Mia: Shaken Not Stirred
Brand Spankin'Top 30 Songs of 1998
Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award !
I guess I’ll run away tomorrow
4th of July in New Orleans
Coney Island Boardwalk
Coney Island Boardwalk
St. Louis Cathedral
Jacob Riis Beach
Sea Shells by the Sea Shore!
Book Lovin' Blogs
The Good, The Bad
The Not Too Cute Archives
I dig the writing so much
I'd read their grocery lists
Blogs Me Likey!
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Saturday, September 30, 2006Stephen Lynch
I am a HUGE Stephen Lynch fan and came across a few of my favorite tunes by him on UTube.According to Wikipedia Stephen is an American musician, Tony Award nominated actor and a comedian famous for his raunchy and clever comic lyrics. All I know is he’s always been able to make me laugh ‘til I cry ….enjoy…
She Gotta Smile aka Big Fat Friend
If I were Gay
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3 comment from: The Krispy Dixie, Mica, Mia,
Friday, September 29, 2006Tarek's Tag
Tarek tagged me for his “Duodecad Tag: The idea of this Tag, is to write a list of the top twelve - it may be more or less than a dozen - blogs you like most. They can also be the most recent blogs you have visited, or just your friends' blogs. You also write some brief about them, and they are supposed to do the same thing too.”
I found it very hard to stop at 12.I had about 30 when I realized I needed to scale back b/c I had to do webshots for them and really no time to do them. So I compromised with myself and did a baker's dozen (13). As mentioned I'm pressed for time today so i'm going to cheat a little here. Rather than write a brief review about each of them I’ll tell you what I like about all them in a nutshell. They make me laugh, they make me think, they educate me, they give me glimpses into different cultures, religions, and lifestyles,and they hook me up with some great links to stuff. In general they touch my soul in a way that keeps me coming back for more. Here in random order are my some of my favorite blogs…I know I left some out…for the entire list please look to your right and check out “Blogapalooza”.
PS:Tarek provided the link to Web Shots Pro they do thumbnails of web sites all you have to do is type in the URL.
PSS: Anyone who comes here on the regular knows I don't tag anyone so if you feel like participating in this tag feel free if ya don't that's solid too.
PSSS: There's a linky thing at the bottom of this post if you've decided to be part of Tarek's tag leave a link there so your tag can be checked out.
A Day In The Night of A Stripper
Boobs, Injuries, and Dr. Pepper
Egyptian Sand Monkey
It's My Life
Lost In America
Kuwaiti Chopper Dude
Welcome To My Lebanese Dream
Aussie In The Orient
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6 comment from: don_veto, The Krispy Dixie, Louise, Aisha, Papillona ®, Mia,
Thursday, September 28, 2006Happy 25th Anniversary To My Parents
My parents celebrated their 25th anniversary yesterday. Friends often remark about the great relationship my parents have with each other. Their love for each other is evident to all that see them together.Throughout the years I’ve often wondered what makes their marriage work and decided for a change to talk to my dad about it.
Mia: So tell me fajer what’s the secret to a good marriage?
Pop: I have no clue. All I know is that I lucked out.
Mia:What about not going to bed angry at each other and all that other stuff?
Pop: Oh please that's bull. There have been many times we’ve gone to bed pissed off at each other. There have been times when I haven’t been her favorite person in the world and she's broken my heart by refusing to even look at me but you get over stuff like that. The thing is this no matter how mad we may have gotten at each other there’s never been a time when I could see our lives without each other.If one of us was in the wrong we can admit it and apologize for it. Baby you don’t understand, your mother well she completes me. Until I met her I was half a person. The fact is i'm hopelessly in love with the woman.
Mia:Are you serious? You still feel like that after 25 years?
Pop: I’m going to feel like that until the day I die and beyond. To me it hasn’t been 25 years it seems like only yesterday I met her. Did you know I fell in love with her at first sight? She smiled at me and I swear my heart stopped for a second.
Mia: That’s so sweet.
Pop: I am so lucky she chose me and I’ve never forgotten that. She could have had anyone she wanted. Trust me there were a lot of guys after her but she saw something in me.
Mia: From what I heard I doubt you were going to let anyone else have her pa.
He started smiling looking towards the other room where she was talking with my aunt and my aunt was laughing at something my mom had said.
Pop: Tell me honestly who doesn’t fall in love with your mother when they meet her? Hell no I wasn’t going to let her slip away from me.
Mia: So there’s no secret pa?
Pop: No baby no secret, only love. The day I shanghaied her into marrying me the way she looked at me gave me goose bumps. I made myself a promise that for as long as we both lived she’d never look at me in any other way and she never has.
I told my mom about my conversation with my dad and what he’d said.Her eyes seemed to tear up for a minute and she looked away from me her voice was cracking…
Mom: Ay that man is an idiot. He thinks he’s the lucky one. All along I’ve been the lucky one because he chose me.
Hours later I walked in on them in the livingroom. The stero was on and their wedding song was playing, "You're My Everything" and they were kissing. It’s not easy to see your parents making out. It’s kind of hard to hold onto your dinner if you get my drift. I yelled out, “Hey people get a room there’s kids here!” to which my dad yells back, “and how the heck do you think you got here in the first place?!”….. Ewww that’s a picture I could’ve gone a lifetime without…..
Labels: mom and dad
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10 comment from: dutchie, Shopaholic Q8eya, laila, christina/ohio, Mica, Louise, , Mia, christina/ohio, Emory,
Wednesday, September 27, 2006Twinkies and Ramadan
I know that Ramadan is supposed to be a time of reflection etc for my Muslim friends but I also know from experience that it can be a also a time of extreme crankiness. Not everyone can handle the fasting experience with grace especially when they’ve just quit smoking. My uncle had quit his 4 pack a day smoking habit several weeks before Ramadan. My aunt in a show of solidarity and encouragement quit smoking too. They weren’t handling it well at all but he was actually handling it worse than she was. He had been substituting food for nicotine and then Ramadan came along and all hell broke loose.
My aunt was cooking dinner and on the phone with my mom who was on her way over there when my uncle walked in. He was in an ultra cranky mood and snapped at her for no reason. She snapped back and they started bickering back and forth while my mom was on the phone.
Mom: Take a deep breath hun. He’s cranky; you’re both cranky it’s the nicotine and food withdrawl. You know nicotine is a drug and he was using food as his crutch and now that’s gone now too.
Nora: I know Mags I know but he’s getting on my nerves. I’m trying to be patient but you better get here soon because I’m not sure if he’s gonna be allowed to live beyond this week.
Mom: Well try not to kill him today violence is not the answer plus killing your hubby during Ramadan is not gonna go down to well with the Imam that’s coming over tonight. I’ll be there soon. I just gotta make a quick stop.
thirty minutes later the sun was setting, the dinner guests were arriving and my mom is still not there. They became worried and called her up
Nora: Woman where are you? The sun went down.
Mom: I know. I’m down the block sitting on a car. I’m going to leave now.
Nora: What?! Why didn’t you come up to the house?
Mom: I was waiting for the sun to set. You guys were scaring the crap out of me with your nicotine and food withdrawals. Tell Hassan to come to the door, I’m hanging up now.
just then the door bell rings my uncle opens it and my mom is standing on the other side with a couple of Twinkies in her free hand. He moves towards to her to kiss her and she stops him with her hand on his chest
Mom: Shhhh don’t say nada papa open your mouth.
uncle Hassan opened his mouth as instructed. Mom shoved the Twinkie in his mouth. She then walked towards Nora and gently placed the remaining Twinkie in her mouth.
Mom: Both of you eat those damn Twinkies and don’t say a word to me or to each other until the sugar rush kicks in. Made me so scared I had to wait until the sun went down to enter the house. I should slap the Melokiyah out of both of you.
with that she went into the living room and greeted the rest of the family who were clapping and laughing hysterically over what had just happened. To this day whenever Ramadan rolls around my mother carries a pack of Twinkies in her purse just in case my aunt and uncle spazz out again.
Never underestimate the power of a Twinkie during Ramadan.
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6 comment from: sexygoba, , Aisha, don_veto, Mia, Amani,
Tuesday, September 26, 2006Tuddy Beer Tuesday
In a blatant rip off and with the kind consent of Louise and Manny Mondays I present Tuddy Beer Tuesday starring Tuddy Bear and Miss Cuddly. Every Tuesday(inshullah) I’ll be posting one of their adventures here. Depending on how much crap I’m carrying in my messenger bag for school that week it could either be Miss Cuddly or Tuddy Beer you see here.
Who in the heck are Tuddy Beer and Miss Cuddly?
Tuddy Beer is small bear about town and a scholar. Once upon a time while in his teens his field of study was religion absorbing theology as he sat in my book case among the Bible, Qur'an and an assortment of books on Hinduism, and Buddhism. Now he can be found studying Psychology theories and criminal behavior theories. Tuddy Beer first came into my life several hours after I was born 23 years ago and he’s never left my side. He is without a doubt the coolest teddy on earth; he even has a rattle in his tummy. His name is Tuddy Beer because well have you ever heard a one year old say Teddy Bear?
(Here I am at 7 weeks old with Tuddy Beer watching over me. He looks so large in this photo b/c I was a preemie I was about 4lbs here.)
Miss Cuddly the pink elephant was a gift from my grandfather when I was four years old and I’ve slept with her ever since. As a child I’d cuddle (hence her name) with her as I drifted off to sleep. She made me feel safe and protected me from el cuco (the boogeyman) when he was living inside of my closet. Her area of expertise is music. Her daytime home is on top of the case that holds my huge CD collection. Miss Cuddly loves it all from swing to punk. Rumor has it she dances with Tuddy when I’m not in the room.
(This was the first time Miss Cuddly and I ever laid eyes on each other. You see how cuddly she is? Oh so soft.)
When I went to bed last night there was a bunch of apples in the bowl and on the base of the bowl.I'm going to let it go b/c it's Ramadan but when I awoke this morning before the sun came up I found only a few apples and those two sitting in the bowl. ...I don't want to make accusations but....
I came home early today and found them hitting up my sheesha, all this time I though it had been Angie. They better remember to clean it out next time.
Ever the cautious ones they never forget the sunblock when enjoying the sun and neither should YOU.
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7 comment from: Judy Abbott, Manny, Mia, don_veto, Mia, don_veto, Amani,
Sunday, September 24, 2006Tickle Me Elmo TMX
I am a child of the 80’s raised on Sesame Street, The Muppets, and Fraggle Rock. Dark Crystal is still one of my favorite movies. Yes I was a devotee of Jim Henson, Jim Henson was my God. So anytime I see anything involving a muppet I lose my mind and revert back to those,” Sunny Day Sweepin' the clouds away On my way to where the air is sweet Can you tell me how to get, How to get to Sesame Street” days which by the way was the first song a one year old Mia learned by heart. I just saw this clip of the new tickle me Elmo and have spent the past several minutes cracking up.
Oh yes this is definitely going on my birthday/Christmas list.
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6 comment from: Louise, christina/ohio, Mica, Eunee, Emory, Mia,
WATER Directed by Deepa Mehta
Starring: Lisa Ray, Seema Biswas, John Abraham, Sarala
This movie was a masterpiece from the beginning to end I was pulled into it and felt it all in my heart. The basic break down of the flick is this….
It’s set in the 1930’s the film tells the story of eight-year old Chuyia (Sarala, who is absolutely fantastic and magical in the role) , whose husband dies before she even meets him. One night her father awakens the little girl to tell her that her husband died the little girl was obviously so young when they married her off she doesn’t even remember getting married.
Her parents shave her head and whisk her away to a house of widows where the women sleep on the ground and beg in the streets to earn their puny portion of rice. Chuyia, feisty and resilient, comes into this world like a ray of light, and soon the women are rethinking their mute acceptance of their fate. Her closest friend and ally is the lovely Kalyani, and soon a forbidden romance begins to develop between Kalyani (Lisa Ray) and Narayana ( John Abraham), a young Brahmin man who, following the teachings of Gandhi, has denounced injustice. There’s a lot to the story such as the beautiful Kalyani who’s been a widow since the age of nine is prostituted by one of the women of the house as a way to earn money for them. . In one scene Narayana disputes the so called religious reason for isolating the widows. He says that the real reason behind it all is actually economics. By the last half of the movie I was pretty much drenched in tears and pissed to realize that this is still going on today.
Note: When Deepa Mehta first began filming WATER in 2000, angry fundamentalist mobs burned her sets and threatened her life. The Indian government claimed it could not protect her, and the project had to wait four years before finally filming in Sri Lanka. Her film has raised the ire of extremists because it challenges the Hindu customs that dictate that widows, considered half-dead after the loss of their husbands, must be closeted in holy ashrams--a practice that still exists today.
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5 comment from: Louise, Aisha, Mia, Emory, Mia,
Saturday, September 23, 2006Happy Holidays
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Friday, September 22, 2006Goodbye Summer 2006
Summer is slipping away. By this time tomorrow autumn 2006 will have arrived.I hate saying goodbye to the summer; to the beaches,the parks,the streets jumping with music, the smell of cookouts, block parties and street fairs. I hate saying goodbye to the sight of kids young and old playing in la pompa (fire hydrants) until the sun disappears into the night sky. Man I even hate saying goodbye to that funky hot side walk smell. I hate saying goodbye to midnight games of handball in the village.
The smell of summer will be replaced with the aroma of autumn. Each season for me at least has its’ own smell, its own memories,allure and magic. Autumn is candy apples, pumpkin pies, pasteles, pudin de pan, turkey, fabric softener scented sweaters and denimn jackets pulled out of winter storage. Oh yeah and the dreams. Dreams of world series baseball specifically of a subway series between the Mets and Yankees. Which by the way we'rethisclose to this year.
Autumn is when New York explodes with color schemes so beautiful they dazzle the eyes and take your breath away. Every where you look in every boro on every block from Central Park to upstate New York Mother Nature puts on show. The endless shades of red, gold and pale greens on the trees; the pinks, reds, yellows, blues, and purples of the fall wild flowers in bloom stir the soul and put rainbows to shame. I like to think the colors are a gift as a consolation for putting the summer wind away until next year. The summer wind that seems to carry magic within its' breath.
For me summer has gone by too quickly yet at the same time it seems to have been endless. The brutal heat wave and power outages are already a distant memory. For the most part this summer was some what of a haze as if someone held a gauzy veil over my eyes. However the memories of water balloon fights,starry nights,the welcomed feeling of the summer wind on my skin on a hot night, the never ending fireworks, the sight of boats sailing in the harbor,the music and of course dancing in the dark remain vibrant and vivid. I experienced a lot this summer. I learned about the power of love and faith. I learned to appreciate life all over again and never take it for granted because all it takes is one twist of fate for it to be gone. I made new friends, said goodbye to old friends and one day awoke from a deep sleep to find I had friends I never even knew about.
So on this beautiful day the last official day of summer I’ll walk around my city taking it all in and appreciating its’ beauty. I'll savor the last gentle caresses of the summer wind in my hair and along my face. Caresses that remind me of a beloved friend saying their goodbyes until the next time we're reunited. I'll inhale the summer air deep holding it in my lungs never wanting to forget the scent of the season... and when the night finally turns into morning I'll say a silent goodbye to the summer of 2006. I know that the summer of 2006 changed me somehow. I haven’t quite figured out how exactly but I know it has.
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3 comment from: Mica, Emory, Mia,
Monday, September 18, 2006The incredible shrinking grandma
My mother has become the vitamin Nazi. We always forget to take them. It’s not like when we were kids when vitamins came in the shape of the Flintstones and were chewable. Now we’ve moved on to these huge pills with omega this, ribo reebo whatchama call it that and complex Bx12.5 It would be easier to remember to take them if they tasted like a mojito or something but noooo. They taste like that lamp post on Miller Ave. your cousin dared you to lick on a freezing cold day when you were 7 years old. What ? Surely I can’t be the only one who ever did that ?! I mean damn we can walk on the moon but we can’t make a vitamin that tastes like a mojito? Come on people!
Mom is worried about my future health, Osteoporosis in particular. It seems my 58 yr old grandmother is shrinking; she'd developed post menopausual osteoporosis. The woman almost killed us during menopause. She’d run the air conditioner in the dead of winter because of her hot flashes... There were times when it was actually warmer outside than it was inside of my grandma’s place meanwhile my grandmother is parading around the house in a summer outfit as if it were 93 degrees in her house. I even got bronchitis a couple of times.
The incredible shrinking grandma was never tall to begin with. In her pre-shrinking days she was 4ft 11 and now she’s like 4ft 9. If this keeps up she’ll be Polly Pocket sized by the time she’s in her 70’s. It’s not obvious to everyone that there’s less of my grandma these days because of her high heels. Other than my grandfather and her doctor no one ever sees her without her high heels. My grandmother was born wearing stilettos, no joke. She came out of the birth canal sporting a pair of black stilettos, a cigarette skirt and tight sweater. Oh yeah and those bras that make your boobs so pointy they can poke you and make you bleed. Yes people back in her day my grandma was a hottie. She was the chick whose bad girl beauty inspired men to tattoo her name on their bodies. She was “bad girl” cool and sexy before people were even aware a woman could be both without being a slut. She always wore her jet black hair really short in what was called back then the pixie look while everyone else was wearing it long or in a beehive. She was never really one for make up her beauty was natural. Her entire makeup scheme consisted of eyes brows tweezed and plucked to perfection and a tube of neutral lipstick. The woman was and will forever be smokin’, she is still complemented on her beauty.
Until she took a yoga class as part of her course load in college I had never seen my grandma out of her high heels and had never realized how small she was. Okay I am no giant myself I’m 4ft 11 as well but for some reason my grandmother seemed bigger. But then again this woman has been an incredible role model. At the age of 35 she went back to high school and got her GED and while in her 40's went to college and got her Masters in social work. Go grandma! Even she were to shrink a couple of more inches in my mind she is still 6ft tall.
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6 comment from: Champ - Love Hound, Aisha, Mia, The Don ®, Jane, Mia,
Saturday, September 16, 2006If you’re dead and reading this R.I.P; if you’re alive and reading this I’m going to kill you
Sometimes I think that being a best friend well at least for me is a little bit like being a parent. You have to know when to let go of their hand and let them make their own way in the world. Reina and I have been inseparable since high school. We recently got our BA in Forensic Psychology and while I decided to post-pone graduation and add some counseling classes to my degree before moving onto grad school she decided to move to another state and give life out there a try. She wanted no more of school. I wasn’t too happy because a BA is nothing now a days but it’s her life and she had to do what she felt is best for her. All I could do is give her my blessing and wish her luck.
For the first couple of weeks I missed her terribly it was like part of me was missing. She is like the ying to my yang. We finish each others thoughts, each others sentences. We have our own little jokes that no one else gets but make us dissolve into fits of laughter. It’s like we read each others minds. Sometime something will happen and all I have to do is give her a certain look and she’ll crack up because she knows what I’m going to say. I didn’t hear a word from her, no one did. I figured she was too busy to give anyone a call. Everyone was surprised that I hadn’t heard from her since we’re always on the phone with each other when we’re apart. I text messaged her following: "The only excuse you have for not calling me is that you’re dead. If you’re dead and reading this R.I.P if you’re alive and reading this I’m going to kill you.”
For the past week I’ve had the feeling something is wrong with her. I woke up this morning after having dreamt with her. She’s going through one of her depression bouts I say to myself and I am determined that I will speak to her or hear news of her today, if not I’m heading out to her. Reina is prone to bouts of depression and we’ve been through some pretty rough stuff. I’ve always been her flotation device when the waters have gotten too rough for her. It’s always been the same she’ll push me away but just when she’s about to go under for the third time she’ll make eye contact with me and hold her hand out for me to pull her back to safety.
I call her phone and leave a message around 5 pm. An hour later I get a call its her… she was crying , “Why are you crying? I can't front I got kind of misty too. “Because I missed you so much. I’m back in NY I just got here. I couldn’t take it anymore I was so depressed.” She says and pours out her story.
Like so many of the stories I post here this story has a moral. It's about reconnection, love and friendship. If there is a friend or a family member out there you are missing, haven’t spoken to in awhile give them a call. Odds are they’ve been thinking about you too.
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4 comment from: sexygoba, Cuteberry, Spontaneousnessity, Mia,
Thursday, September 14, 2006Drunk Mexicans With Weapons
A couple of days ago Rebecca was discussing her concern over safety issues in a specific neighborhood in Queens, “There are drunk Mexican people that constantly are fighting and with weapons.” That’s a direct quote by the way. Is that the coolest statement or what? It just screams with vivid imagery.
I immediately imagined marauding bands of Mexicans in Queens wearing huge sombreros some sporting Frito Bandito mustaches. In one hand they carry a bottle of mezcal with the worm in it, in the other hand a pistolera. They also have a mariachi band follows them playing theme music where ever they go. I’ll be honest with you after that remark everything else was a blur I couldn’t stop laughing. All that kept running through my mind was ”Drunk Mexicans with Weapons”. It sounds like the title to a Quentin Tarintino/ Robert Rodriguez flick.
The plot: Drunk Mexicans hanging around Roosevelt Ave in Queens harassing unsuspecting gringos on blind dates oh yeah and they’d have ninja skills. Gary Busey and Cheech Marin would play good cop and bad cop tracking the drunk Mexicans . Marin a Mexican himself would carry the shame of what his people were doing and because of this was extra belligerent toward all Latino immigrants.
A secret covert agency within homeland security headed by John Travolta would dispatch their best assassins played by Sandra Bullock and Yaphet Kotto to NYC to take care of the marauding Mexicans. It seems that the drunk Mexicans spooked a nervous black market arms dealer posing as landscaper in a van. The first time arms dealer not being familiar with that area of NY had no ideal that the Mexicans spotting the van with the landscapers for hire sign would be drawn to the van looking for work. The dealer thinking that they were undercover officers posing as drunk Mexicans ran off leaving the unlocked van behind. The Mexicans now have in their possession a new cache of weapons but what they don’t know is that hidden in the handle of several of the weapons are vials of a chemical engineered virus strong enough to wipe a country off the face of the planet within weeks. Certain terrorist organizations would kill to get their hands on this and in fact will. They’ve also dispatched their own people to NYC to track down the Mexicans. However they were being held up by airport security because they flew into Kennedy and La Guardia Airports with cosmetic items and shampoo bottles in their suitcases. They didn’t know about the security ban on these items. Now the race is on to see who will reach the drunk Mexicans first.
The tag line would be; “ They’re drunk. They’re Mexicans. They’ve got weapons.” Drunk Mexicans With Weapons” starring Antonio Banderas, Gary Busey, Sandra Bullock, Salma Hayek, Cheech Marin and Yaphet Kotto . Music by the Gypsy Kings and Los Lobos coming to a theatre near you.
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2 comment from: Mia, Mick Gordon,
Wednesday, September 13, 2006Addictions
I was reading a post by one of my favorite bloggers Papillona Sky on addiction and it got me thinking about my own addictions and how they are a part of my life like a monkey on my back. I decided to share some of them with you. Maybe you and I share addictions.
I am addicted to.... music. I think if someone wanted to torture me the most effective way to do it would be to deny me access to music.
I am addicted to...
walking in the rain.
dancing. I can never understand people that don’t dance. Dancing is a chance to release it all.
cologne. Nice smelling cologne, soft not over powering. Something like Cool Water or Burberry. I will follow a man to the end of the world if he smells good…lol I never leave my house without splashing a little on. Key word being little No one should be able to smell you before you enter a room or get a headache because of your cologne. Most importantly the cologne should not be masking the aroma of ass if you get my drift.
Labels: about me
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4 comment from: Aisha, christina/ohio, Eunee, Ritardo,
Sunday, September 10, 2006September 11th: Five years later
Five years have gone by in the blink of an eye. Five years later I sit here looking out my window at where The Twin Towers once stood. It seems like only yesterday I was looking at them in the same panaromic sweep as Lady Liberty, her smile always beaming at me from the harbor. Five years later I think about the nearly 3,000 lives that were lost and I still get that dull pain in my heart. I think about that Tuesday, September 11th 2001 and I still cry. I was forced to grow up that day and I wasn't ready, none of us were. Five years later people still talk about how blue the sky was. They still talk about how gorgeous the day was before we got hit.It was spring-like, so breath taking. Even on that day five years ago as people stepped outside of their homes ready to start the work day they were amazed with how beautiful it was.
Maybe it was God's way of shining his grace on us in anticipation of what was headed our way. I've often wondered where God was that day? Did he happen to look away at the moment we were hit? Was his attention diverted by the latest prayer of someone wanting to hit it big in the lottery? I've often wondered when the planes hit did he cover his eyes? Was the horror of it all too much for him to bear?
It’s been five years since the collective heart of New York was broken. Yet we’ve stood with pride through it all. With determination to rebuild and courage in the face of more threats. I wish I could say that with each year that has passed that the heart has healed but it hasn’t. I don't think it ever will, but we stand as resilient, brave and proud today as we did five years ago. On some days the pain is less yet on others it is intense especially when we remember exactly how much we lost. Even now we continue to lose. We are losing our 911 heroes due to illness. The very same ones that endured weeks and weeks of breathing in the toxic stew that was our air. Five years later my father still has nightmares about the rain of body parts that fell from the sky. He still has nightmares of the people some dead, some living flying past his office window. In his dreams he always manages to stick his hand out his window and pull them in to safety. This spring and summer saw the release of WTC movies. I couldn’t watch them it’s still too soon for me but I agree the stories need to be told. No one can forget this wasn’t about buildings being destroyed it was about the murder of nearly 3,000 people. The one constant that has endured and grown in every sense is our pride. We are proud as hell to be mother fluffin' New Yorkers, proud to be Americans.
This past spring also saw the release of the 911 calls made to the city’s emergency switch board. We heard the voices of the dying. Some knew they were going to die others held out hope they’d be rescued. Many of those heroes failed to make it back out, among them two members of my own family. While cleaning out the Deutsche Bank Building near ground zero remains of more victims were found. Granted they were bone fragments but none the less they were still remains and for many of the families it brought some peace. It’s still amazes me that NYC’s Bravest (fire dept.) and Finest (police dept.) knowing the danger they faced still ran into the buildings while others ran out. They knew they faced certain death but were trying to save as many of their fellow New Yorkers as possible before the angels came for them. I know they didn’t do this because it was their job they did this because they were the bravest of the brave. It takes a special person to run into a burning building to face a most certain death when others are running out.
Five years later I find that my heartache is accompanied by anger at times. I am angry that there are still people out there who think that we deserved this,that this was "payback" for this government's policies and actions. Yet the countrymen of those very same people are trying to get into my country because of thier oppressive governments.Five years later they still treat us with contempt, ignorance and hatred.Yet we are called the ones called infidels.New Yorkers will not allow the hatred of some to snuff out the love we feel for our brothers and sisters.
Five years later I will not apologize for my government or for my less than stellar president. I may not agree with certain policies and actions of my government but at least I have the freedom to talk about, yell it out,and even blog about it and not have to worry that I will be dragged away and imprisioned. Call me arrogant if you will but I will not apologize for my "decadent" western ways. I refuse to bow my mother hubbing head. I bow to no one. I am an American, I am a New Yorker born and raised as were my parents. I refuse to apologize for my freedom, infact I revel in all it entails. I refuse to apologize for my New York accent. I refuse to apologize for the middle finger I give everytime Bin Laden releases one of his tapes. Still I do not hate him or his followers because I know that Karma, God and whoever is in charge of this will see that they get what is coming to them when their time comes. They will be reborn into a life where they will have to atone for what they did during this one.
When I started to write this I thought I wouldnt be able to write much about it. I mean five years later what more can I say? I guess I was wrong, my head may have thought it had said all it had to say on the subject but then my heart took over.Today I am angry. I am angry for the families of the 911 victims. I am angry because of all the lives that were lost. Yet I know that this anger will subside it always does. I will meditate and I will remember. I will remember the members of my blood family; I will remember the members of my brotherhood of man family. I will remember the ones I knew, I will remember the ones I never met. I will remember them all as long as I live because I carry them in my heart and there they will remain until the day my heart stops forever.
::Note:: If you've written something on 911 and would like to share it with me and the rest of the heads that read this blog please add your link below. I know it doesn't seem like alot of heads come here but they do. I know this because the stats of this site get e-mailed to me on a weekly basis. My visitors are just type shy...
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Friday, September 08, 2006Being The Better Person...
My mom has always told me to strive to be the better person. The woman believes in total forgiveness. It doesn’t matter what garbage the other person heaps on me or what they do to me. I am expected to forgive from the heart and only when the person has been forgiven can I walk out of that person’s life if I wish to do so. I wish I could tell you that I had embraced this philosophy whole heartedly as I was growing up but then I’d be lying. I also wish I could tell you that it’s an easy lesson to learn but it’s not. You have to over come so many emotions and mind sets before you’re able to be the “better person”.
It seems like my mom has been teaching me this lesson as far back as I can remember.
I’ll give you the gist of it. Anger, hatred, jealousy well they are all negative and poisonous emotions. These emotions poison our psyche and effect our every day lives. Instead of carrying around all of these negative emotions I meditate on them on and then I approach the source of those emotions and get to work. I talk with the person, air things out and forgive them. More often than not they can’t believe I am forgiving them or that I am extending my hand in friendship to them. See the thing is this once you’ve forgiven them from your heart you do stay in their lives in one form or another because the emotion that made you want to bitch slap them is no longer there. The fact of the matter is I didn’t really understand what the heck my mother was trying to teach me until I got older and even then I’d hear my moms voice in the back of my head, “Mia be the better person .” Yesterday I had a situation where I had to be the better person and for the first time in my life it wasn’t my mom’s voice I heard it was my own.
The whole thing started months ago. My friend Angela has 2 best friends Rebecca and Margaret and they’ve been hanging out for years. Last year I came into the picture. Several weeks ago that hideous big headed bastard monster (no, not Cheney.) reared it’s head. The one thing I’d noticed was that Angela was a very submissive, affection hungry people pleaser. Because Angela was in a really crappy emotionally abusive relationship her friends looked down on her and treated her as if she were the village idiot incapable of making even the smallest decisions regarding her life. Personally I believe in empowering my female friends especially females like Angela. Often you’ll find that when they willingly take on the abuse that is heaped on them and are so ready to kiss everyone ass that they come across they lack self worth. They feel that they don’t deserve better than what is being given to them. Angela’s friends didnt approve of her life's choices. I don’t doubt that they loved her. They were displeased with her decisions in life yet I understood why her friends acted the way they did towards her, she gave them that power.
Hanging out with me seemed to affect her. I guess started rubbing off on her and my words to her during our therapy sessions had taken root. Pretty soon the boyfriend was history and she began standing up to her friends. Margaret the leader of their clique wasn’t too thrilled with Angela’s new found independence and blamed me for the change in Angela. Once upon a time Margaret found me to be exhilarating and fun and always asked that I be included in their get togethers. Now it was,“I don’t like Mia she irks me”…but was never able to say exactly what it was about me that irked her. She made it clear to Angela that I was not welcomed when the 3 of them hung out after all they were “sisters” and I was an outsider. Then it got to the point where every time she saw or talked to Angela she would denigrate me. This really upset Angela. I found the whole thing hysterical,"what are we back in junior high?” I decided for Angela’s sake I’d talk to Margaret.
When people first hang out with me they tend to underestimate me. They take my silent nature as a sign of weakness, and think that I am a push over . They don't realize that I am picking up their vibes, studying them. As they get to know me they realize that I am anything but weak and Margaret got to see this first hand. I hadn’t seen Margaret in awhile she seemed to be avoiding me. I’m sure the fact that Angela telling her that I wanted to sit down and talk to her about what was going on had nothing to do with it. I (sure it didn’t.) I even tried to get a hold of her via online . Whenever I’d log onto my messenger she’d log off. Finally I put my messenger on invisible mode and caught her ass online. I told her that I wanted to arrange and day that we could talk because I’d heard she had a lot to say about me. She denied it ….of course…and said she didn’t have time to meet in person because of her schedule…. Okay so how about we address it now since we’re both online… I can’t I just came on to check something for my boss…
I saw this was not going to be done the adult away we were going to have to settle it the internet way. I wrote her an email basically telling her that I know that this whole thing was rooted in jealousy and that she had nothing to fear in terms of me wanting to break up their friendship. She responded… with a rather mean spirited letter she even told me she wasn’t afraid of me. Which I found kind of odd considering I hadn’t threatened her or given her a reason to fear me. I shrugged it off and I responded with a beautiful satirical letter mocking her mean spiritedness. I’m sorry sometimes I just can’t help myself the smart-ass side takes over. I’m not perfect you know.
Then yesterday we bump into each other at school. The girl looked surprised. I approached her with my usual greeting…
Mia : Hey Margaret.
Her eyes darted around I guess she thought I had bought back-up with me…you know how we Bronx heads run 20 deep with our posse. She didn’t know that I was taking some classes this semester. So she assumed I had no business on campus.
Margaret : So you ummm wanna do this now or what?
Mia : Do what?
Margaret : talk , settle this. That’s why you here right?
Mia : Chick relax it ain’t that serious.I have a class. Like I said in my letter I have no beef with you I have nothing against you. If I have something to say to you I’ll say it to your face and I would’ve told you everything I wrote in the letter to your face if you hadn’t been dodging me.Look if you have a problem with me you should be woman enough to tell me to my face and not be popping crap behind my back. So here I am... what’s the problem?
Of course she had nothing to say. I smiled at her.
Mia : Don’t worry about it Margaret. I was never mad at you. I found the whole thing to be kind of funny ask Angela. If you’d gotten to know me you would have known that it takes more than kiddie crap like this to get to me.
Margaret : Mia I can understand if you don’t want to be my friend anymore.
Margaret can be intimidating because of her attitude. I approached her and gave her a hug, “relax it ain’t that serious Margaret” when I stepped away from her I could tell she was in shock, she was feeling kind of stupid. I guess she’d expected me to either cower in her presence or to come at her with my fists in the air. She didn’t expect me to be the better person.
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Wednesday, September 06, 2006The Dead Man's Bowls
My mother has these huge soup bowls. I swear you can bathe a baby in them. Okay that’s an exaggeration. She loves these bowls because they remind her of her childhood. Her grandmother used to own several sets of them just like them. As a matter of fact my mother claims that you couldn’t legally claim to be Latino unless you owned a set of these bowls. The bowls hold exactly one quart of soup this is no exaggeration I actually did the measurement before I sat down to write this.
When my mom was a kid her grandmother like so many other Latina women across the New York City would make thick stick to your ribs sancochos (stews), and asopaos (gumbo ) on cold winter days or whenever someone had a hangover or la gripe. Back in the days the bowls were considered kind of expensive Woolworths would sell them for $3.00 each. Now a days you can find them for .99 cents but they are not the same they are made lighter they have less weight. The old ones were really heavy, you could give someone a concussion with them or develop carpal tunnel syndrome from carrying them around.
A couple of years ago an elderly friend of my mothers went back home to Puerto Rico to visit family. While he was there he came across the huge soup bowls which are still popular in Puerto Rico. The bowls were made old school style thick and wrist straining heavy. He brought several for himself and a dozen for my mother. Sadly he never got to give them to my mother himself. Several hours after returning to his apartment in New York he became ill and passed away in the hospital several weeks later.
After his death months went by before his daughter was able to bring herself to clean out his apartment. She saw the bowls in a box that had my mothers name in big bold letters. The bowls were still packed in their tissue paper and egg crating. She had the bowls sent over to my house. As soon as my mom saw them her eyes teared up. She had known the old man since she was around 11 years old he was her great aunts cousin by marriage. When she first started learning how to cook he and his wife would always eat what she made and no matter how bad it tasted they’d rave on about it telling her it was the best they’d ever eaten.
My mom put the dishes up in the kitchen cabinet expecting them to be used. Unfortunately my uncle Tank developed a phobia of the dishes. He started calling them the dead man’s bowls and that spread to the rest of us. Every time my mom would make soup or gumbo for dinner she’d bring down the bowls and someone would inevitably make a comment about feeling creepy about using the dead man’s bowls. The bowls then would find their way back to the kitchen cabinet and our regular bowls would be used.
A couple of months ago my mom got rid of her old soup bowls telling us she intended to replace them with a couple of new sets. It was a lie she never intended to replace them at all! Her actual intent was to break our resistance to using the dead man’s bowls. Even though the calendar says it’s still summer the weather in New York says different, it’s been behaving as if it’s fall out here. Today for example turned into a chilly drizzly day and my mom decided to make sopa de salchichon a house favorite. My mom began setting the table for dinner. First she placed the tureen of soup on the table followed by the avocado salad, a huge Pyrex bowl of white rice and a tray of buttered toasted Italian bread with sesame seeds. My family was already seated when my mom came in with the dead man’s bowls.
Mom: Okay people listen up we have no soup bowls. I haven’t replaced the ones I threw out. This is it. These are the bowls we have so work with it.
the smirk on her face was priceless she thought she had won the soup bowl battle/
Uncle Tank: Big Mags from the group home ( his nickname for my mom his older sister) those are the dead mans bowls!
Mom: Abbie (her nickname for him) get over it. They didn’t belong to him they never did. He had brought them for me. He never used them. The suckers were still in their wrapping when they brought them to me.
Uncle Tank: Still , Big Mags he wrapped them!
Mom: And? You’ve got your cootie shots. You need to get over this fear of the bowls man.
Uncle Tank: I’m not afraid of them it just creeps me out. They are the dead man’s bowls.
Mom: Wha? Dead mans balls? Wtf you talking about? Stop mumbling.
by this time my siblings and cousin were hysterical with laughter.
Mom: It’s not like I want you to fondle a dead mans balls. All I want you to do is eat some soup from the freaking bowls the dead man got for me. Sheesh you got me calling him the dead man. Don Jesus.. his name was Don Jesus! She turned to my dad…William some help here hon please?
Dad: Babe those are the dead man’s bowls! We can’t eat soup out of those!
more laughter…it’s obvious there’s a mutiny going on. My uncle is now standing behind my father embracing him. My dad raised my uncle when my grandma died so my dad is actually more like his father than bro in law.
Uncle Tank: See big mags no one wants to eat from the bowls. The dead mans bowls. Even pop doesn’t wanna eat from them.
Dad: Babe…dead mans bowls!
Mom: Steven William, Caitlin Nicole, Matthew David, and Edwin Jr (my cousin) are you guys afraid to eat from the dead man’s… ayy! Don Jesus’ bowls?
Mom: Fine esta bien. You don’t have to eat out of them. The only thing is I only have 4 small soup bowls in the cabinet over the stove. I don’t see how all of you are going to eat dinner at the same time.
Uncle Tank: Don’t worry ma I got this.
My uncle served the kids their soup in the small bowls ma had stashed in the cabinet over the stove. He and my dad ate out of plastic Tupperware containers as my mom ate her soup from the dead man’s bowls. As for me I wasn’t having soup I was having a grilled chicken breast salad which my mom had served to me on a regular dinner plate. Later on as my siblings did the dishes and my folks relaxed in the living room …
Dad: Babe if you want I’ll pick up a couple of sets of those colorful soup bowls you like so much this weekend.
Mom: Vete al carajo William you were part of the dead man’s bowls mutiny.
William: His name was Don Jesus not the dead man. dissolving into a fit of giggles
Mom: (laughing as well) That’s it I’m telling your mother on you. No respect for a dead man or his bowls.
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Tuesday, September 05, 2006Next up at bat Mia...
There must be something about my demeanor that screams heathen to people. They’re always trying to convert me. Maybe I should seriously consider having those horns growing out of my head surgically removed. Due to a wicked ear infection I’d been confined to my bed for a couple of days. Finally my medicine kicked in and I was actually able to walk around my house without losing my balance. Since my ear infection prevented me from talking on the phone my friend asked me to meet our friends in a chat room. While chatting with my friends I got a private message from someone who was not in the room with us. The following is a condensed version of a 90 minute conversation. I divided it up because it is kind of long.
CitiZeN Of ZioN : <<=== just tryin' to be friend. what do you do?
MiA : I’m a psychology student and I mentor abused women.
CitiZeN Of ZioN : interesting . You mean like women that beat up on people? My major is Biblical and theological studies.
MiA : No, women who get beaten on.
(Wait did he say biblical studies? Any money this is going to be a discussion on religion)
CitiZeN Of ZioN : oh the opposite... my bad. what do you tell them?
MiA : Lead with your left, duck and weave. I’m kidding. I help them reach the goals that they’ve planned for themselves.
CitiZeN Of ZioN : what is a patient, intellectual female doin' on aol?
(Baseball announcer enters the room...“ The pitcher approaches the mound….pitching for the Born Again Team is C.O.Z.” )
MiA : boredom
CitiZeN Of ZioN : Do you attend church?
(the pitcher winds up…the crowd leans in to watch the pitch)
MiA : No
CitiZeN Of ZioN: your spiritual?
MiA : Yup but I don’t “do” organized religion.
CitiZeN Of ZioN : ok... but that was not my question... you consider youself spiritual?
(The smell of an attempted conversion is thick in the air.)
MiA : Yes I do.
CitiZeN Of ZioN : ok... spiritual, interesting... tell me what you mean?
if you don' t mind me askin'.
(Here we go…I’m going to have to find a way out of this convo politely…I could tell him I worship Satan…or that I am Wicca but that would be wrong…)
MiA : I’m not a fan of a lot of the church teachings and I believe I don’t have to be in a church to worship God. She’s around me everywhere I go.
CitiZeN Of ZioN : your right... you don't have to go to church to worship God... he is omnipresent.... and you are also right when you say some church teaching are not agreeable..... so what I do not understand is what you say when you said that you are spiritual... would you explain that for me?
MiA: I thought I just did. I believe in God. I do not believe in the church.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: oh ok. interesting. I understand. And I believe you have a calling in your life. Your talents and gifts are destined to serve the Lord. With your intellect, God can really manifest himself in your life to express his Love through you.
CitiZeN Of ZioN : are you a Christian?
MiA : no
MiA : Like I said before I am not affiliated with any organized religion.
CitiZeN Of ZioN : I am not talking about organization and religion.
MiA : I don’t affiliate myself with any particular religion.
CitiZeN Of ZioN : I do not neither.
(you swim in a sea of lies….I can smell a born again from a mile away)
CitiZeN Of ZioN : I feel you Ma
(oh snizap he’s using an urban term of endearment.. I guess he figures it’s a way in, using it as common bond. We’re both young urban boricua college students. He has no idea I hate strangers calling me “ma, mami, boo, chula, and all that other crap. It breeds familiarity where none exsists.)
CitiZeN Of ZioN : read with your heart... and see with your spiritual eye..... hear my words....
(wtf is he trying to hypnotize me? What next…you are getting sleepy…sleepy… cluck like a chicken!)
CitiZeN Of ZioN : do you have a relationship with Jesus Christ?
MiA : yeah we're on a 1st name basis. We even share a birthday.
CitiZeN Of ZioN : seriously Mia.... do you?
MiA : yeah just as I have a relationship with Allah, Buddha, and Yahweh
CitiZeN Of ZioN : Jesus said that His word is spiritual.
MiA : Jesus said a lot of things . As did other prophets.
CitiZeN Of ZioN : Jesus is not just a prophet... he is the son of God.
MiA : That is what you believe. I believe different.
CitiZeN Of ZioN : Its not what I believe... its what I know.
(and like the old GI Joe cartoon says, “knowing is half the battle”)
CitiZeN Of ZioN: you said your spiritual... listen with your spirit....
MiA: Listen I see where this is headed. I don’t want to walk down your spiritual path. It’s not my thing and it’s not what was meant for me.
(that should be the signal to end the convo right? Wrong!)
CitiZeN Of ZioN : your right but anythin' outside of God is not spiritual. please listen to my words....
MiA : Look your God, my God, they don’t need to go by the same name. What is important is that we try to do the best that we can while we are here on earth.
CitiZeN Of ZioN : Jesus died to restore your spirit.... to have be born again, not physically but spiritually...
MiA: Nothing was wrong with me the first time I was born.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: sweetheart... no one in the sight of God is good.... not one is righteous... please listen to me....
(wtf? No one is good? What kind of garbage is that? This is what they teach in church? )
CitiZeN Of ZioN: he died to restore our spirits... that was taken from us from the day Adam sinned.... Jesus said I am the truth the life and the way... no one can see the father unless through me.... please listen to me...
MiA: every prophet has said different things. There is no one right path to God. We each have our own individual paths to spirituality. It’s not a one size fits all type of deal.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: I know what they said.... there is only one way.... please.... listen…
MiA: so what you’re saying is Jesus is the only way?
CitiZeN Of ZioN: yes... he is the only way Mami....
MiA: Uh huh.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: i was looking for God... I was searching for him.... and I found him through Jesus Christ....
MiA : That’s great, that you were able to find him when you needed him. But that’s your path not mine.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: Can you say that your path would guarantee you a spot in heaven?
MiA: yes I can
CitiZeN Of ZioN : how Mia?
MiA: b/c in the end God doesn’t care what religion you follow.
CitiZeN Of ZioN that's not true.
MiA: God is about acceptance and love not about quotas or religious cliques. In the end it doesn’t matter who you bow down and pray to.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: You are right God is about that.... but you have to be forgiven by God in order for that to guarantee you a spot in heaven.
MiA: Forgiven? I haven’t done anything to be forgiven for as of yet and if I do that’s between God and me. We don’t need no middle man.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: sweetheart... what about the evil the is so prevalent in your heart and all the evil you had done and said in your entire life?
MiA: Evil prevalent in my heart? I’m not saying I’m perfect but I’m not evil either.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: ok... would you mind answering me some questions?
CitiZeN Of ZioN: thank you.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: Did you ever lie in your entire life?
MiA: maliciously? No… in avoidance of responsibility for something I’ve done…NO.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: yes or no be honest
MiA: I am guilty of lying to protect someone’s feelings. I lied to someone by telling them that a shirt didn’t make them look fat because they had issues with low self-esteem and I didn’t want them to be self-conscious all day.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: so you did lie
CitiZeN Of ZioN: look deep into your heart... be careful not to lie...
MiA: I am looking
CitiZeN Of ZioN: ok... you never really lied... that's hard to believe....
MiA: don’t judge me by your own habits. You’ve already lied to me once during this conversation when you said you were not affiliated with any religion.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: am not judging.... am asking you to judge yourself. next question....
MiA: who would’ve thought a man could part the red sea or another man walk on water. Yet they claim it was done.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: It was done. I can prove it
MiA: so the same way you can prove it, I can prove I don’t lie
CitiZeN Of ZioN: next question.... did you ever steal anythin' in your entire life?
CitiZeN Of ZioN: ok.... did you ever cheat?
CitiZeN Of ZioN: did you ever lust for anyone in your entire life?
MiA: nope. I’ve fallen in love but not lust. I know the difference between the two.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: Do you have a heart?
MiA: of course I do and I have the heart murmur to prove it.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: ok... did you ever hate anyone?
MiA: I don’t hate b/c it’s a waste of time, and its just negative energy. Not to mention it produces bad karma. My Buddhist mother taught me this as a child.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: Did you ever have pre marital sex?
MiA: Not today but there’s always tomorrow.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: ok... do you ever use God name in vain?
MiA: Nope and that’s why we get along so well I don’t use her name in vain and she doesn’t use mine.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: be serious. were you ever jealous?
MiA: I’m not a jealous person. Again jealousy is a negative energy. Again my Buddhist mother, again bad karma.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: ok....
(it takes him awhile to come back to me. I imagine he’s poring over the index of his how to convert heathens manual.)
CitiZeN Of ZioN: let me just tell you somethin' about the human heart.... for within' a man's heart, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and make a man unclean or evil. And that's how God looks at us... God does not look at us on the outside like men does... .God looks at the heart.....
MiA: Okay my turn now. Everything you said was negative. I choose to define people by the good I see within them, the good I see around me. Don’t judge the heart of mankind by the evil attributes of a few because not every one has evil in them.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: Everyone does.
MiA:that’s your opinion
CitiZeN Of ZioN: That's not an opinion. Its the truth and from God.
like I said we look at the outside appearance... God looks at the heart. and to say that your a good person.... sweetheart.... please. Don't get me wrong.... you do good deeds... God sees that..... but that does not make us a good person.
MiA: I didn’t say I was a good person nor did I claim to do good deeds. Now if you got the impression that I am a good person and do good deeds then that’s a vibe you’re picking up on your own. I didn't plant it there. You have attempted to paint me with this broad brush when you know nothing of me except that I am human. You have attempted to judge me and label me as a sinner because I don’t share your belief system. If I buy into what you’re saying about the heart of man and it’s true then no one is worth saving.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: EXACTLY!!!! The wisest thing you said!
MiA: But i don’t believe that what your saying is true.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: we are not worth saving.... but GOD LOVES US.... that Jesus pay the price. please... open your heart Mia....
(okay time to wrap this convo up. My friends were discussing anal beads in an attempt to cure a professors tendency to act like he had a stick up his butt and I’d missed the whole hysterical conversation and people wanted to know why I wasn’t talking. )
MiA: Are you happy with your spiritual path?
CitiZeN Of ZioN: Yes
MiA: and I am happy with mine. In the end that’s all that matters. It doesn’t matter how we worship or who we worship what matters is that we worship if it is in our heart to do so.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: Mia please.... Mia... we were created to worship God.
MiA: No we weren’t because if that’s true then we’re nothing but God’s vanity toy with no free will of our own. Then our sole purpose here on earth is to be on our knees 24-07 in worship.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: yes... but God is a spirit.... we must worship in spirit.... and in truth. The truth, the life and the way is in Jesus.
MiA: for you, that is your truth. Mine is different.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: The cross is the symbol of God's love for his people.... to restore us to him. please listen to me. open your heart... do not harden it. Jesus said those that are willing to do the will of God in their life would know that his words are from God.
MiA: A Buddhist once said look onto all of mankind ignore the differences within embrace them as your brothers and you will want for no more.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: yes he did. Buddha said that
( Actually Buddha did not say that. My mother was the one that said that. It was something she learned as a result of being a Buddhist and taught it to me.)
CitiZeN Of ZioN: but Buddha... did not pay the price for all the wrong you had committed in your life. Jesus Christ did. Mohammed... killed people cuz they did not want to join his belief which is still happenin' today.
MiA: I’m not going to get into all of the atrocities that were committed in the name of religion by religions against each other. You as a theology student should know this already. What I am going to tell you is this when Jesus was getting nailed to the cross they didn’t tell him "we’re killing you for sins of the world." That mantra was picked up after he died in order to win converts over. Jesus was killed b/c he claimed to be the son of God which offended the religious leaders of his time. Jesus contradicted their teachings and he pointed out their hypocrisy. People were turning away from what they had been taught all their lives to follow him. The politics of religion at the time were not happy with that. They were not going to allow it. That is why Jesus was bought and paid for with silver, that’s why he was beaten the way he was, paraded through the streets and in an act of final degradation crucified in a public place. His murder was a warning to other potential heretics. All of that was politics. The politics of religion.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: That’s not the truth. The new testament was written by eyewitnesses of Jesus.... and tells the truth about why they killed him.... his life story is in there....
MiA: the New Testament was written by men period and men have a way of shaping stories to give credence to their agendas.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: religion, politics, jealousy is what killed religion.... cuz the Lord expose them to who they really are. is what killed Jesus* It was all according to God's plan of salvation for the world.
MiA: Look I am not saying that Jesus was not a great man worthy of followers. On the contrary, his teachings have been admired and recalled by many of the world’s prophets that came after him. I admire his teachings; I adhere to his principles and try to apply them to my own life.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: think about it... either Jesus was the son of God or a bogus prophet.
MiA: Why does he have to be one or the other? You’re basically telling me that if he was only a prophet and not the son of God then his message is not a worthy one. So tell me who really understands spirituality here? The psychology student who opens her heart to God’s message regardless of the messenger’s station in life or the theology student who only believes the message if the messenger is the son of God? Where’s the unconditional love that I hear so much about from your kind? Whether or not Immaculate Conception comes into play aren’t we all God’s children? See this is why I can not get into an organized religion, it’s too close minded. Jesus was a prophet for some and the son of god to others…accept it and move on...don’t try to bend a persons will to your own because you can not tolerate views other than your own
CitiZeN Of ZioN: you see what am sayin'.....
MiA : what do u believe in your heart?
CitiZeN Of ZioN: Mia... is not what I believe is what I know. everyone believe in God... even the devil believe that but does not obey. there's only one name from heaven that the world can be saved... and that Jesus Christ. I know he is the way. I am forgiven.
MiA: I’m happy for you that you’ve been forgiven because it seems to have given you peace at a time when you needed it.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: and you could be to... and God can prove that to you. Supernaturally.
MiA: I have nothing to be forgiven for and I am at peace.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: Do you have faith in God?
MiA : my path was decided from the day I was born
CitiZeN Of ZioN: by who?
MiA: God, Karma, the three stooges Larry, Curly, Moe, and Shemp the brother no one really talks about. Whoever is in charge of these things.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: Do you have faith in God? answer my question please.... do you have faith in God?
CitiZeN Of ZioN : Do you believe that he could do all things?
CitiZeN Of ZioN: yes or no
CitiZeN Of ZioN: yes or no
CitiZeN Of ZioN: answer the question Mia
MiA: What are you watching Law & Order? I did answer, twice already.
( WTF? Am I on trial here? I sense he’s getting kind or irked with me.)
CitiZeN Of ZioN: yes or no
MiA: I said yes
CitiZeN Of ZioN: please have faith that God is using me to get your attention.... he wants to prove himself to you.
MiA: Or God is using me to get your attention. To make you understand that you need to be respectful and tolerant of the spiritual beliefs of others
CitiZeN Of ZioN: That's impossible.
MiA: why is it impossible?
CitiZeN Of ZioN: You really think God is tolerate of every other belief that is out there?
MiA: yes I do.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: I know who God is. He walks with me... talks to me....
MiA: Tell her I said wassup!
CitiZeN Of ZioN: disciplines me like a Father that he is.
MiA: When you’re being judgmental and intolerant towards the religious beliefs of others does he give you a time out… take away your internet privileges ? Look when all is said and done we are worshipping the same god
CitiZeN Of ZioN: no we not. there is only one God. we can not live in peace if we do not have peace with God .Open your heart to Jesus... remember he's alive ,let him in... and watch he proves himself to you. supernaturally.
MiA: my heart has been open to Jesus since the day i was born as it was for Mohammed and the rest of the crew. Here’s where you and I differ. I don’t need God to prove herself to me. I know she exists because my heart tells me so. I don’t need the tangible.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: would you like to witness God's manifestation in your life?
MiA: I already have.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: no I mean... supernaturally.
MiA: Look you don’t know my story or where my faith comes from. Whether you choose to accept it or no I am one of God’s miracles and my life is a manifestation of her will.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: God has a purpose for your life ... your avoiding it.
MiA: Why do say think that, because I am not sitting in a church professing my love for God as I judge those whose views differ from mine?
CitiZeN Of ZioN: You know God is Holy... meaning separate from this world.... he can not tolerate sin....
MiA: So far all you’re telling me is that the God you worship is really intolerant. He rules through fear and intimidation. What the flup?! Is he’s down with the mob? Is his last name Gotti or Soprano? Look I am not deaf to what you’re saying. All I am saying is that we just have different paths we follow.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: Mia... I am happy we have this discussion... because if we were not different... we would not learn.
MiA: my point exactly.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: I am learning a lot in the past hour. I know you are too
(I’m learning to take my profile off of AOL that’s what I’m learning)
CitiZeN Of ZioN: I realized a lot about you. your a cool person. I like you.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: we can agree to be differ but there is still only one way to heaven and thats through Jesus.
MiA: and that’s what is right for you not me
CitiZeN Of ZioN: what are you doin' tomorrow?
MiA: I’m going to my aunts house
CitiZeN Of ZioN: time?
CitiZeN Of ZioN: I wanna invite you somewhere.
MiA: I don’t meet people off aol
CitiZeN Of ZioN: The Brooklyn Tabernacle - Welcome!
CitiZeN Of ZioN: that's fine.
MiA: thank you very much for the invitation to your church though.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: I am not thinkin' about you... am worried about your soul.
MiA: My soul is part of the package that is me. My soul is not in danger but thank you very much for caring. Didn’t we just agree that everyone is different?
CitiZeN Of ZioN: yes we did. you know what i realize.... that your heart is Hard... did you realize that?
(Really? That’s the first time I hear that. Usually people say I am soft hearted. However I’ve been hearing that my head is hard all my life.)
MiA: Why do you say my heart is hard? Is it because I won’t be swayed by your words? My heart is not hard. It’s just that I’ve already found my path. I believe in my path, I have faith in my path. I’ve embraced my path and no one can take me away from the path I have chosen for myself. Just as no one should be able to take you away from yours it that’s what is meant to be.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: not at all... you should come to the church and witness God's glory.
MiA: I don’t need to be in a church to see her glory. I’ve seen her glory.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: His presence.
MiA: I am in her presence every day.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: I hear that. remember... God knows your heart and every thought and emotions.
MiA: yes she does and that is why I know I will be fine
CitiZeN Of ZioN: you do not know.
MiA: Well I am 99.9% sure. Let me ask you something. Why is it that that throughout this whole conversation you are the only one that is sure of anything and knows things? You have attempted to debunk everything I profess to know in my heart. I don’t need to believe what you believe in order to be close to God.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: because it is the truth... and the truth shall set you free.
MiA: That is your truth. It works for you. It’s a beautiful thing that your truth brings you closer to your God. But your truth is not mine.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: Mia please listen to me open your heart. The truth shall set you free
MiA: I’m not a prisoner. I don’t need to be set free.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: your a prisoner once you were born.
MiA: Again your belief not mines. Maybe you were born with shackles. I wasn’t. Shackles are something that we ourselves take on in life.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: cast yourself out yourself.... get your mind off of you.
( I think he’s trying to do an exorcism on me!)
CitiZeN Of ZioN: we are prisoners to sin. you know that its not religion its reality there's no such thing as absolute freedom
MiA: Again that’s your opinion. You needed to be saved for a reason. You were lost and you weren’t free right?
CitiZeN Of ZioN: exactly
MiA: But check this out that is not my life. If you ask me you’re still a prisoner… to intolerance. I am not imprisoned. You attempt to judge me by the person you once were. I have never walked in your shoes so I don’t know what made you the way you are. You have not walked in mine, our life experiences are different. You can never possibly understand who I am or where my serenity comes from and that’s okay because you weren’t meant to. I am someone totally different from you. I’ve always been at peace with myself it was a gift given to me in this life.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: and to say that you are not trapped in sin... you are wrong... deep in your heart. you know what I am sayin' has truth in it.... but your not yielding. that's why I say your heart is hard.
MiA : Of course I am wrong. In your eyes you are the only one that is right about anything but let’s be real here you say my heart is hard because I refuse to follow your path. If I were to accept your message and cast aside all that I have been taught and all that I believe in and follow you then you’d consider me to be good. To be honest with you I don’t care if you think I am good or not. When my time here is over it is not to you that I will answer to. My last worldly thoughts will not be of you or if I fit your criteria of what a good person should be.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: you refuse to receive the truth.
MiA: No it’s you who refuses to receive the truth. The truth is our paths are different. It does not make one better than the other just different. You say you’re concerned over my soul and I thank you for your concern over my soul but it’s doing just fine thank you.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: your funny... you sound like a little girl... cute.
MiA : Wow that’s amazing, because I don’t allow myself to be swayed by you now you consider me a child? When we started this conversation I was in your words “a patient, intellectual female” no mention of being a child there. Now I am a child. Talk about a complete turn around.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: no no no please.... please... no attitude. am sayin' what you just said was cute.
MiA: I’m not mad. I have an infinite amount of patience.
CitiZeN Of ZioN: Good
MiA: Let me get this straight though okay?
CitiZeN Of ZioN : okay.
(Next up at bat Mia...she walks to the plate…touches her bat to the ground… looks into the bleachers at the fans…she winks and points to the sky…. She assumes her batting stance… cocks her head to the side…the pitcher throws the ball…. Mia swings….)
MiA : My rhetoric makes me sound cute... Young like a little girl. Like a child, a little child? Is that what you’re saying I’m like a little child?
CitiZeN Of ZioN : Yes exactly like a little child !
MiA: Well doesn’t your bible say, “And a little Child shall lead them.”?
(Mia’s bat connects… “CRACK!” the bat breaks in half…the ball sails over the stands out of the ballpark. It’s a home run! It’s a home run! The crowd goes wild. Mia tips her hat to all of the fans as she leisurely circles the bases.)
After that C.O.Z didn’t have anything else to say and our convo ended.
C.O.Z if you’re reading this… even though our paths are different I still respect your devotion to your faith…man you gave it your best shot there’s no shame in that. This song is for you….
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3 comment from: christina/ohio, Mia, Mia,
Saturday, September 02, 2006Oops My Bad!
After drinking water all morning I was in desperate need of the facilities before class. I rushed to the nearest bathroom without stopping to look at the sign on the door. As soon as I walked in I noticed the guy standing next to the sink. At first I thought I had mistakenly ran into the men’s bathroom. I did a quick eye sweep and noticed there were no urinals. Okay I wasn’t in the men’s room. Therefore there was only one other conclusion that could be drawn. There was a man in the girl’s bathroom. The guy gave me a big kool aid smile. I returned the smile with the death stare. You know the stare a person gives when you’ve invaded their privacy by reading their email or chat convos over their shoulders? WTF?! These aren’t coed bathrooms I thought to myself. Finally the dude left without saying a word.
A couple of hours later I bump into the same guy on my way to another class. It turned out that he wasn’t a guy. He was actually a flat chested chick with a shaved head. Oops my bad. I feel so special now.
Labels: Embarassing Moments
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5 comment from: DiiGMaa, Mica, Aisha, Jane, Mia,
Friday, September 01, 2006Papillona Sky's September Tag
It’s that time of the month again (NO NOT THAT TIME!) it’s time for Papillona Sky’s monthly Post. A. No. Secret. Tag.
Here’s the run down:
1. Post it on your blog or just Email it to Papillona Sky.
2. Link it to POST.A.NO.SECRET blog.
3. Revealing your identity is optional
Be careful not to share any information you wouldn't want the world to see.
This is my POST.A.NO.SECRET contribution for the month of September.
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2 comment from: Papillona ®, Tarek,