Mia: Shaken Not Stirred

The true life stories of a NYC female.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Twinkies and Ramadan

I know that Ramadan is supposed to be a time of reflection etc for my Muslim friends but I also know from experience that it can be a also a time of extreme crankiness. Not everyone can handle the fasting experience with grace especially when they’ve just quit smoking. My uncle had quit his 4 pack a day smoking habit several weeks before Ramadan. My aunt in a show of solidarity and encouragement quit smoking too. They weren’t handling it well at all but he was actually handling it worse than she was. He had been substituting food for nicotine and then Ramadan came along and all hell broke loose.

My aunt was cooking dinner and on the phone with my mom who was on her way over there when my uncle walked in. He was in an ultra cranky mood and snapped at her for no reason. She snapped back and they started bickering back and forth while my mom was on the phone.

Mom: Take a deep breath hun. He’s cranky; you’re both cranky it’s the nicotine and food withdrawl. You know nicotine is a drug and he was using food as his crutch and now that’s gone now too.

Nora: I know Mags I know but he’s getting on my nerves. I’m trying to be patient but you better get here soon because I’m not sure if he’s gonna be allowed to live beyond this week.

Mom: Well try not to kill him today violence is not the answer plus killing your hubby during Ramadan is not gonna go down to well with the Imam that’s coming over tonight. I’ll be there soon. I just gotta make a quick stop.

thirty minutes later the sun was setting, the dinner guests were arriving and my mom is still not there. They became worried and called her up

Nora: Woman where are you? The sun went down.

Mom: I know. I’m down the block sitting on a car. I’m going to leave now.

Nora: What?! Why didn’t you come up to the house?

Mom: I was waiting for the sun to set. You guys were scaring the crap out of me with your nicotine and food withdrawals. Tell Hassan to come to the door, I’m hanging up now.

just then the door bell rings my uncle opens it and my mom is standing on the other side with a couple of Twinkies in her free hand. He moves towards to her to kiss her and she stops him with her hand on his chest

Mom: Shhhh don’t say nada papa open your mouth.

uncle Hassan opened his mouth as instructed. Mom shoved the Twinkie in his mouth. She then walked towards Nora and gently placed the remaining Twinkie in her mouth.

Mom: Both of you eat those damn Twinkies and don’t say a word to me or to each other until the sugar rush kicks in. Made me so scared I had to wait until the sun went down to enter the house. I should slap the Melokiyah out of both of you.

with that she went into the living room and greeted the rest of the family who were clapping and laughing hysterically over what had just happened. To this day whenever Ramadan rolls around my mother carries a pack of Twinkies in her purse just in case my aunt and uncle spazz out again.

Never underestimate the power of a Twinkie during Ramadan.

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