Thursday, August 31, 2006
Butterfly
 I was riding the subway to school this morning when several Boriqua teenaged girls caught my attention. Two of the girls looked like ghettofab video vixens in their gauchos, way too low tops and espadrilles. Totally inappropriate for the Noah’s Ark weather we’ve been having. Their gold jewelry accented their gorgeous tan complexions. Every spiral curl was perfectly formed and in place despite the rainy and windy day. The fact that they took great pains to apply eye shadow and kohl eyeliner around their amber colored eyes showed. Their make up was flawless. They were beautiful and they knew it. They had the look of confidence and pride that went with knowing that as they stood in the middle of the subway car all eyes were on them. The third girl sitting across from where they were standing hadn’t quite blossomed yet. Her skin was pale, her eyebrows needed to be done but she had nice features. Her pretty long hair was pulled back in a pony tail which made perfect sense considering the weather. In short she was a plain Jane with potential. It was obvious she was still at that self conscious stage of her teens, insecure about her appearance. I could tell what she was thinking just by her expressions and her body language. She stared at the girls in front of her. She seemed in awe of them as if that’s what she wanted to look like, that’s how she wanted to dress. Then I saw her catch a glance of herself in the subway window. She was not happy with what she saw. She hung her head down almost ashamed to look at the other girls but she did and once again I could see her comparing herself to them. She avoided glancing at her reflection again. My heart ached for her. Once upon a time I was her. I wanted to hug her and tell her it was okay, her time to shine would come. I wanted to tell her that what she was looking at was the result of hours of fussing and primping. I wanted to tell her that true beauty came from within but that’s something she'll learn on her own. Most of all I wanted to stand her up before her reflection in the glass again and point out all that was beautiful about her. I wanted to tell her that once upon a time I too had been a caterpillar. I wanted to promise that soon she’d emerge from her cocoon a beautiful butterfly but I said nothing. Instead I watched her until my stop came up and here I sit the day almost over and I am unable to get that girl out of my head.
Labels: advice, new york, subway stories
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1:17 AM
3 comment from: Goggles Piasano Ritardo, Emory Mayne, Just Jane,
 
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
It's hard work being a woman...
I was having a convo with a male friend about superficiality. He seems to feel that women as a rule are superficial creatures. The reason we touched on the subject was because he was telling me about a friend of his who is a 21 year old virgin. Wait, wait! Before you roll your eyes at me you’ve got to realize that here in NYC in the hip hop culture of b-boys and gangsta wannabe’s finding a male 21 year old virgin is akin to finding an unused bong in a room full of stoners. It is amazing…it is a miracle…right up there with 3 wise men hauling ass on camels to check out a baby allegedly born of immaculate conception in a manger. Crap like that doesn’t happen every day. Well at least no one admits to it every day.
See this is where superficiality issue comes. The guy wants a trophy girl, you know the type with a cover girl face and a playboy body. The problem is that those girls are not attracted to him. My friend seemed offended that the playboy model type chicks were not attracted to his friend. That's when he said females were superficial.
Mia: Are you serious? Are you insane? What do you mean they are superficial? It’s your friend that’s being superficial. There are girls out there that don’t care if he has more boobs than them yet he passes them over because they are not pretty enough, not tight enough. Come on man who’s the superficial one here?
His friend reminded me of a couple of male friends of mine as well. One is a 30 plus year old guy he is charasmatic, smart, witty, funny, good lord he is funny. He also happens to be a short dumbo eared little dude who is superficial as all hell. I’ve known him ever since I was a teenager so I can say this about him and know that what I’m saying is not an exaggeration. Because of his personality women are drawn to him like flies to a pile crap on a hot August day. The problem is that unless the woman looks like a porn star he doesn’t want to holla at her. The one time when a woman fit his criteria and returned his feelings she turned out to be a psycho. She scared him, hell she scared all of us. She was not just bite your nails scary. She was look over your shoulder take out a restraining order and hire yourself an armed bodyguard on steroids type of scary. You know the kind that comes at you with a knife waving it wildly in the air mascara and eye liner running down her face while a big snot bubble pops in and out of her left nostril as she yells, “ Why won’t you love meeeee?, why won't you love me? ” over and over again.
Friend: You can’t front women are superficial.
Mia: Some women are superficial. Heck it’s hard being a woman. You guys have it mad easy. You get up brush your teeth comb your hair and throw on a shirt and some jeans. Ironing the stuff is optional. As long as you bathe and your clothes don’t have any crusty stains your good to go. You approach a woman and if your game is tight bang! You cop her number.
It’s not that simple for a chick. Women have to pluck, wax, moisturize, exfoliate, spritz, and curl all with the hope of catching some guys eye. Women are expected to look like fresh and new 24 -07. That stuff is exhausting man. Not to mention control top panties, girdles, the heels, the bras that push up, and shape the lady lumps. Mind you all of this is done to attract male attention . It is exhausting being a woman!
Friend: See so they are superficial. Men aren’t like that.
Mia:What are you high? Put the crack pipe down son! Who do you think objectifies women into sexual objects in the first place? Are you telling me you prefer the slightly pudgy plain jane librarian over the playboy centerfold?
Friend: No! What about you?
Mia: Dude I’m not into women.
Friend: NO stupid. What about you. Are you superficial?
Mia: Honestly no. I have dated men that have been positively gorgeous and I've also dated guys with faces only their mamas could love. My thing is this, I am attracted to a man by his personality. His ability to make me laugh, to hold a stimulating conversation. You know stuff we have in common, everything else is just icing on the cake.
Friend:So you’re telling me you don’t hook yourself up to attract the guys?
Mia: Na man, personally I don’t give a fluff if guys find me banging or not. I don’t put my body on display to attract male attention. I dress for me, for my comfort.
Friend: But you do your hair and make up don’t you? That’s superficial stuff.
Mia: I do my hair for me because I have curly hair;and you know you don’t wanna ever leave your house looking like Tina Turner. The stuck my finger in an electrical socket look only works for her. That look on the general public tends to scare children and attract small woodland creatures looking for a home. Make up? Oh hell no. Make up to me is like liquor I enjoy it occasionally it’s not an everyday thing. Some females get up at the crack of dawn to throw on their war paint (makeup) before going out into the world just to attract male attention. Others just look like the Avon lady exploded in their face. They think more makeup is the key to beauty.
Friend: See what you’re saying? On some level the world is superficial.
Mia: Maybe, but you know what? The world would be a much better place if people would look beyond the superficial. Take time to know the person inside. Booya beeotch!Labels: Men, relationships, superficial
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2:30 AM
5 comment from: Wendy aka Cheeky, Nooni, Mia, Just Jane, Kevin Mathison,
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Future cat lady...
Ever since I was a little Mia my momma has told me that I am special; that I am unique there’s no one else in the world like me. I thought that was just her medication and her maternal pride talking. I mean really what is she going to say, “Mia you’re a dime a dozen, “ una to’ tenemos” (everyone has one) chick? Of course not! It’s her job as my beloved mommy to gas my head up and puff up my young tender and fragile ego beyond all comprehension so that one day I will have the necessary confidence in myself to pack up and leave the nest! It turns out that the people at Eharmony.com agree with my mother.
One of their commercials sparked a discussion of match making methods old and new between mom and me. We spoke about how the internet and match making websites seem to be giving the old fashioned match makers a run for their money. People today seem more comfortable making connections via the internet rather than going out and meeting people. I think that the habit is affecting this generations social skills but that’s a post for another day. Today’s post is on the possibility of me being a future cat lady,of always being the bridesmaid and never the bride. Not that I am looking to be the bride at the moment by the way. I’ve still got that list of stuff I gotta do before I settle down.
Armed with some free time I logged onto my laptop. Didn't you see my logo at the top? You thought I was joking about that? and a boat load of curiosity I headed over to Eharmony.com I wanted to check out how their scientific method worked. Their commercials raved about their success rate. Well all I can say is this… people I have seen my future and it ain’t pretty. You know that crazy lady that lives in your neighborhood the that talks to herself and smells like tuna fish and has like 100 cats living in her house? That’s me.
I filled out something called a Compatibility Profile. It's a questionnaire with about a bazillion and one questions. They ask you everything but the color undergarments you’re wearing at the time you’re filling out the questionnaire. I was rocking The Muppets own Fozzy Bear (woka woka!)undies just in your mind went there. The questionnaire is meant to gage your personality type etc and find a person on their site who matches your score and that’s how they hook you up. According to Eharmony.com a site that has a couple of million registered members by the way, there was not one freaking person on their site at that moment that was a match for me. They invited me to come back and fill out another long ass questionnaire at a future date, which I never did because my curiosity about their methods had been satisfied. Well until today that is when I had a bit of writer’s block and was looking for some inspiration.
Okay so it’s been like 10 months since my initial visit. Surely they had someone was a match for me now right? Don’t hold your breath in anticipation buddy I wouldn’t want you to pass out from lack of oxygen. There was no one,I repeat there was STILL no one. WTF?! I know I was incredulous too! Shocked and amazed even. Listen up people I am so unique that an online dating service has no one for me. Wow. I don’t know whether to be insulted or flattered. Stuff like this can send a lesser person straight to a therapist’s couch.
On the plus side they were nice enough to give me Mia's Compatibility Profile® Summary which in a nut shell details
“the most important characteristics revealed by your eHarmony Compatibility Profile that you should keep in mind as you search for your ideal mate” So dear reader if you feel like checking out and know someone who is single who fits the bill have them meet me at least 10 years from now…we’ll do lunch. In the mean time I am too busy lovin’ life…I guess my mama was right I do march to the beat of a different drummer. Anyone care to dance?
Off topic this song’s for The Don…because JUST when I’d gotten it out of my head he put it back in…
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Goggles Piasano Ritardo, 
