Mia: Shaken Not Stirred

The true life stories of a NYC female.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Women can be such masochists at times

It was late when the phone rang and it kind of startled me….

Mia: Hello…

Voice:: On:: Phone: Mia?!

Mia: (imitating Spanish accent) Jes?

VOP: My father WAHHHHHHHH SOB in the hospital! Mumble..mumble…emergency room…mumble…sob…mumble WAHHHHHHH!

The voice on the phone was hysterical. I could barely make out what she was saying between her sobbing and mumbling. One should never attempt to talk and cry at the same time it’s a no-no big time. I had no idea who she was.

Mia: Who is this?

VOP: It’s me G!

Mia: G slow down take a deep breath…what’s going on? Are you okay?

my friend’s dad had been taken to the hospital emergency room with chest pains. His wife thought he might be having a heart attack. Personally I’m not fond of her father. He makes me feel really uncomfortable. Father’s should never leer at their daughter’s friends that’s just damn wrong and pervy.

Despite her father being a creep I had to sympathize with G’s drama because after all dysfunctional creep or not he is her dad and she loves him. I managed to calm her down and get the story. Now I wish I hadn’t because I’m certainly condemned to purgatory for all the jokes that ran through my head. You’ll be happy to know that for once in my life I kept my smart assed comments to myself. I must be growing up.

It seems G’s dad had taken a Viagra before going to visit his girl friend earlier in the day. He had an erection that wouldn’t go down and it had been over 8 hours. The raging boner was now causing him pain and the stress of it all was making his blood pressure go up. The problem with a prolonged erection aside from the pain it causes is the fact that if left untreated it could cause penile tissue damage and permanent impotency. I imagine that’s what had the horn ball so stressed out.

Now maybe it’s just me but umm excuse me If it had been my husband I would’ve gone into my closet and put on a pair of steel tipped toe boots and kicked him as hard as I could in the aforementioned stiffy. Then I would’ve dragged his ass out onto the street and told him to call his lover to come and take his butt to the hospital because I wasn’t taking him anywhere nor was I going to call an ambulance. As a matter of fact he could go stand outside on the corner and use his erect member to hail a cab to take him to the hospital.

Now the part that just flipping amazed me was the fact that his wife and daughters were in the hospital at his bedside…. The mental image was just too much for me…his wife and their daughters boo hooing away as they kept the watch on “Boner 2006.” Good grief women can be such masochists at times. Hopefully one day his wife will wake the heck up.

This song is for them... “It’s a Thin Line Between Love and Hate” by The Delfonics….

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Posted by @ 2:00 PM
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