Mia: Shaken Not Stirred


The true life stories of a NYC female.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Future cat lady...



Ever since I was a little Mia my momma has told me that I am special; that I am unique there’s no one else in the world like me. I thought that was just her medication and her maternal pride talking. I mean really what is she going to say, “Mia you’re a dime a dozen, “ una to’ tenemos” (everyone has one) chick? Of course not! It’s her job as my beloved mommy to gas my head up and puff up my young tender and fragile ego beyond all comprehension so that one day I will have the necessary confidence in myself to pack up and leave the nest! It turns out that the people at Eharmony.com agree with my mother.

One of their commercials sparked a discussion of match making methods old and new between mom and me. We spoke about how the internet and match making websites seem to be giving the old fashioned match makers a run for their money. People today seem more comfortable making connections via the internet rather than going out and meeting people. I think that the habit is affecting this generations social skills but that’s a post for another day. Today’s post is on the possibility of me being a future cat lady,of always being the bridesmaid and never the bride. Not that I am looking to be the bride at the moment by the way. I’ve still got that list of stuff I gotta do before I settle down.

Armed with some free time I logged onto my laptop. Didn't you see my logo at the top? You thought I was joking about that? and a boat load of curiosity I headed over to Eharmony.com I wanted to check out how their scientific method worked. Their commercials raved about their success rate. Well all I can say is this… people I have seen my future and it ain’t pretty. You know that crazy lady that lives in your neighborhood the that talks to herself and smells like tuna fish and has like 100 cats living in her house? That’s me.

I filled out something called a Compatibility Profile. It's a questionnaire with about a bazillion and one questions. They ask you everything but the color undergarments you’re wearing at the time you’re filling out the questionnaire. I was rocking The Muppets own Fozzy Bear (woka woka!)undies just in your mind went there. The questionnaire is meant to gage your personality type etc and find a person on their site who matches your score and that’s how they hook you up. According to Eharmony.com a site that has a couple of million registered members by the way, there was not one freaking person on their site at that moment that was a match for me. They invited me to come back and fill out another long ass questionnaire at a future date, which I never did because my curiosity about their methods had been satisfied. Well until today that is when I had a bit of writer’s block and was looking for some inspiration.

Okay so it’s been like 10 months since my initial visit. Surely they had someone was a match for me now right? Don’t hold your breath in anticipation buddy I wouldn’t want you to pass out from lack of oxygen. There was no one,I repeat there was STILL no one. WTF?! I know I was incredulous too! Shocked and amazed even. Listen up people I am so unique that an online dating service has no one for me. Wow. I don’t know whether to be insulted or flattered. Stuff like this can send a lesser person straight to a therapist’s couch.

On the plus side they were nice enough to give me Mia's Compatibility Profile® Summary which in a nut shell details
“the most important characteristics revealed by your eHarmony Compatibility Profile that you should keep in mind as you search for your ideal mate”
So dear reader if you feel like checking out and know someone who is single who fits the bill have them meet me at least 10 years from now…we’ll do lunch. In the mean time I am too busy lovin’ life…I guess my mama was right I do march to the beat of a different drummer. Anyone care to dance?

Off topic this song’s for The Don…because JUST when I’d gotten it out of my head he put it back in…


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Posted by @ 2:18 AM
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