Thursday, March 23, 2006

As soon as Paris Hilton becomes a cloistered nun


A few days ago (read about him here and here ) a former boyfriend contacted me to tell me he was now a father. After I broke up with him he started dating a 15 yr old in an attempt to make me jealous and woo me back. Needless to say it no worky. It actually back fired because prior to dumping him I’d just thought he was an asshole now repulsive pervert was added to the mix. Why does a 20 something year old want to date a 15 year old is beyond me, it’s just so wrong it screams of pedophilia and jail time. Anyway it seems he had a baby with the teenager and wanted to let me know. He asked if I had any kids …hold on let me check my purse, no dude, no kids here. Thank you very much or if I was seeing someone Yes I am was I planning on getting married anytime soon? Yes, as soon as Paris Hilton becomes a cloistered nun. I had forgotten that he had asked me to marry him a couple of times. He had even asked me to move in with him. Man must be out of his mind hasn't he read my list?! He seemed to lose his desire for conversation after that , I wished him and his new family well and told him to stay away from school yards.


I am 23 years old as are the majority of my friends unlike them however marriage is far from my mind. These days it seems all of my friends are having babies, moving in with their significant others or moving away from home. Personally I’m in no hurry to leave home. I like it here; the conversations are lively, the food’s great and the company’s better. I’ve got a lot of things to do before I settle down and get married.

Some of things to do before I get married

•Join Peace Corps after completing Masters Degree.

• Travel the world and the seven seas: Because as The Eurthymics are fond of saying, "sweet dreams are made of these."

•Dance underneath the full moon and stars of wherever my travels take me

•Answer the question that has plagued mankind for decades:Exactly how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

•Learn how to pluck/wax my own eyebrows: I get them done professionally I’m scared if I do it myself I’ll walk around looking perpetually surprised.

•Learn how to cook some grown up meals:: Breakfast can’t always be dinner and even though microwaves are a non-cooks best friend eventually I’m going to have to feed people serious meals. I can make little things here and there but for the more complicated stuff I need my mommy.

•Learn how to walk in stilettos heels: I love the look of the shoe but cannot walk in them. I feel like I’m going to fall off, chunky heels I can manage but stilettos make me break out in a cold sweat. I blame it on being a tomboy during my formative years. I can’t walk in heels for shit but I can throw the hell out of a football and don't even attempt to take me on in volley ball and tennis it is so on.

•Get over my fear of roaches, waterbugs and big ass flying insects: No need to elaborate, I’m the one cowering in the corner screaming like a bee-otch.

•Learn how to apply liquid eyeliner: It brings out my eyes, but takes skill which I seem to be lacking.

• Find a pair of jeans that fit me without having to hem them: I'm short and like Martin Luther King Jr. I too have a dream.

•Figure out why blogger acts like it’s on crack: I’ve been having a wee bit of a problem with blogger lately and it seems I’m not the only one.

Labels: about me

Posted by @ 10:30 AM
8 comment from:  Goggles Piasano Ritardo,  Aisha,  Mica,  Mr. Khurram,  Mia,  Emory Mayne,  Mia,  sadiq,