Mia: Shaken Not Stirred

The true life stories of a NYC female.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

It's hard work being a woman...

I was having a convo with a male friend about superficiality. He seems to feel that women as a rule are superficial creatures. The reason we touched on the subject was because he was telling me about a friend of his who is a 21 year old virgin. Wait, wait! Before you roll your eyes at me you’ve got to realize that here in NYC in the hip hop culture of b-boys and gangsta wannabe’s finding a male 21 year old virgin is akin to finding an unused bong in a room full of stoners. It is amazing…it is a miracle…right up there with 3 wise men hauling ass on camels to check out a baby allegedly born of immaculate conception in a manger. Crap like that doesn’t happen every day. Well at least no one admits to it every day.

See this is where superficiality issue comes. The guy wants a trophy girl, you know the type with a cover girl face and a playboy body. The problem is that those girls are not attracted to him. My friend seemed offended that the playboy model type chicks were not attracted to his friend. That's when he said females were superficial.

Mia: Are you serious? Are you insane? What do you mean they are superficial? It’s your friend that’s being superficial. There are girls out there that don’t care if he has more boobs than them yet he passes them over because they are not pretty enough, not tight enough. Come on man who’s the superficial one here?

His friend reminded me of a couple of male friends of mine as well. One is a 30 plus year old guy he is charasmatic, smart, witty, funny, good lord he is funny. He also happens to be a short dumbo eared little dude who is superficial as all hell. I’ve known him ever since I was a teenager so I can say this about him and know that what I’m saying is not an exaggeration. Because of his personality women are drawn to him like flies to a pile crap on a hot August day. The problem is that unless the woman looks like a porn star he doesn’t want to holla at her. The one time when a woman fit his criteria and returned his feelings she turned out to be a psycho. She scared him, hell she scared all of us. She was not just bite your nails scary. She was look over your shoulder take out a restraining order and hire yourself an armed bodyguard on steroids type of scary. You know the kind that comes at you with a knife waving it wildly in the air mascara and eye liner running down her face while a big snot bubble pops in and out of her left nostril as she yells, “ Why won’t you love meeeee?, why won't you love me? ” over and over again.

Friend: You can’t front women are superficial.

Mia: Some women are superficial. Heck it’s hard being a woman. You guys have it mad easy. You get up brush your teeth comb your hair and throw on a shirt and some jeans. Ironing the stuff is optional. As long as you bathe and your clothes don’t have any crusty stains your good to go. You approach a woman and if your game is tight bang! You cop her number.

It’s not that simple for a chick. Women have to pluck, wax, moisturize, exfoliate, spritz, and curl all with the hope of catching some guys eye. Women are expected to look like fresh and new 24 -07. That stuff is exhausting man. Not to mention control top panties, girdles, the heels, the bras that push up, and shape the lady lumps. Mind you all of this is done to attract male attention . It is exhausting being a woman!

Friend: See so they are superficial. Men aren’t like that.

Mia:What are you high? Put the crack pipe down son! Who do you think objectifies women into sexual objects in the first place? Are you telling me you prefer the slightly pudgy plain jane librarian over the playboy centerfold?

Friend: No! What about you?

Mia: Dude I’m not into women.

Friend: NO stupid. What about you. Are you superficial?

Mia: Honestly no. I have dated men that have been positively gorgeous and I've also dated guys with faces only their mamas could love. My thing is this, I am attracted to a man by his personality. His ability to make me laugh, to hold a stimulating conversation. You know stuff we have in common, everything else is just icing on the cake.

Friend:So you’re telling me you don’t hook yourself up to attract the guys?

Mia: Na man, personally I don’t give a fluff if guys find me banging or not. I don’t put my body on display to attract male attention. I dress for me, for my comfort.

Friend: But you do your hair and make up don’t you? That’s superficial stuff.

Mia: I do my hair for me because I have curly hair;and you know you don’t wanna ever leave your house looking like Tina Turner. The stuck my finger in an electrical socket look only works for her. That look on the general public tends to scare children and attract small woodland creatures looking for a home. Make up? Oh hell no. Make up to me is like liquor I enjoy it occasionally it’s not an everyday thing. Some females get up at the crack of dawn to throw on their war paint (makeup) before going out into the world just to attract male attention. Others just look like the Avon lady exploded in their face. They think more makeup is the key to beauty.

Friend: See what you’re saying? On some level the world is superficial.

Mia: Maybe, but you know what? The world would be a much better place if people would look beyond the superficial. Take time to know the person inside. Booya beeotch!

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Posted by @ 2:30 AM
5 comment from: Blogger Charlotte, Blogger Cheeky, Blogger Judy Abbott, Blogger Mia, Blogger Jane,