Mia: Shaken Not Stirred

The true life stories of a NYC female.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Ain’t that a bitch?

(Stained Glass Window at St. Jerome's Church Bronx NY)

The elevator stopped to pick up a passenger and my mother started scooting to the side to allow the blind man enough room to maneuver himself into the small elevator. As he made his way in he accidently clocked her with his cane. He quickly apologized when he heard mom hiss in pain.

When we reached the lobby the blind man got out first and after holding the elevator door open for mom he walked off in the opposite direction of the exit and into a wall. We looked back when we heard the thud of his body crashing into the wall. Mom was about to ask if he needed help when he muttered “Fucking shit! Ain’t that a bitch?” under his breath as he straightened himself out. “Good thing that lady didn’t see me.” My mom shook her head at me and placed a finger on her lips before pulling me out the door with her. Only when we were a safe distance away from the man did we both laugh. My father looked at us and we quickly explained what had happened.

“Both of you are so wrong" he said,"especially when you consider we just came from church.” I stared at my dad, “that’s nothing pa ma said ah fuck in church.” My dad arched his eyebrow at her only to get a sheepish smile in return. “Mia said shit right underneath one of the Stations of the Cross!” she countered. Yes it is true I did say shit in church but it was a natural reaction to banging my knee on one of the pews as I angled for a camera shot of a stained glass window.

My dad narrowed his eyes at me and wiped his hand over his face.“What am I going to do with the two of you? You know you’re going to straight to hell don’t you?” My mom and I looked at each other and once again in unison said,“Fucking shit! Ain’t that a bitch?”


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