Mia: Shaken Not Stirred


The true life stories of a NYC female.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

That's No Way To Win Friends and Influence People


I’d gone to the biker bar as a favor to Guay to keep her company while she got her wrist tattooed. Mike,the guy that does my tats owns the bar and on certain nights he inks from the apartment over the bar. Guay and I were on our way up the stairs to the apartment at the same time a group of guys were on their way down and we met half way. The stairs were really narrow so the leather clad bikers stepped aside to allow Guay and me space to continue up. I was at most two steps above the guys when someone reached up and cupped one of my cheeks giving it a healthy squeeze and slapped it.


I honestly wasn’t thinking blinded by rage and a stinging butt cheek I whirled around and jumped down onto the step below me and nailed the first guy I saw across the face with my forearm making him lose his balance and hit the wall with his back. “Oh shit!” one of his companions shouted and laughed “shorty decked you!” The guy stared at me in shock at first and then a slow smile crept over his face as he ran his hand over his nose. Guay fearing that the guy would hit me pulled at me from the step above and I shrugged out of her grip wanting to stay where I was. I figured if I was going to have to fight the spot I was standing in was just fine.

Instead of blowing a gasket the way I thought he would the guy shook his head and then apologized to me for his actions. He introduced himself as “Mike’s nephew” and asked my name as the blood started to trickle down his nose. I glared at him and without saying a word reached into the front pocket of my messenger bag and handed him my pack of Kleenix tissues. As he reached for them he smiled again and thanked me. Feeling a surge of adrenaline and wanting to get out of there before the guy decided he was supposed to be angry and retaliate I turned my back on him and jogged up the stairs. He asked my name again and I flipped him the bird over my shoulder, “I’m love!” he yelled at my back as I reached the top of the landing.

“Well that’s no way to win friends and influence people.” I muttered under my breath to Guay as I grabbed the stair case railing to the next flight of stairs. “That’s going to leave a mark.” Guay wisely surmised I wasn’t sure if she meant the smack to my butt or the forearm to his face.




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