Thursday, August 21, 2008

Fancy Yourself The Dog’s Bollocks Do You?


After nearly two years of friendship my buddy with the cockney accent had developed a craving for Latinas."So Mia do you have any Spanish friends you can hook me up with?” After careful deliberation I nodded. “As a matter of fact I do!”


So there I was sitting in a local pub sipping on a Guinness as they got to know each other. As predicted my girl was shy at first but he’s a great conversationalist and in no time at all managed to draw her out. Sensing my job there was done I pulled back a bit until it was just the two of them talking. When my cell phone rang I glanced down to the caller ID and excused myself to take my boyfriend’s call. I’d just ended my call when he came over, “I got worried so I came to check on you. You’re so tiny someone can just scoop you up in their pocket and we’d be none the wiser.” “Ha-ha. Where’s this chick at?” “She went to the loo.” “So what do you think?” “She’s great.” “I knew you would like her!” “You were awfully quiet in there pet.” “Well duh both of you already know me the point was for both of you to get to know each other.” He reached over and yanked my pony tail “Jealous?” “No” “Not even a little?” “No” “No?” “No” “Damn” I punched his shoulder and he laughed holding his hands up in surrender, “I’m only winding you up love.”

My friend joined us and smiled at me she really liked the guy. I figured it was cool for me to leave, “Alrighty then since you guys are all set I’m going to head out and meet up with my boy toy. I promised I’d check out The Dark Knight with him.” He put his arm around me and looked around the pub, “Let us walk you to the Uncle Gus I don’t want some fecking arse-over-tit ponce getting his chalk farms around you.” “Don’t worry this area is safe besides I’m not taking the bus I’m going to call a cab.” I said as I punched in the cab service’s number. “What the hell did you just say?” my home girl asked. He laughed and explained he’d just offered to walk me to the bus because he was afraid one of the drunken guys outside would try to grab me. “And Mia understood that?” he nodded his head,”Yeah I’ve been teaching her the slang for a couple of years now getting her ready for when she crosses the pond.”

“Okay people now is when I must say toodles to thee I’ve got to bounce, the driver will be here in a minute he’s around the corner.” I said as I winked at my home girl. “Oh well then give us a frenchy before you leave” he said as he leaned down and offered his cheek to me. I gave him a quick peck “Remember I’m not here to translate so could you please stick to English?” “I am speaking English pet.” “American English.” I warned. “Oy you know I’m a dab hand at that!” “Are you really you arse, fancy yourself the dog’s bollocks do you?” he barked out a laugh and pulled me to him for a bear hug. “Mia what the hell did you just say?!” home girl asked as she tried to visualize the picture I painted. “Gah, I’ve taught you well.” He said as they walked me towards the door.

Labels: friends, special moments

Posted by @ 12:59 AM
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