Mia: Shaken Not Stirred


The true life stories of a NYC female.

Monday, June 23, 2008

The Other Side Has Cookies


My brother was discussing the up coming gay pride week and how he and some friends had been invited by a lesbian friend of theirs to attend the parade that caps off the event. The girl “Cakes” and my bro have been best friends since they were kids and she wants him there with her for support. It’s one thing to let your friends know that you're gay it's another thing completely to march in the streets shouting it out to the world at the age of 18. That my friends takes huge cojones.


As I listened to my brother talk about the event with his friends on the phone it was obvious that they were wary of being around gay guys. It struck me as funny because these guys are totally accepting of their gay female friends and are very protective of them yet are terrified of gay men. When he was done on the phone he saw me giving him the eye.

Mia: Why are you so nervous? They're guys just like you.

Steven: I don’t have any problems with gay guys but I’m saying what if they hit on me?

Mia: Do you like men, are you curious, afraid you might be tempted to taste the rainbow?

My brother scoffed at that and started to laugh.

Steven: No.

Mia: You know I hear (doing finger quotes) “the other side” has cookies!

Steven: Mia! I’m saying what if a guy hits on me how do I act?

Mia: Look if a guy hits on you all you have to do is tell the guy you’re straight and you’re not interested. Take it as a complement, the same way you do when a female approaches you. Trust me on this it’s no biggie I get hit on by lesbians all the time. If I were to get offended every time it happened I’d spend a lot of time pissed off.

Steven: Yeah but it’s different for you you’re a girl.

what is it about this generation of urban males that allows them to be cool enough to count lesbians among their best friends but makes them leery to do the same with gay men?

Mia: How is it different Steven because I’m a straight female I’m supposed to be get hit on by other females? There’s no difference. Remember kid you’re defined by your actions.

Steven: Don’t you feel uncomfortable though?

Mia: Na man I’m secure enough in my own sexuality not to feel threatened by it. It’s like being hit on by a guy I’m not attracted to not a big thing. Whenever it happens I just tell the person that I’m not interested in them that way and they keep it moving. Whatcha think that they are going to force you to join the other side? Come on dude be for real. How is a gay guy any different from a gay female except that one sits and the other one stands to pee. You’re mad quick to accept and protect Cakes, Jazzy, and Strawberry and mind you they’ve all had crushes on Caity at one time or another. True, yes?

Steven: True that.

Mia: Yet a gay guy creeps you out. Don’t you think that’s kind of silly?

My brother let my words sink in for a few seconds. I could see the hamster on the exercise wheel in his brain working overtime. Finally he turned to me.

Steven:True.

Mia: True to the ooo. So what you gonna do?


Steven: I’ll talk to the guys.

Mia: That’s my good boy now run off and go play with your legos. I’ve got some work to do. Oh Stevie remember the other side has cookies!

He flashed his dimples at me and called me stupid. I let him go later on he’d pay for that remark. After he left I thought about the one time when a gay friend of mine had been bold enough to kiss me. None of my lesbian or bisexual friends had ever dared to cross the line. There was an understanding between them and me. I accepted thier sexual orientation and they accepted mine and that was that. None of us were tempted to dip our feet in the pool of each other's sexual orientation. This new friend however was feeling brave.

We were in a calypso club dancing up a storm and all of a sudden she grabbed my face and laid one on me slipping her tongue into my mouth. I backed away a little in shock as she tried to deepen the kiss. When she released me she stared at me looking for a reaction. “Well” I said, “that’s going to take up a paragraph or two in my diary tonight!” She smiled at me and moved in to kiss me again and I held my hand up and shook my head. “Chill that’s not my thing.” At the time I had cut my long hair and was sporting a short do. "Don't let the hair cut fool you." I joked. She tilted her head and stared at me. “Oh my God Mia I am so sorry!”

I threw my arm around her shoulder and hugged her. “Relax it ain’t that serious. We’re cool. Let’s go get some water, I’m thirsty.” “Mia…” “I know, I know it’s my hips when they are in action they just enthrall the masses. It’s a curse what can I say?” I said as we walked. “You taste good by the way.” “Do I really?” I asked. She nodded her head. “It’s the cherry lip gloss. Not only does it condition my lips but it’s a low cal treat too.” She exploded in laugher and slipped her arm around my waist as we walked towards the vendor selling bottled water.

I Kissed A Girl





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Posted by @ 9:08 AM
4 comment from: Blogger Mica, Anonymous darla, Anonymous frum, Blogger Mia,