Mia: Shaken Not Stirred

The true life stories of a NYC female.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Lies My Mother Told Me

While watching a comedian talk about little kids curiosity and how it can be irritating to their parents mom started remembering some of the stuff she had told me when I was a kid. I was surprised that I remembered a few of them as well. My favorite one was the thunder story….

We were walking through Central Park on our way to the playground and the spring grass caught my eye….

Mia (3 yrs old):Why is the grass green?

My 23 year old mother debated how to explain chlorophyll, photosynthesis, light and the Earth’s atmosphere to me in a way a 3 year old could understand it. She decided she couldn’t.

Mom: Because some of the angels in heaven came down to with green crayola crayons and colored each individual blade.

Mia (3 yrs old): and the sky too mommy?

Mom: Yes those angels use the blue crayola crayons.

Mia (3 yrs old): For real?

Mom:Yup. They have lots of different shades of green and blue crayons. Some are light and some are dark.

Mia (3 yrs old):Mommy I have crayola crayons!

Mom:Do you have green and blue ones?

Mia (3 yrs old):Yes ! Can I color the grass and the sky?

Mom:Sorry honey only the angels can do it BUT if you leave all the green and blue ones out on the table the angels will come late at night and take them and use them..

For the next couple of nights I left all of my blue and green jumbo thick Crayola crayons out on the table for the angels and in the morning they’d be gone. The next time we were out in the park my mother pointed to the grass and the sky…

Mom: Mia look at that! The grass is green and the sky is blue! You know what that means?

Heck yeah I knew what that meant, I was one excited kid! I nodded my head so hard I looked like a bobble head
Mom: Mia the angels used your crayons!

My mother says that for the rest of the day I was elated and insisted on calling my grandparents and visiting my great grandfather to share the joy.

Mia ( 4 yrs old): Mommy can we go outside today?

Mom:No baby it’s raining

Mia ( 4 yrs old): Mommy why is it raining?

Mom:Because the clouds were heavy with water.

Mia ( 4 yrs old): Why mommy?

Mom says there were times she had wished she was Bill Nye The Science Guy because of my questions. BTW much to my mom’s relief Bill Nye The Science Guy and Beakman’s World became favorites of mine when I was in grade school. For those not familiar with those the 2 they were science shows for kids and yes I am a science geek to this day.

Mia ( 4 yrs old): How the water got in the clouds?

Mom : The angels used the clouds to dry their tears.

Mia( 4 yrs old): Why were the angels crying mommy?

Mom: Because you didn’t eat your vegetables at dinner last night.

Mia ( 4 yrs old):Mommy why is the sky so loud?

Mom :: That’s called thunder baby and when the sky lights up it’s called lightning.

Mia ( 4 yrs old): Why does it do that mommy?

Mom: Because the angels are bowling. Whenever you hear the thunder that means they made a strike, they knocked all the pins down. When you see the lightning that’s God taking a picture of them with his camera.

Her explanation managed to calm my fear and I stood at our window watching the rain waiting for my dad to come home from work when the next flash of lighting lit up the sky I looked up and smiled…

Mia ( 4 yrs old): “Cheeeeeese!”

Mom: Mia what are you doing baby?

Mia ( 4 yrs old): I’m smiling at God ‘cause he taking pictures!

By the way I would like to add in conclusion here that until the age of four when I started kindergarten thanks to my mother I thought my hands were called paws!

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