Mia: Shaken Not Stirred


The true life stories of a NYC female.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Fag hagging for fun not profit


The fire and brimstone brigade was in full force on Southern Blvd preaching on the ills of sin trying to save as many souls from purgatory as possible. My friend and I were waiting on a cab so we stood there listening. This is the religion my friend had grown up with. Until recently he had been attended church daily. Then someone “outed” him they revealed that my friend was gay and from there the whispers and stares grew like wild fire. They even tried an intervention in an attempt to cure him of his "illness". Day in day out his cell phone went off with members of the congregation calling him and text messaging him to talk about his straying from the path the lord had set for him. Eventually it became too much for him and he left the church.

Spotting a homosexual couple holding hands the man on the microphone started preaching about the evils of homosexuality. I pull my friends arm, “ Vente , come on let’s go this is boring.” “Na chill I want to hear this.” I guess listening to the drivel is his way of doing penance. I hug his arm and tippy toe whispering in his ear, "You’re not vile, you're not an abomination. You’re his child, created in his image.God doesn’t hate you.” He looked at me and said, “You really think so?”. He didn’t say anything for a minute then turned to me and said, “You know what I need? I need a fag hag do you want to be my fag hag?”

Mia: Is there any money to be made in fag hagging?
You know I’ve got bills to pay man.

Friend: No, not really but there’s a lot of fringe benefits.

hmmm something there’s something to think about

Mia: Like?

Friend:
Clubbing, makeovers, great fashion tips.

Mia:
Let me think about this fag hagging for fun...not for profit

Friend:
Yeah

Mia: Can you teach me how to do use my khol eyeliner?

Friend:
Yup

Mia: Deal, you've got yourself a fag hag!

Friend:
Mia?

Mia: Yes?

Friend:
I love you

Mia:
Yeah yeah keep it moving sister.

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