Monday, June 23, 2008

The Other Side Has Cookies


My brother was discussing the up coming gay pride week and how he and some friends had been invited by a lesbian friend of theirs to attend the parade that caps off the event. The girl “Cakes” and my bro have been best friends since they were kids and she wants him there with her for support. It’s one thing to let your friends know that you're gay it's another thing completely to march in the streets shouting it out to the world at the age of 18. That my friends takes huge cojones.


As I listened to my brother talk about the event with his friends on the phone it was obvious that they were wary of being around gay guys. It struck me as funny because these guys are totally accepting of their gay female friends and are very protective of them yet are terrified of gay men. When he was done on the phone he saw me giving him the eye.

Mia: Why are you so nervous? They're guys just like you.

Steven: I don’t have any problems with gay guys but I’m saying what if they hit on me?

Mia: Do you like men, are you curious, afraid you might be tempted to taste the rainbow?

My brother scoffed at that and started to laugh.

Steven: No.

Mia: You know I hear (doing finger quotes) “the other side” has cookies!

Steven: Mia! I’m saying what if a guy hits on me how do I act?

Mia: Look if a guy hits on you all you have to do is tell the guy you’re straight and you’re not interested. Take it as a complement, the same way you do when a female approaches you. Trust me on this it’s no biggie I get hit on by lesbians all the time. If I were to get offended every time it happened I’d spend a lot of time pissed off.

Steven: Yeah but it’s different for you you’re a girl.

what is it about this generation of urban males that allows them to be cool enough to count lesbians among their best friends but makes them leery to do the same with gay men?

Mia: How is it different Steven because I’m a straight female I’m supposed to be get hit on by other females? There’s no difference. Remember kid you’re defined by your actions.

Steven: Don’t you feel uncomfortable though?

Mia: Na man I’m secure enough in my own sexuality not to feel threatened by it. It’s like being hit on by a guy I’m not attracted to not a big thing. Whenever it happens I just tell the person that I’m not interested in them that way and they keep it moving. Whatcha think that they are going to force you to join the other side? Come on dude be for real. How is a gay guy any different from a gay female except that one sits and the other one stands to pee. You’re mad quick to accept and protect Cakes, Jazzy, and Strawberry and mind you they’ve all had crushes on Caity at one time or another. True, yes?

Steven: True that.

Mia: Yet a gay guy creeps you out. Don’t you think that’s kind of silly?

My brother let my words sink in for a few seconds. I could see the hamster on the exercise wheel in his brain working overtime. Finally he turned to me.

Steven:True.

Mia: True to the ooo. So what you gonna do?


Steven: I’ll talk to the guys.

Mia: That’s my good boy now run off and go play with your legos. I’ve got some work to do. Oh Stevie remember the other side has cookies!

He flashed his dimples at me and called me stupid. I let him go later on he’d pay for that remark. After he left I thought about the one time when a gay friend of mine had been bold enough to kiss me. None of my lesbian or bisexual friends had ever dared to cross the line. There was an understanding between them and me. I accepted thier sexual orientation and they accepted mine and that was that. None of us were tempted to dip our feet in the pool of each other's sexual orientation. This new friend however was feeling brave.

We were in a calypso club dancing up a storm and all of a sudden she grabbed my face and laid one on me slipping her tongue into my mouth. I backed away a little in shock as she tried to deepen the kiss. When she released me she stared at me looking for a reaction. “Well” I said, “that’s going to take up a paragraph or two in my diary tonight!” She smiled at me and moved in to kiss me again and I held my hand up and shook my head. “Chill that’s not my thing.” At the time I had cut my long hair and was sporting a short do. "Don't let the hair cut fool you." I joked. She tilted her head and stared at me. “Oh my God Mia I am so sorry!”

I threw my arm around her shoulder and hugged her. “Relax it ain’t that serious. We’re cool. Let’s go get some water, I’m thirsty.” “Mia…” “I know, I know it’s my hips when they are in action they just enthrall the masses. It’s a curse what can I say?” I said as we walked. “You taste good by the way.” “Do I really?” I asked. She nodded her head. “It’s the cherry lip gloss. Not only does it condition my lips but it’s a low cal treat too.” She exploded in laugher and slipped her arm around my waist as we walked towards the vendor selling bottled water.

I Kissed A Girl

Labels: gay friends

Click here to read entire post.



Posted by @ 9:08 AM
4 comment from:  Mica,  Anonymous,  Anonymous,  Mia,

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Fag hagging for fun not profit

The fire and brimstone brigade was in full force on Southern Blvd preaching on the ills of sin trying to save as many souls from purgatory as possible. My friend and I were waiting on a cab so we stood there listening. This is the religion my friend had grown up with. Until recently he had been attended church daily. Then someone “outed” him they revealed that my friend was gay and from there the whispers and stares grew like wild fire. They even tried an intervention in an attempt to cure him of his "illness". Day in day out his cell phone went off with members of the congregation calling him and text messaging him to talk about his straying from the path the lord had set for him. Eventually it became too much for him and he left the church.

Spotting a homosexual couple holding hands the man on the microphone started preaching about the evils of homosexuality. I pull my friends arm, “ Vente , come on let’s go this is boring.” “Na chill I want to hear this.” I guess listening to the drivel is his way of doing penance. I hug his arm and tippy toe whispering in his ear, "You’re not vile, you're not an abomination. You’re his child, created in his image.God doesn’t hate you.” He looked at me and said, “You really think so?”. He didn’t say anything for a minute then turned to me and said, “You know what I need? I need a fag hag do you want to be my fag hag?”

Mia: Is there any money to be made in fag hagging?
You know I’ve got bills to pay man.

Friend: No, not really but there’s a lot of fringe benefits.

hmmm something there’s something to think about

Mia: Like?

Friend: Clubbing, makeovers, great fashion tips.

Mia: Let me think about this fag hagging for fun...not for profit

Friend: Yeah

Mia: Can you teach me how to do use my khol eyeliner?

Friend: Yup

Mia: Deal, you've got yourself a fag hag!

Friend: Mia?

Mia: Yes?

Friend: I love you

Mia: Yeah yeah keep it moving sister.

Labels: friends, gay friends

Click here to read entire post.



Posted by @ 1:08 AM
2 comment from:  Wendy aka Cheeky,  DannieS72,

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Are You Gay Part2

I’d just landed in dream land as my tired body laid snuggled up in my favorite comforter with my pillows just so and Cleo snuggled up against me. I could hear my phone ringing, it sounded so far away but the reality of it was that it was a few inches away on my night stand. All of a sudden Joaquin Phoenix who was in the process of selling me some cobalt blue long stemmed wine glasses said, “Mia you’re phone is ringing. Pick it up.” It was 1 am…. I could barely make out the voice on the phone…

VOP: Are you sleeping?

Mia: (yawn) mmmm, kinda, (yawn) sorta.

Wtf was Joaquin Phoenix doing selling me glasses?

Mia: What’s wrong?

VOP: I need to talk to you about something

I felt myself drifting back off into dream land I was still asleep enough to go back to my dream and haggle with Joaquin Phoenix over the price of the glasses…I struggled to stay awake…man the comforter was so warm, my room had that nice scent of vanilla from the candle that had been burning in my room earlier.

VOP: Well can you talk or not?

Mia: Yeah man I’m up, I’m up. Stop yelling.


there was a sense of urgency in her voice. This conversation needed to take place. Never mind the fact that I was exhausted, Joaquin Phoenix would have to sell those glasses to someone else. I sat up and leaned back on my pillows. Cleo sighed and went to her doggie bed.


VOP: Did you review for tomorrow’s exam?

Mia: Yes

VOP: Did you print out your paper?

Mia: Yup

VOP: How many pages was it?

Mia: A whole bunch. What’s wrong?

VOP: (sigh) The other day… you asked me a question. The gay question. Remember I said I didn’t know?

Mia: umhm

VOP: I didn’t think you knew.

Mia: I still don’t

VOP: yeah I guess I am. Yes I am, no guessing. Yes I am, I’m gay.

what followed as a 3 hr conversation on revulsion, self-loathing, confusion, and fear.

VOP: Mia I have something else to tell you…

Mia: Ooh! Ooh! Let me guess… you’re a right wing Christian Republican.

VOP: you know you’re stupid right? (laughing)

Mia: Things have been intimidated, rumors have been spread but nothing’s been confirmed.

VOP: Mia be serious for a minute.

Mia: Okay I’m in serious mode… hit me up sister…

VOP: I’m in love with you

Mia: Wow.

it’s something else to suspect it but when it’s confirmed it’s tangible, not something that might be your mind playing tricks on you. I knew the sort of love she felt for me was not the same as I felt for her. Everything I was going to say was going to sound cliché but it was coming from my heart.

Mia: I love you, that goes without saying. I’m sorry it’s not the same type of love you feel for me but it’s real and it’s yours.

VOP: I know… I didn’t expect you to feel the same; you don’t have to say anymore. I know, I know you don’t feel the same way but I just had to get it out there as long as I was being straight with you. I just don’t want things to change between us.

Mia: Why would they? You’re you and I am me and together we are (clap, clap) the wonder twins! Look we’re still the same people we were yesterday nothing is ever going to change the way I feel about you. As a matter of fact lovers come and go but our friendship is eternal, it’s like herpes simplex nothing can get rid of it. It’s there por vida ese!

VOP: God you’re too much.

Mia: No I’m not. I’m just a handful; my mama tells me so all the time. Anything more than a handful is too much.

VOP: Mia you leave me breathless.

Mia: Are you saying I give you asthma, or emphysema? (laughing) You need an inhaler or something?

VOP: Ahhh man. Like the song, dumb ass. You leave me breathless.

Mia: What are you now Jerry Lee Lewis? Are you going to sing to me? Let me know now so I can hang up because you know you’re tone deaf. Last time you sang in public you made my uterus hurt, I thought you’d sterilized all the females in the room.


VOP: Hey, hey! I can sing…badly but shit I can sing. Yeah breathless like Jerry Lee Lewis and Breathless like The Coors I can’t hide from you, you see through me, you see into me. How do you do that? How do you become that person?

Mia: Clean living, and Flintstone vitamins. Damn you’re making me sound like this super amazing person. I’m just me man. What you see in me is you being reflected right back at you. I don’t think you realize how totally amazing you are. You’re a gift and someday you are going to knock someone off their feet and they are going to thank God for the day you came into their lives. Feel me?

VOP: Yeah . I just don’t want… you sure nothing is going to change?

Mia: it sounds to me as if you were expecting me to turn my back on you. Would it make you feel better if I did?

VOP: I dunno

Mia: Hold up let’s try this… How dare you say you‘re in love with me you you big footed lesbian you and to think you have seen me in my drawers! Lord knows what sick things you were thinking of as I stood there pulling out my wedgie in my grandma parachute panties! Oh yeah and another thing don’t be calling me no more in the middle of the night I was in dream land with Joaquin Phoenix dammit. There does that make you feel better? Is that what you expected from me? Did you expect me to run away from you?

the whole time I was on my rant she was laughing hysterically
VOP: Ohhh shit! You’re too too much. I don’t know what I was expecting.


Mia: If the situation were reversed would you run away from me?

VOP: No

Mia: So why would you expect anything less from me?

VOP: I was scared… wait you don’t wear grandma panties.

Mia: Aha you filthy slore ! I knew you were checking me out all those times I paraded around your room in my Hello Kitty bloomers! What did you think of the sponge bob square pants ones? Cute eh? I brought a pair too, so we can match.

yeah I’m really tired I need some sleep I’m discussing my underwear

VOP: You know what I love about you?

Mia: Well I remember you once saying it was because of the fact you can bounce a quarter off my ass.

VOP: Well yeah that is so cool and that flexing the butt cheeks to music is awesome. How the fuck you do that?

Mia: It’s a gift grasshopper

VOP: What I love about you is the fact that you’re so fucking open. You act like you don’t give a shit about what people think or say.

Mia: That’s because I don’t. I can’t live my life based on people’s opinions and neither should you. Live your life the way you want, because at the end of your life it is you that will be dying no one will die in your place. Die happy with no regrets. Life goes on. To thine ownself be true, pip pip cheerio and all that other stuff.

VOP: You wouldn’t die for me?

Mia: WTF I look like I got a Jesus Christ complex, dying for the sins of others? Oh hell no! Try nailing me to a cross you’re going to get some splinters up your ass.

VOP: So what now?

Mia: We take over the world Pinky. I don’t know. Just promise me you’re not going to get a buzz cut and start wearing plaid shirts every where we go. Seriously this is you’re life, what do you want to do?

VOP: I was thinking about a support group. They have a support group for what I’m going through?

Mia: Hey man they have support groups for everything. We’ll look for one and you can check it out if you want.

VOP: Mia what about our friends?

Mia: If they get all weirded out that’s their problem then those are people I don’t want as friends, do you? We could always get new ones.

VOP: You’d cut them off just like that?

Mia: Haven’t we always looked out for each other? Come on man you think that if someone disses you over this that I’m still going to be hanging out with them? Get real girl. If they mess with you it’s the same as messing with me. I’m more worried about your family more than the people we chill with.

VOP: Oh God they are going to beat the shit out of me when they find out.

she’s afraid of her family’s reaction and knowing her family the way I do I’m afraid for her as well. I really think she should wait until she’s on her own before she tells her family and tell her so.

Mia: No one’s going to lay a hand on you. They’ll have to come through me first to get to you. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.

there was nothing for a few seconds, I thought our call had dropped. Then I heard her crying.

Mia: (sigh) please don’t cry…

VOP: I don’t want anything to change me and you… I’ve been holding it in for so long always afraid and shit that some one’s going to find out.

Mia: Nothing is going to change our friendship. I’m comfortable in my own skin and you need to learn how to be comfy in yours. There’s no weirdness here on my part. The rest is on you. Baby girl baby steps, baby steps. We’ll take it one day at a time. I’m not going anywhere, I am not running away. Don’t close yourself off out of fear. Don’t cling to me because I am safe because no matter how much I care for you I’m not what you need or want. You understand?

VOP: Yeah dude. You’ll go with me to the support group?


Mia: Inshallah…If they let me in yes, if not I’ll wait outside for you. I just can’t quit you!!

VOP: WTF was that?

Mia: It’s a line from that movie I lent you. You still haven’t seen Broke Back Mountain?

VOP: Na

Mia: Slow ass Slore


VOP: Are you still spending the night tomorrow night?

that was the signal for the conversation to change, her mom had walked into her bedroom after seeing her light on.

Mia: Yes sir, well technically it’s actually later on tonight. Please don’t force me to eat your moms awful cooking, let’s eat dinner at my house and then go to yours or pick up some food from the chino-cubano.

VOP: Okay chicharron de pollo , my treat. I got some movies we could watch too. No homework, no reviews, or papers just relaxing tonight ok?

Mia: You got it, we need a night off. Can I get some sleep now? My dad already left for work.

VOP: Oh shit yea it’s 4:30 ! Mia…Thanks

Mia: For?

VOP: For being you.

Mia: Yeah, yeah whatever dude … The sun will be rising soon so make sure your mini blinds are drawn Dracula I don’t want you burning to ashes.
Good night, see you in a few hours .

She mentioned a couple of nice songs in our convo both of them titled “Breathless” here they are might as well give you some music ….


Breathless::The Coors


Powered by Castpost


Powered by Castpost

Labels: friends, gay friends

Click here to read entire post.



Posted by @ 11:11 AM
5 comment from:  sadiq,  Just Jane,  Mia,  Emory Mayne,  Mia,

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Are you gay?

I have a friend we've been inseperable since we were teenagers. We’re always together even in school. When people see me they know she can't be too far behind. Whenever they see us apart they always ask for the missing buddy. People are not used to seeing us apart from each other. My poor BF had alot of trouble in the beginning dealing with this. She wasn't too happy having him around and he wasn't too thrilled with her. They drove me crazy finally I spoke to both of them and told them to cut the crap out. People have always wondered about us asking stupid questions, making comments about her. I’ve never been one to give a crap about what people think of me so I really don’t care what they think.

More than once I’ve had guys question the nature of our relationship due to her possessiveness of me. I mentioned this to my mother and she said, "Mia she's in love with you. Everyone sees it but you." I spoke to my dad and he said the same thing. Yeah it’s true she chose her major, and her school based on my major and the school I chose to go to. She followed me out here. I figured because she is unsure of what she wants to do with her life she’s following in my foot steps until she finds what she wants to do. I would know if she’s gay wouldn’t I ? Plus frankly speaking it doesn’t matter to me, I don’t give a pig’s booger if she is or not.

My mom is not the first person to say that she’s in love with me actually a lot of our other friends have said it as well. The other day while working on a school project we were having a discussion about sexual preferences, discrimination and society’s attitude towards homosexuality. As we were talking a slow realization came over me. She is gay but why keep it from me? I have several lesbian friends I’ve introduced her to and she knows I treat them no different than our straight friends so if she is gay she doesn’t need to be afraid to come out to me. I tell her this and add that I would not love her any less. Finally I ask her straight out, “Are you gay?” Her answer just shocked me I hadn’t expected it, she replied “I don’t know.”

I figured that it should be a clear cut black and white answer no gray shades, no in between just yes or no anything but “I don’t know”. I would have been less shocked if she had told me “yes”. She didn’t seem to want to pursue it any further so I just let it go. I figure when she is ready to talk even if it’s years from now I’ll be here to listen.

Labels: friends, gay friends

Click here to read entire post.



Posted by @ 10:43 AM
13 comment from:  karmic,  Mia,  Just Jane,  Mia,  Just Jane,  sadiq,  Mia,  sadiq,  Just Jane,  Just Jane,  sadiq,  Just Jane,  Mia,