Monday, January 05, 2009

It Always Pays To Befriend The Bouncer


My friends had wanted to go clubbing in search of men. They seem to be under the impression that they’re going to find their Prince Charming doing “The Martin” on the dance floor. I was there straight up for the dancing. The crowd in this club was pretty aggressive I had more than a few eager erections pressed into my hip and backside while dancing. Feeling rather disgusted I finally gave up on dancing and stepped outside of the club to get some fresh air.

The club’s bouncer stood several feet away from me observing the small crowd milling about in front of him. Some were smoking others were just flirting. It was like watching animal mating rituals on the discovery channel. The bouncer was built like a pro wrestler he was a tall imposing man. He looked as if he could easily toss a body across the street and not even break a sweat while doing it.

A couple of females came up to him and began aggressively flirting with him.
He sent them on their way and when they were gone snorted and shot me a side glance.

“The women here are too much.” He said.
I nodded my head in agreement and told him the men inside were no better.

“My name’s John.” he said as he extended his hand towards me.

“Mia.” I replied and shook his hand.
“God you’re a tiny little thing.” He observed. “How tall are you?”

I ignored the question and replied. “I didn’t eat all my veggies as a kid.”

A conversation was born. He was a student (med) working his way through school. We discussed what we hated about clubs, school, the tension in Gaza, the economy, our hopes for this country’s future, and our personal goals.

The conversation eventually morphed into a pep talk as I explained that the second guessing and self-doubts he was experiencing were a normal part of life.

“Can you picture yourself happy doing anything else but medicine?” I asked.

“No.” he replied.

“Is it just about money or helping people?”

“People” he quickly answered.

“If it’s just about the money you won’t be happy,” I warned him. “You need a purpose.”

“People.” He repeated.

“So knowing this why are you doubting yourself?”

He shrugged his shoulders.

“Is it because the road is a long one and right now it seems as if you’ll never reach the end of it and your friends have already reached the end of their academic journey and started their lives already?” he nodded his head.

I pointed to myself, “Join the club John the membership is free.”

By the look on his face I could tell that I’d lost him for a second.

“Allow moi to explain John…take notes, there will be a quiz on this when I’m done.”

He assumed the official bouncer pose. You know the one, it’s when they cross their massive arms over their chest and stand with their legs a couple of feet apart. I think they go to a special bouncer school to master it. Not wanting to be outdone I leaned against the wall, crossed my arms over my chest and stared up at him despite the fact that I was getting a crick in my neck.

“John, I feel the same way at times but look we didn’t choose simple careers. We chose careers that have an impact on people’s lives. It takes years of prep to work in our fields.”

He nodded his head in agreement and wrinkled his nose.

“Actually, when you put it that way I shouldn’t be so down about it right?"

“Should you?” I asked.

He shook his head and smiled. “Hell no.”

“You’re freaking brilliant John.” I said.

Sometimes people need to talk and to hear their thoughts in another voice. I wasn’t telling him anything he didn’t already know. I’d given myself the same pep talk several times these past months.

The arrival of one of my friends ended our conversation. My presence was requested inside.
I pushed off the wall I’d been leaning on and smiled up at the bouncer.

“It was nice talking to you John.” I said and started to head back inside.

“Hey Mia I get a break soon if I go in and search for you will you dance with me?”

“It depends,are you going to rub up on me?”
It had been one of the things that we’d discussed about my dislike of clubs.

He stared at me and laughed. “No rubbing, strictly dancing I swear.” he said crossing his heart. “I know how much you hate the pelvic thrust dance.”

“Good bouncer. S’okay then I’ll dance with you.”
He asked what table I was sitting at before turning away to deal with a customer.

My friend and I hit the dance floor for a couple of songs. When we returned to our friends at the table a waitress was setting down a fresh tray of drinks.

“Which one of you is Mia?” she asked.

I held up my hand and she smiled.

“John sent this over and he said to tell you if anyone tries the pelvic thrust dance with you for you to tell me and I’ll send for him.”

I thanked her and asked her to thank John for me as well. It always pays to befriend the bouncer even if it's just to keep the pelvic thrust dancers away.

Labels: bar stories

Posted by @ 11:47 PM
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