Mia: Shaken Not Stirred


The true life stories of a NYC female.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

The Shoes, The Make-up, and The Bulbous Nose


I leaned against the lamp post on cooper street and held my hand up towards Tiffany I was laughing so hard my stomach was hurting. “Come on Mia it’s not that funny!” Tiffany said. “Yes it is!” I managed to hiss.

Sometimes my friends feel the need to share with me, sometimes it’s just a little TMI and I’ll cringe but this was the first time a TMI revelation had caused me one huge laughing fit. Maybe if Tiffany hadn’t looked so serious when she’d told me I wouldn’t have laughed. Na, I still would’ve laughed I’m shameless that way. I didn’t understand why she was so amazed by my laughter and comments. She should’ve known I’d laugh, she should have known I’d crack jokes and believe me I did crack jokes. I couldn’t help it, I had to get it out of my system. It took me a bit but eventually I managed to regain my composure. I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand as we started walking again.



Tiffany the significant other of a muy macho, tattoo loving, hot rocker, sex on a stick type guy had just revealed one of her darling’s sexual fantasies to me, which was why we were in search of a costume shop. Having the friends that I have nothing should surprise me. I roll with a fairly twisted bunch of people.

Her boyfriend's sexual fantasy was original I had to admit. He wanted make love to her while she was dressed as a clown. He wanted the whole package, the shoes, the make-up, and the bulbous nose. She was aware of he was into clowns but never expected him to actually want to be in a clown. It was kind of hard not to notice his love of clowns his ink was proof. His body was covered with all sorts of clown tattoos. Much like the ink on my body reflects my love of fairies. Except my fantasies don't involve bumbing uglies with Tinkerbelle.

I actually managed to make it 2 blocks before I said, "Does he have any Bozo The Clown posters up in his room?" "Mia." We walked another block before I gave in to temptation “He must walk around with a raging hard on whenever the circus comes to town.” “Shut up Mia, don’t start up again.”



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