Mia: Shaken Not Stirred

The true life stories of a NYC female.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Deity Will Do Just Fine

Monday :

She: Are you coming to Thursday’s class?

Me: Yes


She: Are you coming in on Thursday?

Me: Yes

Wednesday :

She: Hey you, are you coming in tomorrow?

Me: Yes

Thursday :

She: Are you coming in tonight?

Me: Na, I found out I don’t have to since I presented my paper last week.

She: Please come in.

Me: But the professor said I don’t have to.

She: Mia pleaseeee

Me: Why are you so anxious for me to come in?


Me: Why should I make the 2 hour ride to school if I don’t have to?

She: I’ve got to present my paper and I need you for moral support. I won’t get nervous if I present the paper while I’m looking at you.

Me: Print out a picture of me and attach it to your report.

She: Liz is going to be there.

Me: Oh.

Liz is the resident know it all. Whenever one of the students presents a paper Liz heckles them. I swear the professor must give Liz points every time she manages to fluster a student.

She: Mia you divine goddess, please, please, with sugar on top?

Me: Divine goddess?

She: Yes.

Me: Major or minor?

She: Major of course! Huge, major goddess.

Me: What are my powers?

She: Only you divine goddess have the power to hold me back from smacking her in the mouth if she acts up.

Me: Meh. That’s it? Obviously we have differing ideas on what major powers are. The ability to conjure up fat free southern fried chicken and fat free Lady Godiva’s now that’s major power. Stopping you from popping a wannabe brainiac in the mouth is not a major power.

She: You’ve never seen me when I get angry.

Me: True that.

She: Are you coming to class tonight?

Me: Depends, is there beer attached to this gig? Because you know goddesses need tribute and nothing says worship more than the tribute of booze, spicy Buffalo wings, and song.

She: Yeah a beer tribute will be offered. We can go to the pub after class.

Me: Na, it’s cool I forgot we’re going out pubbing tomorrow night. I can only inflict but so much damage to my liver just before my birthday.

She: Okay then your Guinness is on me tomorrow night.

Me: Hmmm.

She: So is that a yes are you coming to class tonight?

Me: Fine, I’ll be there.

She: You’ve got to sit up in the front. I want to look at your face and focus on you.

Me: You scare me seriously you really do. Besides I hate sitting in the front. The professor always wants to get all chatty with me.

She: Liz sits in front and I want you next to her.

Me: Okay.

She: All hail Mia the goddess!

Me: Simmer down there she hulk.

She: As you wish goddess.

Me: Pft. Please there’s no need to use my formal title. Deity will do just fine.

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