Mia: Shaken Not Stirred


The true life stories of a NYC female.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Apparently I'm Descendended From Asses



My paternal uncle and fiancée recently had a parting of the ways and she moved out taking their toddler with them. My uncle is heart broken.

While visiting his daughter my uncle expressed his doubt to his mother-in-law that her daughter and him would be able to work things out. The mother in-law tried to offer him hope by comparing his situation to what had happened in her marriage.



“You know Mike,” she said, “my husband and I were divorced for five years before we came to our senses and remarried.”

My uncle looked up and down at her thoughtfully as he fed his daughter.

“Of course you guys ended up back together you had no choice! Look at you, you’re old no one else wanted either of you! It was either get back together or spend your old age alone.”

My mother winced and pinched the bridge of her nose. My father barked in laughter but quickly managed to stifle it when he noticed mom glaring at him from across the room.

My uncle’s mother –in- law rolled her eyes at him and excused herself from the room. When she was certain the woman had left the room my mother began to reprimand my uncle.

“What? It’s true none of them could get a date during those five years.” My uncle defiantly shot back at my mother.

My father meanwhile continued to grin at his younger brother like a maniacal leprechaun guarding his pot of gold.

“Don’t encourage him William.” mom said.

My father couldn’t help but giggle.

“But babe you can’t get mad at him for telling the truth.”

Mom glanced at me, “Mia, I hate to be the one to tell you this but apparently you’re descendended from asses.”she said.

Until that moment I hadn’t realized my uncle also has the no filter between his mouth and brain affliction. Now you know where I get it from. I never stood a chance, apparently I’m descendended from asses.

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