Mia: Shaken Not Stirred

The true life stories of a NYC female.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Smile when you say that...

I recently ended a year long relationship for reasons better left unsaid despite what he may think. Now the guy thinks I am a bitch. What moi a bitch?! I know I was shocked too! Not really. Why is it that whenever we stand up for ourselves and decide that something is not working and walk way we are called bitches? I mean if that’s what passes as the definition of the word bitch in the male kingdom then yeah I am a bitch. Smile when you say that! So for the next guy that crosses my path I offer this insight as to who I am. Maybe I should've called this post 10 steps to Mia...

1)I like who I am period before you start criticizing me, my relationship with my parents and family take a good look at yourself and make sure you’re not criticizing me out of jealousy. Instead of criticizing it take a good look at it. They say you can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat their parents. To me my parents are my God I worship them, I respect them and admire them. Their wisdom, examples, love, and care has made me the woman I am today.

2) My friends are my friends. I can point out when they've messed up to their face; I can tell them off when they irk me. You can not. I can do that because I’ve wiped their tears and fought their battles when they’ve needed me to. You have not logged in the years that I have with them. They may not be perfect but I love them. You at least should show them some respect.

3) I am friendly and love being around people but I also crave, enjoy and revel in solitude. It gives me a chance to renew my batteries. Don’t get offended or upset because there comes a day when I do not want to leave the comfort of my home. Understand my need for meditation. There are times when I will sit still for the longest of times and not utter a word simply because I have nothing to say. It has nothing to do with you. It may drive you nuts that I can withdraw into myself leaving you with just the shell of who I am as I escape into the welcomed solitude of my thoughts. It has nothing to do with you. Sometimes a chick just needs a little down time.

4) I believe in expressing how I feel not holding back and I encourage you to do the same at all times. Do not wait to tell me in August about something that I did in June that upset you the time to speak was then. Don’t hold onto your anger just let it go.

5) I will fight for the rights of others yet I hate to fight. Picking a fight with me is pointless. I refuse to resort to arguing to get my point across when a simple dialogue will do. If you insist on arguing with me prepared to get laughed at and watch me walk away. I can never keep a straight face when dealing with someone whose face is all contorted in rage.

6) Trust me as I trust you. If you are a part of my romantic life that means that I have placed my trust in you. Do not try to project your insecurities onto me. When I say someone is my friend take my word for it just as I take yours. There is no need to go running behind my back asking that person or interviewing my friends and family as to the nature of my relationship with my friend. I already told you and my word should suffice. I am not into playing games. When someone is in my heart I have no eyes for another. When I love you whether it be platonic or romantic I will love you with all I am. My love is unconditional and does not need it’s ego to be stroked in order to be kept alive. However please be aware that I have a big heart that has the capacity to love many people in many different ways. As such be prepared for the fact that no one ever really leaves my life. Some of my dearest friends are former boyfriends. Insecurity is not necessary; they are ex’s for a reason so please don’t be intimidated by my friendships with them. If I were still interested in them you wouldn’t be around.

7) Don’t try using jealousy as a way to keep me by your side. When I don’t want to be kept nothing will tie me to you. Jealous? I am not the type. Don’t try to fan something in me by swooning over some other woman and describing how she fawned over you in an attempt to arouse jealousy in me. It will not work. Not because I don’t care about you but instead because I refuse to hold onto someone who needs to be constantly reassured of their place in my heart. If my word is not enough then by all means run to the person who fawns over you. As a matter of fact I’ll hold the door open for you as you leave. This goes back to # 6 on my list. If there is no trust then why be with someone?

8) Me loving you does not make you the center of my life. Before I met you I had a life an enjoyable and vibrant one. I am not one of those females with heaving bosoms breathlessly awaiting the arrival of their man. I do not need nor want to see you every day; I do not need to talk to you 100 times a day. You and I were not born joined at the hip. My twin died along time ago. Please by all means continue to live the life you had before you met me. Please don’t expect me to stop living mine.

9) Do not ever in your wildest dreams attempt to resort to physical violence to keep me in place. Number one I fight back. Number two you do not know my uncles. They keep baseball bats and plastic garbage bags in the trunk of their cars for moments like that.

10 ) Please be aware that no matter what time of the night, no matter where I am or with whom I am if a friend in need calls me I will fly to their side. Never ever try to make me choose between you and my friends. Also know that if you ever need me day or night I will move mountains to be by your side as well.

That covers the basics as to who I am in a nut shell. Hopefully the next guy I come in contact with won't be intimidated by the total package and attempt to bend and twist me into his idea of what a woman should be. If he does he will be met with resistance and shown the door. I am simply me simply Mia accept me warts and all as I accept you and we should get along fine.

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Posted by @ 11:42 AM
6 comment from: Blogger Mica, Blogger christina/ohio, Blogger Mia, Blogger Amani, Blogger Amani, Blogger Aisha,