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Saturday, June 03, 2006A group blind date
Reina had a blind date last night and of course she dragged me along for moral support. Trust me I tried to get out of it, it was raining it was hot it was muggy it was humid there was thunder there was lightning …I didn’t want to get dressed up….there was a documentary on cable I wanted to see… she was not having it. Hell hath no more determined minion as Reina when she’s trying to land a man. This is the way it works with her blind dates if he’s fugly I am there as a buffer…if he’s cute I will never lay eyes on the guy again because from there on she will hang out with him solo.
Her date Brandon was mucho cute, he seemed like a nice guy and more importantly had been blessed with impeccable taste in humor, but more on that later. Not wanting to feel like the 3rd wheel or make her date feel uncomfortable I invited a date of my own, Mike. Then as we were exploring Manhattan Magz called and we all agreed to hook up with Magz and her crew over at Faces and Names on 54th street. It was official Reina’s blind date had now turned into a group outing but Brandon was enjoying himself so it was all good. He became my buddy that night he rarely left my side. I guess I made him feel comfortable because I was treating him as if I’d known him all my life teasing him and involving him in our conversations. I hate meeting a group of people that know each other and being the odd man out, it is so awkward. They’ll chat amongst themselves maybe even switch back and forth between their native language and English expecting you to keep up or jump in without a proper invitation.
My date Mike was a cop and with the exception of Brandon the whole group were students at John Jay so for the rest of the night we had a lot of criminal justice type humor going on. Yuk yuk yuk we are just so clever. Now here’s where Brandon’s impeccable taste comes in… he laughed at all of my jokes even the stuff I hadn't meant to be funny. I was batting a 1000 with this guy. It was like having my own personal cheer leader. I loved him!
As we made our way around the city I kept smelling booze but none of us were drinking so where was the smell of booze coming from? I looked around nope no winos around us. Finally I asked Officer Mike, "Yo do you smell liquor?” “No” When we got to Faces and Names we took a table and Brandon sat next to me with Mike on the other side of me and that’s when I was finally able to track the source of the distillery smell, it was coming from it was Brandon! Hark the herald my personal cheer leader was boozed up! I leaned towards Mike and whispered “Hey Officer Mike in your professional opinion is that kid drunk or is it just me?” Mike took a close look at Brandon then a whiff, “Yeah he’s drunk.” It turned out that Brandon was the shy type and prior to meeting up with us he’d sucked on a bottle of liquid courage. Being an extremely shy person myself I could sympathize with him. I mean not only was he meeting Reina for the first time but on top of that Reina informs him last minute that she’ll be bringing her posse with her? Ouch! Talk about stress! Damn that slore for stressing the kid out and inflicting all of us on him at the same time.
Mike ordered a round of drinks and Brandon had a couple of more shots. We were having a Bronx vs. Queens contest. It’s common knowledge that our peeps from Queens have to be pried out of their boro and can not hold their liquor so the Bronxites kept teasing the Queens peeps over it. I decided to stick up for my Queens peeps…”don’t baby-sit your drinks Queens show them Bronx bastards what you’re made of drink, drink, drink!!” It would have been nice if Reina had told me that Brandon was from Queens because the last thing that kid needed was more booze.
When the time came to go home we decided it best to drive Brandon home we didn’t feel right sending his drunk self home alone on the subway. Watching Reina flirting in the back seat with him made me laugh alas poor Brandon I shall never hear the sound of your drunken laughter again. Reina likes you and if you like her too it’s a wrap I don’t see you hanging out with us anytime soon. Once we got there Reina decided to walk him upstairs to his house…hmmmm I wonder why? (wink wink nudge nudge)
As they walked away Brandon yelled out, “I like Mia!! Mia has a good head on her shoulders!” People I have no clue as to what that was about. Officer Mike thought it was funny.
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