Saturday, April 08, 2006

Are You Gay Part2


I’d just landed in dream land as my tired body laid snuggled up in my favorite comforter with my pillows just so and Cleo snuggled up against me. I could hear my phone ringing, it sounded so far away but the reality of it was that it was a few inches away on my night stand. All of a sudden Joaquin Phoenix who was in the process of selling me some cobalt blue long stemmed wine glasses said, “Mia you’re phone is ringing. Pick it up.” It was 1 am…. I could barely make out the voice on the phone…

VOP: Are you sleeping?

Mia: (yawn) mmmm, kinda, (yawn) sorta.

Wtf was Joaquin Phoenix doing selling me glasses?

Mia: What’s wrong?

VOP: I need to talk to you about something

I felt myself drifting back off into dream land I was still asleep enough to go back to my dream and haggle with Joaquin Phoenix over the price of the glasses…I struggled to stay awake…man the comforter was so warm, my room had that nice scent of vanilla from the candle that had been burning in my room earlier.

VOP: Well can you talk or not?

Mia: Yeah man I’m up, I’m up. Stop yelling.


there was a sense of urgency in her voice. This conversation needed to take place. Never mind the fact that I was exhausted, Joaquin Phoenix would have to sell those glasses to someone else. I sat up and leaned back on my pillows. Cleo sighed and went to her doggie bed.


VOP: Did you review for tomorrow’s exam?

Mia: Yes

VOP: Did you print out your paper?

Mia: Yup

VOP: How many pages was it?

Mia: A whole bunch. What’s wrong?

VOP: (sigh) The other day… you asked me a question. The gay question. Remember I said I didn’t know?

Mia: umhm

VOP: I didn’t think you knew.

Mia: I still don’t

VOP: yeah I guess I am. Yes I am, no guessing. Yes I am, I’m gay.

what followed as a 3 hr conversation on revulsion, self-loathing, confusion, and fear.

VOP: Mia I have something else to tell you…

Mia: Ooh! Ooh! Let me guess… you’re a right wing Christian Republican.

VOP: you know you’re stupid right? (laughing)

Mia: Things have been intimidated, rumors have been spread but nothing’s been confirmed.

VOP: Mia be serious for a minute.

Mia: Okay I’m in serious mode… hit me up sister…

VOP: I’m in love with you

Mia: Wow.

it’s something else to suspect it but when it’s confirmed it’s tangible, not something that might be your mind playing tricks on you. I knew the sort of love she felt for me was not the same as I felt for her. Everything I was going to say was going to sound cliché but it was coming from my heart.

Mia: I love you, that goes without saying. I’m sorry it’s not the same type of love you feel for me but it’s real and it’s yours.

VOP: I know… I didn’t expect you to feel the same; you don’t have to say anymore. I know, I know you don’t feel the same way but I just had to get it out there as long as I was being straight with you. I just don’t want things to change between us.

Mia: Why would they? You’re you and I am me and together we are (clap, clap) the wonder twins! Look we’re still the same people we were yesterday nothing is ever going to change the way I feel about you. As a matter of fact lovers come and go but our friendship is eternal, it’s like herpes simplex nothing can get rid of it. It’s there por vida ese!

VOP: God you’re too much.

Mia: No I’m not. I’m just a handful; my mama tells me so all the time. Anything more than a handful is too much.

VOP: Mia you leave me breathless.

Mia: Are you saying I give you asthma, or emphysema? (laughing) You need an inhaler or something?

VOP: Ahhh man. Like the song, dumb ass. You leave me breathless.

Mia: What are you now Jerry Lee Lewis? Are you going to sing to me? Let me know now so I can hang up because you know you’re tone deaf. Last time you sang in public you made my uterus hurt, I thought you’d sterilized all the females in the room.


VOP: Hey, hey! I can sing…badly but shit I can sing. Yeah breathless like Jerry Lee Lewis and Breathless like The Coors I can’t hide from you, you see through me, you see into me. How do you do that? How do you become that person?

Mia: Clean living, and Flintstone vitamins. Damn you’re making me sound like this super amazing person. I’m just me man. What you see in me is you being reflected right back at you. I don’t think you realize how totally amazing you are. You’re a gift and someday you are going to knock someone off their feet and they are going to thank God for the day you came into their lives. Feel me?

VOP: Yeah . I just don’t want… you sure nothing is going to change?

Mia: it sounds to me as if you were expecting me to turn my back on you. Would it make you feel better if I did?

VOP: I dunno

Mia: Hold up let’s try this… How dare you say you‘re in love with me you you big footed lesbian you and to think you have seen me in my drawers! Lord knows what sick things you were thinking of as I stood there pulling out my wedgie in my grandma parachute panties! Oh yeah and another thing don’t be calling me no more in the middle of the night I was in dream land with Joaquin Phoenix dammit. There does that make you feel better? Is that what you expected from me? Did you expect me to run away from you?

the whole time I was on my rant she was laughing hysterically
VOP: Ohhh shit! You’re too too much. I don’t know what I was expecting.


Mia: If the situation were reversed would you run away from me?

VOP: No

Mia: So why would you expect anything less from me?

VOP: I was scared… wait you don’t wear grandma panties.

Mia: Aha you filthy slore ! I knew you were checking me out all those times I paraded around your room in my Hello Kitty bloomers! What did you think of the sponge bob square pants ones? Cute eh? I brought a pair too, so we can match.

yeah I’m really tired I need some sleep I’m discussing my underwear

VOP: You know what I love about you?

Mia: Well I remember you once saying it was because of the fact you can bounce a quarter off my ass.

VOP: Well yeah that is so cool and that flexing the butt cheeks to music is awesome. How the fuck you do that?

Mia: It’s a gift grasshopper

VOP: What I love about you is the fact that you’re so fucking open. You act like you don’t give a shit about what people think or say.

Mia: That’s because I don’t. I can’t live my life based on people’s opinions and neither should you. Live your life the way you want, because at the end of your life it is you that will be dying no one will die in your place. Die happy with no regrets. Life goes on. To thine ownself be true, pip pip cheerio and all that other stuff.

VOP: You wouldn’t die for me?

Mia: WTF I look like I got a Jesus Christ complex, dying for the sins of others? Oh hell no! Try nailing me to a cross you’re going to get some splinters up your ass.

VOP: So what now?

Mia: We take over the world Pinky. I don’t know. Just promise me you’re not going to get a buzz cut and start wearing plaid shirts every where we go. Seriously this is you’re life, what do you want to do?

VOP: I was thinking about a support group. They have a support group for what I’m going through?

Mia: Hey man they have support groups for everything. We’ll look for one and you can check it out if you want.

VOP: Mia what about our friends?

Mia: If they get all weirded out that’s their problem then those are people I don’t want as friends, do you? We could always get new ones.

VOP: You’d cut them off just like that?

Mia: Haven’t we always looked out for each other? Come on man you think that if someone disses you over this that I’m still going to be hanging out with them? Get real girl. If they mess with you it’s the same as messing with me. I’m more worried about your family more than the people we chill with.

VOP: Oh God they are going to beat the shit out of me when they find out.

she’s afraid of her family’s reaction and knowing her family the way I do I’m afraid for her as well. I really think she should wait until she’s on her own before she tells her family and tell her so.

Mia: No one’s going to lay a hand on you. They’ll have to come through me first to get to you. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.

there was nothing for a few seconds, I thought our call had dropped. Then I heard her crying.

Mia: (sigh) please don’t cry…

VOP: I don’t want anything to change me and you… I’ve been holding it in for so long always afraid and shit that some one’s going to find out.

Mia: Nothing is going to change our friendship. I’m comfortable in my own skin and you need to learn how to be comfy in yours. There’s no weirdness here on my part. The rest is on you. Baby girl baby steps, baby steps. We’ll take it one day at a time. I’m not going anywhere, I am not running away. Don’t close yourself off out of fear. Don’t cling to me because I am safe because no matter how much I care for you I’m not what you need or want. You understand?

VOP: Yeah dude. You’ll go with me to the support group?


Mia: Inshallah…If they let me in yes, if not I’ll wait outside for you. I just can’t quit you!!

VOP: WTF was that?

Mia: It’s a line from that movie I lent you. You still haven’t seen Broke Back Mountain?

VOP: Na

Mia: Slow ass Slore


VOP: Are you still spending the night tomorrow night?

that was the signal for the conversation to change, her mom had walked into her bedroom after seeing her light on.

Mia: Yes sir, well technically it’s actually later on tonight. Please don’t force me to eat your moms awful cooking, let’s eat dinner at my house and then go to yours or pick up some food from the chino-cubano.

VOP: Okay chicharron de pollo , my treat. I got some movies we could watch too. No homework, no reviews, or papers just relaxing tonight ok?

Mia: You got it, we need a night off. Can I get some sleep now? My dad already left for work.

VOP: Oh shit yea it’s 4:30 ! Mia…Thanks

Mia: For?

VOP: For being you.

Mia: Yeah, yeah whatever dude … The sun will be rising soon so make sure your mini blinds are drawn Dracula I don’t want you burning to ashes.
Good night, see you in a few hours .

She mentioned a couple of nice songs in our convo both of them titled “Breathless” here they are might as well give you some music ….


Breathless::The Coors


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Labels: friends, gay friends

Posted by @ 11:11 AM
5 comment from:  sadiq,  Just Jane,  Mia,  Emory Mayne,  Mia,