Friday, January 30, 2009

He's Nuts



I’d been so angry the first day I’d busted a blood vessel around my eye. We’d been arguing for two days. Well actually he was arguing I was fuming.He refused to let me talk each time I attempted to make a point he raised his voice and spoke over me. “You’re not hearing what I am saying!” he yelled. "I am hearing what you’re saying; I’m just not saying what you want to hear.” I calmly replied. "I sense a power struggle here." he said through tightly pressed lips. His hands were fisted at his sides. His knuckles were drained of color. "No power struggle here." I replied.

He was so angry he was shaking; his voice had gone all southern on me. He’d spent years as an actor taking voice lessons to hide his southern accent. I’ve noticed it only makes an appearance when he’s angry. He was mega angry now his accent was as thick as molasses. With any luck he'd be the one to pop a vessel.


"But I won't be there to supervise you!" he yelled.
"Newsflash sensei you haven't been supervising me for months."
“Dammit Mia, I’m your boss!” he snapped.
“Excuse me? You are not my boss let’s get this straight right now you are my teacher.” I said.
“Well, I am like your boss!”
I shook my head at him. “You are my mentor, not my boss and guess what this place is full of mentors."

I glared at him, I was not backing down.I could see the wheels in his head turning. He threatened me with a student’s biggest fear.

“I’m going to call your field supervisor, it’s obvious we can not resolve this. We need a conference.”

I crossed my arms defiantly, “I already called her. She’ll be calling you.”

He was shocked. I’d surprised him, he’d just discovered his little grasshopper had the heart of a lion and didn’t take kindly to being used as a whipping boy.

“Oh and another thing I don’t want you wearing jeans anymore!” he yelled and then stormed out of his office.

My sensei has been acting like an ass lately. He started out with the best of intentions but he’s obviously overwhelmed by all the additional responsibilities his recent promotion has heaped on him. As a result I have been left to fend for myself and am not being used to my full potential. The sensei seems to think I am a china doll that'll break if I do anything without him being present. I try to be understanding and have bent over backwards to accommodate him something that he has obviously taken for granted. Somewhere along the line within his mind I went from being his student to being his property, he forgets that I am there to learn.

He has refused to let me work with other departments despite the fact that it would be an excellent learning opportunity for me. In each case he refused the request refusing to give either me or the department head a reason for his refusal. When I was offered a position within a department whose target population is what I intend to be working with when I graduate I decided to do it on my own time. I’d come in on my day off and work with them that way he couldn’t object. He was less than happy about that and now we were arguing.

Jeans, he said I can't wear jeans anymore?! Ha! That's supposed to be a punishment? I collapsed into a chair trying to center myself to let my anger wash away. One of the counselors had heard us arguing and walked over to me.

“Mia, are you okay sweetheart?”
I nodded my head. I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. My face was flushed it looked as if I had a sun burn.
“Do you need to cry?”
I shook my head.
“Do you need to talk?”
I shook my head.
“My office is empty if you need to cry go ahead and lock the door no one will bother you.”
“No, I’m fine but thank you anyway.” I said my voice betraying how not fine I was.

The counselor’s voice was gentle and soothing the more he spoke the more choked up I became. He pulled me to my feet and hugged me, “It’s okay baby.” He said as he rubbed my back, “It’s not your fault something’s going on with him and he’s taking it out on you.”

That pretty much did it my tears began to flow and I squeaked when I tried to speak. He led me into his office a couple of other counselors trailing behind us. One of the counselor’s spoke. “It’s not your fault Mia. He’s an ass. He’s been on a power trip lately.” She said. “He’s jealous Mia he doesn’t want you working with any one else he’s afraid of losing you to another department.”

When I was finally calm I glanced at the pile of paper work on the desk. The counselor smiled at me, “I’m really behind in my paper work.” He said and shrugged his shoulders. “I could use some help here.” “I’ll come in on my day off and give you a hand with it.” I replied. He embraced me again and wiped the tears from my eyes. “ I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself. Watch yourself now and choose your battles wisely.” I nodded my head; he bent down and kissed me on the cheek, “No more crying okay? I can’t stand to see you cry it breaks my heart you remind me so much of my daughter.”

The next day I came in expecting another argument and was shocked. “Morning Mia!” my sensei said, “ would you like some coffee, or tea?” “No, thank you." I replied warily. For the rest of the day my sensei followed me around assisting me in all my tasks. I wondered what had happened to the angry sensei. This one was charming, witty, and jovial. I’ve decided the man is nuts.

Labels: internship

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