Mia: Shaken Not Stirred

The true life stories of a NYC female.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Lesson Learned

My friends find it hysterical that I will not hesitate to punch a guy out when it’s called for yet when faced with the details of their sex life I cringe. Contrary to what my friends may think I am not neither uptight nor a prude when it comes to sex. I’m a very passionate open minded female when it comes to sex. I just feel that what happens between couples should stay between them. I don’t feel the need to share the details of my sex life with my friends and I sure as hell don’t want to know theirs. Despite this or maybe because they love to see me flush red with embarrassment they insist on sharing their sex lives with me.

Thanks to them I ‘m developing a cell phone phobia. It all started about a year ago when my best friend handed me her cell phone. She told me that there were some really cute pictures of her baby stored in the phone that she wanted me to see. As I went through the baby’s pictures I came across some risqué pictures of her in all her glory and of her then lover’s personal junk. I handed the phone back to her as if it burned me. She laughed when noticed I was blushing, “God, Mia you’re such a baby!” After that day I refused to look into her cell phone.

Just when I thought it was safe last night my classmate, psycho chick decided to show me some pictures of her spanking brand new fiancé whom she wants me to meet. She showed me a bunch of pictures of them smiling together and some of him solo. It’s obvious she’s really in love with the guy... and then she showed me a picture of his penis. What is it with these chicks needing a picture of their man’s junk on their phone? I’m saying is the time between love making sessions so far and few they’re afraid they’re going to forget what his equipment looks like? Oh yeah and why on earth do they feel the need to share it with me? I’m not a nun, i'm not celibate, I know what a damn penis looks like.

“That’s all mine!” she said as I averted my eyes from the penis. “And you decided to show it to me. Wow I am so honored. Words fail me.” She laughed and then called my attention to the next photo and promised it was not pornographic. Just before she closed her phone she said, "Mia, check this out.” and clicked on a video clip. At first my brain didn’t register what my eyes were seeing, “Holy Monkey!” I gasped when I realized the video was of her stroking her fiancé off. I slapped my hand over my eyes lest I see him reach paradise and asked her to stop the video. I looked up at her, “Well meeting him is going to be kind of awkward now.” I said as I felt the color creeping into my cheeks and the tips of my ears getting hot. “Mia, you are such a prude!” she said as she embraced me.

Moral of the story? Next time someone asks me to look at the pictures stored in their cell phone I’m walking away. I’ve learned my lesson.

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Posted by @ 11:03 AM
3 comment from: Blogger Ritardo Garsiferis Anvil the White, Blogger christina/ohio, Blogger Tapsalteerie,