Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Guns On Campus:WTF?!


I was watching a local morning show yesterday in which they discussed being allowed to carry concealed weapons onto school campuses and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It seems that in the after math of last year’s Virginia Tech shooting people have basically developed a Wild West mentality.
There’s a group of college students that want the right to carry guns on campus. their main argument seems to be that if students are armed they could stop situations like what happened at VT. WTF?! Uh huh assuming you were a perfect shot but the question is how many more innocent people would be hurt while el loco and the class Rambo exchange bullets? You know real life is not like the movies, the hero’s bullets don’t magically evade the innocent and hone in on the villain killing him instantly. Look if you’re that scared of getting shot while in school then make head to toe Kevlar a daily part of your school gear.

In order to bolster their argument they cite the Second Amendment. Yeah it’s true that the Second Amendment of the United States Constitution allows rights for people to carry weapons but in what context the founding fathers meant it is still a topic of debate. While some see it as an okay to bear personal arms others think that it meant to bear arms in the military context. Look I wish I could say that school shootings don’t happen but I think Columbine and VT taught us different but still it is a very rare occurrence. I know that offers no comfort but the reality of like is you never know when or where you’re going to come across a nut case with a gripe and a gun.

If students and teachers are allowed to carry guns onto campus I’m not so sure school shootings would be a rare thing at all. Heaven forbid you’ve got a student all stressed out over his grades approaching a professor with a gun, “What bitch you gave me a c- on this paper. I needed at least a B!” as he cocks his gun, the professor whips out his gun from his desk, “Check yo’self foolio!”, he yells at his student, “Say hello to my little friend!” … followed by the sound of the class ass kisser cocking her own gun, and it’s a wrap bullets flying over the place. I can picture it now simple disputes being settled in the halls of colleges all over America like back in the days of Wild West.“Meet me by the student union at high noon you yellow bellied side winder!”

I don’t know about you but having armed students and teachers on campus sure makes me feel a hell of a lot safer. As a matter of fact I say colleges and universities should issue the students guns with school logos on them automatically upon registering for classes. Fuck the school t-shirts gimme an uzi with the school mascot on it anytime! The type of gun issued to the students would depend on their status. Part time students should be issued one of those little jammies like a .22 mini magnum. Fulltime students get a pocket glock so easy to fit inside of their lap top carrying case without being too heavy. Night students should definitely get a .44 magnum with a silencer so they wont disturb the peace late at night plus 2 active hand grenades for maneuvering the streets after dark on their way home from class. One can never be too careful you know.

Freak it I say we go to school armed to the teeth. I’m going to customize a leather trench with concealed pockets and arm myself with ninja stars, daggers, and steel toed shit kickers with a concealed blade built into the heel. Freak it I’m going all out! I want a cross bow and poisoned tipped blow darts too… mess with me and “patoosh” get one to the neck.

Labels: guns, WTF

Posted by @ 9:53 AM
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