Mia: Shaken Not Stirred |
|
Brand Spankin'
Submitted For Your Approval...New Bathing in the blood of virgins stick to sir and m’am you’re better off that way Icing on The Cake My Favorite Childhood Memory of Christmas. As ready as I’ll ever be for this exam. And So The Search Continues... Free Bird Christmas Belle Welcome "Z" ! Book Lovin' Blogs
The Good, The Bad
& The Not Too Cute Archives
September 2004
October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 October 2009 December 2009 January 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 January 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 |
I dig the writing so much
I'd read their grocery lists If published
Karen Marie Moning Gena Showalter Kresley Cole Alianne Donnelly Liz Maverick Emma Holly Dianna Love Sherrilyn Kenyon Jennifer Weiner Jim Butcher
Blogs Me Likey!
Dear Darla
A Starving Writer's Blog Victoria's Blog Egyptian Sandmonkey Fried Spam Just Me In Ohio Kuma's Space Lost In America Petite Anglaise RoseByAny@-;---- Tapsalteerie Farms The Anchored Nomad
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 2.5 License.
|
|
Monday, January 07, 2008A scurrilous lieA group of people were at the bus stop preaching, their mission on this cold day was to save as many BX36 riders as humanly possible. I cursed at myself for having misplaced my headphones and not being able to drown the sermon out with music. Try as they might on this particular day none of the sinners were interested in being saved but I'm pretty sure it had to do with their style of preaching all fire and brimstone finger wagging in the air. Instead of making you want to embrace the message it left you wanting to judo chop the messenger in the throat. A family friend approached me on his way to the store and attempted to play catch up with me until the traffic light changed. Finally the light changes and he was gone. I leaned out of the bus shelter to see if the bus was coming …nope, no bus aqui. As I stepped back into the bus shelter I made eye contact with the preacher who had been listening in on my conversation. Awww crap I did it to myself! The man walked over to me and pointed his finger at me… Preacher: Jesus LOVES you! Thank you for the reminder sir I love him as well it's just organized religion I have a problem with. The people with him gathered around him like back up singers. A few choruses of amen rang out in the air. I said nothing instead I do a poor imitation of my iguana and closed my eyes…if I can’t see it then it’s not there. I rubbed my eyes and opened them slowly…awww crap the preacher man and his backup singers were still there. “Mia, be nice no smart ass comments please.” my subconscious yelled out at me. “Fine, fine, esta bien (okay)!" I shot back. Preacher: My sister, my child I will pray for you tonight and continue to pray for you that you continue on your path. That you never want for anything. It makes the Holy Father proud when one of our children does good. He stared at me as if he was expecting a response… Wow that's really nice of him. No Mia, don’t do it don’t you freaking dare do it… but it's a really sweet gesture on his part...shut up…don’t talk to the man…you’ll get a sermon if you do..shhhh Mia: Uh thank you sir. He smiled at me and came closer his little posse took a few steps forward as well. Crap You’ve got no one to blame but yourself…damn you female! Preacher: Have you accepted the lord Jesus Christ as your savior my child? I gave him a tight lipped smile hoped he’d move on, he seemed glued to the spot. I heard the bus engine turning over on the opposite end of the block. In a matter of minutes it would be turning the corner making its way to our stop. Not getting a response from me the preacher tried another tactic. Preacher: Do you drink, do you smoke, do you take the lord’s name in vain…do you fornicate girl? AHHH on occasion yeah I’ve been known to hoist a few, cigarettes no, Getting no response from me he tried another approach… Preacher: Are you aware that Jesus died for your sins?! WTF?! Why it always gotta be my sins? I actually didn’t start consciously sinning until the late 90’s thank you very much and by that time Jesus was long gone. He’s not letting me off the hook; my silence was obviously some sort of sign to him. Preacher: Well young lady? Do you know that JESUS died for YOUR sins?! Aww to heck with it... Mia: My sins, me specifically? The preacher gave a triumphant smile and looked at his posse. He had made me talk. Preacher: Yes your sins. The bus pulled into the stop, the crowd began to board it. Mia: Sir I am offended! I must inform you that the accusation you’re leveling at me is a scurrilous lie! That rumor was started by Carmen Martinez during our senior year to keep me from being elected prom queen! Before he could respond I ran up the stairs to the bus and the doors closed. I looked back to see him glaring at me. Aww come on preacher man that was funny! Where's your sense of humor? I know Jesus has a sense of humor after all Pat Roberston is still alive and kicking. Somehow I doubt he’ll be praying for my salvation tonight. Labels: bus stories, religion, smartass 5 comment from: Mia, , Mia, DannieS72, Mia,
|