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Monday, October 16, 2006Perdoname...(Forgive me)
Several weeks ago I saw a man cry, a man I thought incapable of tears. It brought me no satisfaction to witness the event despite my own anger at him. Her anger however had quickly evaporated and turned into disappointment. The pedestal she had placed her friend on was now crumbling beneath his feet. The effects of his actions against her loved one were being felt by the entire family and beyond in terms of hurt, anger, and divided loyalty because see what people often forget is that when you do something to one person there are a hundred others affected by it.
When he arrived for dinner his eyes immediately searched for her. She spotted him and took the exit furthest away from him out of the room. She wasn’t ready to talk to him yet. He quickly went after her catching her by her arm in the vestibule of the second floor. I was trapped in the ante- room of the vestibule. There was no where for me to go except through them or back into the small room. I faded back into the room picking up a book trying to concentrate on the words instead of what was about to happen before me.
His hands went to her face holding it as he leaned in to kiss both sides of her face, she put her hands on his chest to stop him…“My love I’ve missed you so much.” he said and stopped to look at her twirling one of her long ringlets in between his fingers. He tried to pull her in to hug her, again she resisted. Instead she gave him a cold hard look. He stepped back looking confused, “Habibi what’s wrong?” he asked and from her poured a mixture of tears, emotions and words… even though she spoke to him in a kind manner her familiar loving tone was absent . “How could you?” she asked over and over again,” I thought you were better than that.”
He tried to make her see his side. He implored her to understand that his anger had gotten the best of him. Every time he tried to touch her, to reach out for her she pulled away from him. She refused to accept his explanations or his excuses. “You’re angry at me.” He said grabbing her hands in his and kissing them. “No I am not angry. What I am is disappointed. I am disappointed in you.” She said pulling her hands away from his, poking her finger into his chest for emphasis. She then grabbed his face holding it close to hers, staring into his eyes. “Where is that kind gentle person, my life long friend, my brother? What have you done with him?” she said. “I’m sorry. So very, very sorry.” He said, “It’s not me that you need to be apologizing to. ” she said putting her forehead against his. “What you did can not be taken back, but you need to find a way to make it right.”
Then she delivered the final blow, “I always thought you to be a better person and it broke my heart to find that you were not.” she leaned in and kissed his face as a tear rolled down her cheek. His wiped it away with his fingertip and rested his hand on her cheek. “Please forgive me.” The pain in his voice was so corpulent you could reach out and touch it with your hands. “I’m so disappointed in you my friend.”and then she walked away from him and back down the stairs. I felt his pain as he crumpled onto the vestibule chair his head in his hands. I think he would have suffered less if she had struck him and called him something really vile. He could deal with that. What he couldn’t deal with was her disappointment and tears. After a minute he picked up his head someone was calling his name. The sight of him wiping his tears on his sleeve will stay with me forever, it broke my heart. I wanted to run after her and beg her to please forgive him. I know I already had.
Note: Translation of 1st chorus:
I request peace to this war, I want to lay down my arms
To end this hostility, that leads nowhere
I propose a truce , I plead to your conscience
Mine's is already killing me, the one speaking to you has surrendered
he’s lost all his strength, and today comes to beg
And to ask for forgiveness
forgive me, forgive me,
Don’t make me cry, words fail me
forgive me, forgive me
what must I do, if you want I’ll surrender at your feet
6 comment from: The Krispy Dixie, phoenix, christina/ohio, Mia, Emory, Mia,