Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Tears


My last class had just ended and one of my classmates a police officer got paged by his precinct. He wasn’t the only one from the looks of things. A good 70 percent of our student body is made up of police officers and fire fighters those that were in school today were being called to duty. He let out a heavy sigh and looked at me, “I have to go in to work we’re all being called in…a plane crashed into a building.” My head started spinning I felt my heart leap into my chest…tears already stinging my eyes… good lord not again not this fucking shit again… “W-w-what?” He didn’t have any more information other than that. I watched him leave not knowing what he was going into. I prayed that he would be safe that they’d all be okay. We all ran to the library looking for some news was it another attack? Wtf was going on? It took me back five years ago to 911. I had been in school when the news broke. God not again I thought to myself not again.

I grabbed my phone and instinctively dialed home. I wanted to go home.“Ma? Have you heard? What’s going on? All of the cops and firefighters are being called out of my school.” “Mia a plane crashed into the condos over on 72nd street the ones on York Ave.” “Ma is it…?” “No baby not this time. At least I don’t think so think about it 72nd and York what’s down there other than stores, rich people and expensive residences? Nothing of symbolic importance to terrorists…I hope. They’re not sure if it was a helicopter or a private plane nothing has been confirmed yet. Hold on sweetie they’re saying something on the TV… Okay Mia it’s not terror related and it was a mall private plane…the fires are almost under control…”

I was relieved and then it dawned on me someone was in that plane. Perhaps someone’s husband,wife, lover significant other this had been someone’s son, daughter.. maybe someone’s father, mother? Man so sad it’s so damn sad yet I was happy? How could I be happy? Okay not happy in the wooo hoo let’s throw a fiesta and beat up on a piñata happy I was relieved yeah that was it. Relieved. I was relieved that it wasn’t another terror attack yet I still felt the tears ready to explode…was it relief? Was it sadness over the lost of life? Was it PMS, hormones? “Ma?” my voice was choking up…”It’s okay baby. We were all scared you weren’t alone. Come home darling skip your work out today the trains are going to be packed people are being evacuated from that area avoid the east side.”

I rode the subway home in silence every where people seemed like me they were in a state of semi-shock, relieved yet saddened by what had happened. The news was filtering all over the city the plane had been belonged to one of The New York Yankees a pitcher by the name of Cory Lidle, 34 years old a husband and father of a six year old boy. So very sad. I arrived home and the news was on I walked past the TV I didn’t want to see the video footage brought back too many memories.

Just then my phone rang…it was my friend Guaynette. Reina, Angie and me had spent last night walking her 9 month pregnant ass all over The Bronx hoping to make her labor easier. She was in the hospital two centimeters dilated. I felt a familiar sting in my eyes…tears…but this time they were flowing for a different reason…joy…despite the tragedies of the world life goes on…despite our hidden fears…despite the hate…despite the pain of loss ….despite it all life goes on…when I sat down to write this several lives had been destroyed in a ball of fire…by the time you read this a new life already precious to his parents, his family, precious to my friends and I will have slipped into this world bringing joy with him easing the memory of this horrible day. My tears then will be in celebration of the miracle, the gift of life.

Labels: 9.11

Posted by @ 9:58 PM
8 comment from:  Aisha,  Mia,  Aisha,  Mia,  The Krispy Dixie,  Wendy aka Cheeky,  DannieS72,  Mia,