Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Who am I, what am I doing here?



Have you ever questioned your existence your reason for being?
Have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered,"Who am I, what am I doing here?” Lately I’ve been questioning what my purpose in life is. My friends seem to be interested in making huge piles of money and living the “I’m so rich I can wipe my ass with $1000.00 bills” type of life. That lifestyle doesn’t interest me. I look at people running around spending ridiculous amounts of money on designer clothing, bags… driving these luxury cars and I wonder what is the point of all of this? I look at a $1,300.00 bag in a catalogue and my minds wheels start turning thinking about how that money can help a child living in poverty here in the US or in a third world country. I see the rich and famous running off to other countries to adopt the latest accessory, a foreign baby,and wonder what about the countless kids in this country stuck in foster care waiting to be adopted, waiting to be loved.

I’ve been having a bit of trouble getting to sleep lately, tossing and turning brain working on over time sort of thing. Last night I just couldn’t take it anymore and hopped out of bed and practically ran into the living room looking for my mom, I needed to talk to explain to her what’s going on with me.

For the past few days a friend of mines has been trying to tell me that there is no money in the field I have chosen to make my career. She can’t seem to understand that I chose my field not for money but because I want to help children and teenagers. I feel that my purpose in this life time is not to be rich, but instead to help as many as I can. My mom understands where I’m coming from and tells me that as long as I’m happy doing what I do and feel that I am fulfilling my life’s goal then she and my dad will be happy for me.

The reason I haven’t been able to sleep lately is that I have this idea in my head and as I’m trying to sleep the idea germinates and it’s just grown into gigantic proportions. The thing is I can see it clearly in my mind. I want to start a non-profit organization for kids being aged out of the foster care system. Too often these kids are left with nothing, and no place to go.

My dream is to have a building as a hostel for these kids and provide the following on the premises : counseling, medical services, mentoring, college prep programs, housing assistance, rehab services, educational services, day care for students and working parents. These kids would be referred to us by ACS and social workers and would stay with us until we are able to find them their own housing. How am I going to accomplish this? I have no idea! I’m just starting the research on it now.

As an infant I had several brushes with death, my heart stopped a couple of times and doctors told my parents I wouldn’t last out the week. I was even given last rites, that’s how certain doctors were that I was going to die. My identical twin didn’t survive yet I did and I feel I was given the gift of life for a reason I have a purpose in this world. Hopefully now that I’ve spoken about it and thrown it in the air and have realized that this is my destiny, that this is what fate has dictated to be my life’s path I now can get some sleep!

Labels: about me

Posted by @ 1:20 AM
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