Mia: Shaken Not Stirred


The true life stories of a NYC female.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Robertson strikes again...


Oh my Christmas has come early for me! This is the second time in a week that Pat Robertson has said something that has made me say WTF?! I’m sure he says “WTF?!” inducing things more often than that but it’s the second time this week that it’s made headlines. Check this out, Pat Robertson told the citizens of a Pennsylvania town that they had rejected God by voting their school board out of office for supporting "intelligent design" and warned them on Thursday not to be surprised if disaster struck. WTF?! Is Robertson threatening the good people of Pennsylvania?! Sounds like a threat to me! Who does he think he is Tony Soprano?!

”I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: if there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God, you just rejected Him from your city," Robertson said on his daily television show broadcast from Virginia, "The 700 Club." WFT?! First FEMA proves to be incompetent and now Robertson is telling us we can’t count on the good lord in our time of need?! "And don't wonder why He hasn't helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I'm not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that's the case, don't ask for His help because he might not be there," he said. Yeah Dover, take that!! WTF were you thinking?! Don’t you fear the wrath of Robertson errrr I mean God?!!

As we all know Robertson, has a long record of apocalyptic warnings and provocative statements when angered. Last week he blamed the tornado in Kentucky on Warren Beatty and in 1998, Robertson warned the city of Orlando, Florida that it risked hurricanes, earthquakes and terrorist bombs after it allowed homosexual organizations to put up rainbow flags in support of sexual diversity. Can you imagine growing up with this guy as your dad and forgetting to do one of your chores? I can just hear him now,“Cindy, you wretched heathen! God will smite thee with painful boils for not cleaning your room today!!”, just then the room would turn pitch black, furniture would start shaking Robertson’s head would spin around 3 times lightning bolts shooting out of his ass. A swarm of flies would cover Cindy from head to toe and when Beelzebub sorry I meant Robertson finally commands them away poor Cindy would be shivering in pain, her ass covered in painful boils.

Robertson needs some serious anger management. This man is always on a violent tip. Whatever happened to “love thy neighbor” and “turn the other cheek”? Last summer, he hit the headlines by calling for the assassination of leftist Venezuelan Present Hugo Chavez, one of President George W. Bush's most vocal international critics
In voting on Tuesday, all eight Dover, Pennsylvania, school board members up for re-election lost their seats after trying to introduce "intelligent design" to high school science students as an alternative to the theory of evolution. I don’t know why Robertson seeing that he has all this pull just didn’t ask Jesus to rig the election.

Supporters of intelligent design argue that certain forms in nature are too complex to have evolved through natural selection and must have been created by a "designer." Yeah it makes more sense that a white man with flaxen wavy hair looking a lot like actor Jeffery Hunter in “King of Kings” sitting on a throne surrounded by angels designed humans…yup it makes so much more sense than evolution. Opponents say it is the latest attempt by conservatives to introduce religion into the school science curriculum. The Dover case sparked a trial in federal court that gained nationwide attention after the school board was sued by parents backed by the American Civil Liberties Union. The board had ordered schools to read students a short statement in biology classes informing them that the theory of evolution is not established fact and that gaps exist in it; unlike the theory of design which is an established fact ever since God’s drawing pad was found in the Turkish mountains. They know that it was God’s because there was a gigantic golden pencil laying near it with the erasure on fire. It also had a list of things to do in 7 days and creation of the world was on the top written in gold.

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