Mia: Shaken Not Stirred
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Friday, November 25, 2005Chocolately good with a hint of strawberries...
A few weeks ago I posted something about my friend and her refusal to leave her assholyish boyfriend. Well yesterday in between stuffing my face with everything but the seafood salad on the buffet table I spent the day listening to her talk about him. It seems he has a space page and refuses to acknowledge his relationship with her putting himself out there as single. Meanwhile the girl he is cheating on my friend with leaves him lovey dovey messages on his comment section. Sounds like a teenage soap opera doesn’t it?
My friend was so outraged by this that she broke up with him and came over to give me the good news…wait, wait don’t break out the cheese and crackers yet! I didn’t expect it to last and neither should you. About an hour after the break up he calls her…the stress of the break up has triggered an asthma attack he needs to be taken to the hospital. My theory? The realization that he will now have to pay his own bills spooked him. My thoughts were “Beast get the fluck off the phone, suck on your inhaler and move onto your next victim!” Then he calls her up again….he’s going to kill himself!! If he had called me I would’ve recommended several methods he could’ve used, too bad he doesn’t have my number. Well the fact that he said he was going to kill himself brought her around and she got back together with him. I’d like to point out he felt well enough to attend a concert with the other chick while my friend got to stay home pouring her heart out to me and dealing with my smart ass remarks.
Finally she tells me last night, I’m getting fed up with him.” You go girl!! Then she lays the big one on me, because you know it’s always the other girl’s fault that a man cheats it’s never everrrr the dude’s fault (cough..cough..bullsnit) “Mia”,she says,”until I see them together I am not going to believe it.” Dammit I knew it was too good to last! “Ahhhh I see, perhaps you would like 8x 10 glossies of them bumping ugly as well?” I respond. My mom heard me and gave me the raised eyebrow look, “Mia that was cruel, be nice….want some cake?” and left to get my grandfather some more pumpkin pie.
At that point all the turkey I’d eaten started kicking in and I was feeling tired and in need of a serious nap… I felt it was time for a dose of reality…plus my mom was in the kitchen so I was safe from the raised eyebrow… “Look babe if that is you’re attitude then whatever happens from here on whatever he crap he throws your way you deserve and don’t have a right to complain.” She seemed shocked at my attitude and told me you’re tired of hearing all of this aren’t you…” “Nah man it’s not that. You’re a fantastic person and don’t deserve this crap, but if you’re not willing to make the change then why keep advertising the fact that he’s a jerk? You’re only making yourself look stupid. You’re not even coming across as a victim. You’re coming across as a world class sucker. You really should start seeing other people; keep your options open because these days you seem to be spending more time with me than with him. Meanwhile he’s whooping it up with the other chick.”
“I can’t cheat on him!” “Ohhh I see because he is so faithful to you okay I got it….” Just then my mom and her raised eyebrow came in waving a piece of her chocolate cake in front of me; and like a deer caught in the headlights I was distracted. My friend was momentarily saved from anymore of my wise ass remarks at the expense of my waistline…God I love Thanksgiving! It’s the onetime of year when stuffing my face with chocolate cake is a good thing…it saves someone’s ego from being bruised. It’s the one time of year when swallowing my words doesn’t leave a bitter taste in my mouth…it actually tastes chocolately good with a hint of strawberries.
4 comment from: dazevarder, Aisha, Mia, Aisha,