Mia: Shaken Not Stirred

The true life stories of a NYC female.

Friday, May 15, 2009

The Omnipotent Ones Were Just Waiting For Me To Let Down My Guard

For years my friends have teased me about how the oddest things always seem to happen when I’m around. We’ve been locked inside of an out door running track... stalked by an ankle humping Chihuahua... chased through the subways by a gang of angry looking ASL signing deaf mutes... followed by a giant Kotex with wings all over the village on Halloween. Lately things have been quiet. I thought that perhaps the pantheon of mischievous gods who’ve enjoyed messing with me felt I was no longer worthy of their attention. I was wrong. The omnipotent ones were just waiting for me to let down my guard.

As I walked past the man I heard him say something to me. Despite my headphones I’d heard him and I was knew he was talking to me because he was looking dead at me. I removed my headphones and he repeated what he’d said. Holy Monkey! At that exact moment one of my friends decided to text me.

She: What u doing?

Me: feels very disturbed with the vulgar message a looney told her while she passed by.

She: So now you’ve got my interest...lol what was the message?

Me: Let's just say it has something to do with licking a certain lady part lmao

She: Oh wow... what the hell? I'm sure u provoked it lmao j/k

Me: What? I had my headphones on I was like did I just hear right?
Riverdale is full of crazy people!!!!
Ughhh oh yea and while I'm waiting for the bus, dude lifts up his shirt rubs his belly meanwhile his fly was wide open!!!
I was like what the hell? Lol
I couldn't move anywhere I was at the damn bus stop! Lol

She: Lmao... sounds like u need some mace lol.
I see u haven't lost ur knack to attract the nutcases lol

Me: Please you take the cake!!
Remember that homeless guy with the bongos?
" IIIIII love you perup-pa-pa-pommmmm!!" Lmao

She: Naw that was the combination of the 3 of us lol

Me: Yea I loved how u left us behind! Lol

She: I just sped up, ur so dramatic lol

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