Mia: Shaken Not Stirred

The true life stories of a NYC female.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Ritardo This Is For You…

In a recent post I commented that I’d met someone shorter than me. For those of you new to this blog I’m 4ft 11. My blog buddy Ritardo had this to say about that, “sorry, but I will admit I do like the shorties. My wife is 5 foot even. She hates it but I just don't know why.” Ritardo this one is for you...

You never find adult clothing that doesn’t need to be altered. Even the petite sized jeans need to be cuffed. By the time you're done altering those way cool jeans or slacks it took you forever to find whatever attracted you to them in the first place is long gone. Bell bottoms loose their bells; straight legs lose the ultra skinny leg look. Long sleeves extend over your fingertips and then some. Waist length coats and jackets never end at your waist... thighs is more like it.

Capri pants which are designed to end mid-calf or just below the calf end at your ankles instead…losing all of the Capri-ness in the end. Mini skirts come to your knees…micro minis are minis…and don’t even try to wear an off the rack broom skirt it’s not going to work, you’ll only end up looking like your playing dress up in your mama’s clothes. Oh man and let’s not even get into hosiery! I avoid panty hose because they are so long on me I can actually wear them as a strapless cat suit.

Then there’s the friends who like to tease...they’ll hold their hand out a couple of inches above your head,“you must be this high to enter” they’ll joke. They take photos of your dangling feet whenever you take a seat. No one and I mean no one ever passes the chance to remind you how short you are when they witness you struggling on tippy toes to reach something on a shelf. God love them they can’t help themselves. Oh yeah, then there are the tall male friends who L-O-V-E to physically pick you up and carry your around like a toy. I had a boyfriend one time sneak up behind me while I was talking to some friends lift me off my feet and run down the block with me as if I were some sort of football.

Friends live to give you little pet names pertaining to your lack of height...wittle won…little one…itty bitty....mini me...mini mia…the midget…pocket mia…shorty…short stuff…sweet and low. They look at your small hands and feet and say, “awwww” the only way to find a pair of proper fitting gloves is to buy them in the kid section. Then there’s slow dancing. You have to really careful when slow dancing with anyone over six feet tall because it easily looks like a porn flick in the making. And finally your parents purposely buy you a bed so tall that you have to jump up to get into it just so they can laugh.

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Posted by @ 10:33 AM
4 comment from: Blogger christina/ohio, Blogger Tapsalteerie, Anonymous Darla, Blogger Mia,