Mia: Shaken Not Stirred


The true life stories of a NYC female.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Some Advice


I was reveling in the warmth and goodness of my café con leche when a friend approached me about some relationship problems he was having with his girlfriend. He had cheated and lied and got caught. He couldn’t understand why she couldn’t forgive him when he was truly sorry. After listening to him for awhile I put my hand on his shoulder and delivered my verdict. “The problem here is not your girlfriend the problem is you. You’re a lying pig. Nobody likes being lied to especially on a consistent basis. What the hell are you a politician in training?” The look on his face was priceless; I took a bite out of my croissant, sipped some coffee and waited for his response.

He was shocked and offended I know this because he told me so. “Look man if you don’t want to hear the truth then I’m the wrong person to talk to. The fact is that when it comes to females you are the worst. You have no respect for their feelings. I’m not saying you’re a bad person; you just need to grow up. Your problem has always been that you let your penis do the thinking for you.”

I could tell that at that moment I was not one of his favorite people. “So what do I do now?” he asked. “Duh! Talk to her and be honest with her! ” “Okay” “Oh and more thing, do it in person none of this text messaging, over the phone, or emailing crap. Talk to her like a man face to face.” He excused himself to call her to let he know he was coming over to talk. As I walked past him I heard him arguing with her, “But I’ve always told you the truth except when I was lying!”

Maybe I should’ve thrown in some pointers as to what to say along with my advice.

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Posted by @ 11:53 PM
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