Mia: Shaken Not Stirred

The true life stories of a NYC female.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Soccer Moms In The Mosh Pit

Years from now if I develop lung cancer due to second hand smoke it will be traced back to the concert I was at last week. Every time the band finished a song the lead singer would light up a cigarette. After every single freaking song. And since I was just a few feet away from him the smoke was curling up all around me french kissing my mouth and weaving it's way around my hair, skin, into my nostrils and my lungs. I'm guessing that by the time the concert was over he and I went through an entire pack. By the time I left the place my mouth tasted like an ash try. Not that I go around licking ash trays but you get the idea. Let's just hope they were low tar.

Last week I went to see HIM. My friend Guay has loved them ever since high school so I got her some tickets as a surprise and promised I’d go with her. I had a hard time getting into the concert because of what was going on around me. The employees at the arena were young urban peeps who looked like they were more into Jay-Z than HIM; let’s just say that when the opening band took the stage and began their set the look on the staff’s faces said it all. They would have rather been working any other concert but the one at hand. It was precious.

The concert really was a rated R event and 13 year olds (and younger) had no business there. Guay and I were kind of shocked to see that these kids some barely out of elementary school were into HIM as well. It seems to me that kids today are are going EMO and Goth younger and younger these days.

Usually Guay and I will go all off at a concert dancing like Whirling Deverishes but it’s kind of hard to get into the groove of things when your back is being watched by soccer moms in the mosh pit. Soccer moms in the mosh pit people! How did I know they were soccer moms? They wore the soccer mom uniform down to the haircut and stood with their arms crossed against their chests a few even had their fingers plugging their ears. Of course me being me my smart ass auto pilot kicked in full force, let’s just say the soccer moms were less than pleased with me. I’m sure my mom will be getting a note from then any day now demanding I be put in time out.

“What the hell yo are The Wiggles playing here tonight? Why are all these kids up in here? Don’t these parents know this isn’t a place for kids? ” I said observing the soccer mom with her arms folded across her chest a couple of feet away from me just before some kid accidently body slammed into her causing her to stagger back a bit. At the sight of that Guay and I started laughing. I know for a fact I was annoying the heck out of her because after that every time she got jostled by a kid I’d crack jokes on her. “First of all my mother would never be here but Guay can you imagine ma here in a mosh pit?” “Oh hell no ma would be in here throwing punches if somebody slammed her. Shit they’d be taking the person out on a stretcher!”,she added as she imitated ma throwing punches. The soccer mom glared at us, I smiled at her and Guay continued talking, “There’s no need for them “Guay said nodding her head to the smattering of soccer moms standing off the side to us, “to be down in the mosh pit if they must bring their kids here they can sit up there and see all the action down here.”, she said pointing the row of seats above us. “Na Guay this is closer in case the kid gets a boo-boo and needs a band aid or gets dehydrated and requires a juice box from the mom’s fanny pack.”

Look I’m a really big proponent of families doing things together but I think at some point a line has to be drawn. If parental supervision is needed in order for your kid to go to a concert then your kid has no business being there. Seriously you know your kid better than anyone else and if you can’t trust him to behave out in public when you’re not around then keep his ass locked up in your house until the necessary social skills required to be let out in public without the parental units are finally developed. But then again it’s not just the kids some of the parents there just made me cringe with the crap they were encouraging and letting their little spawns of Satan get away with. Let's just say it makes me look at parents and young teens in a whole different light. I was really disappointed with the parents.

There was a couple standing in front of me in the middle of the mosh pit madness making out. I couldn’t tell what sex they were but for the sake of this post let’s make them a hetero couple. The kids were no more than 13 years old and not only were they swapping spit as if they were dehydrated and they had to share one sip of Gatorade but they were groping each other as well. Guay had to physically restrain me from pulling their little pimply faces apart and lecturing them although she couldn’t prevent me from nudging them with my shoulder. I stared down what I assume was the girl and told her, “Yo kid shouldn’t you be at home watching Hannah Montana or High School Musical?” Then there was a girl who looked no older than 15 and was practically naked. Her outfit screamed Gothic hooker. The outfit was too revealing for anyone not dancing for money on a stage with a pole in the middle of it. The front was cut down to her tummy revealing what I assume was supposed to be cleavage, there was no back to the outfit just a bunch of “strings” crossing back and forth. Her long cigarette skirt was cut up to her panty line and she had on so much make up she looked as if Jackson Pollock had used her face as a canvas. Now imagine that look on a body still in the throes of development not having shed their baby fat yet or developed curves. She was tugging at her blouse trying to make it go lower and asked her parents how she looked. The dad actually said, “You look hot honey but then again you always look hot in whatever you wear.” The mom just smiled and nodded her head up and down like a demented bobble head. I wanted to punch both of them in the face.

I’m not even going to get into the amount of teens I saw getting drunk on the beer their parents had purchased for them at the concession stand. I hope their pay back was a back seat full of vomit on the drive back home. What is it with some parents today why are they in such a hurry to help their kids grow up so fast? Can't they just say no or is it that they are reliving their teen years via their kids? Minus the angst of course.

Wings of Butterfly -HIM

Buried Alive By Love- HIM

Right Here In My Arms -HIM

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