Mia: Shaken Not Stirred

The true life stories of a NYC female.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Ebony and Ivory

I’d arrived at school early hoping to get some studying done before my test. The school library seemed like the logical spot. Nice.Quiet. Everyone there was doing their own thing. Silently. I needed that more than anything. I needed to focus on the material in front of me. All was peaceful until these two chicks came in and decided to sit next to me. Ebony and Ivory were talking about men when the black chick stated that she’d been dating a white guy, a doctor in fact.

Good for you mija now STFU people are trying to study here.

The white chick pressed for more details about the guy which the friend willingly and too loudly if you ask me provided. Alas it seemed there was a problem in love central even though he was gorgeous, even though he was perfect, even though he treated her like a queen, even though she was totally nuts about him she was going to dump him. “Why?” asked the white girl “Duh because he’s white!” “And?” the white chick shot back. “Well put it this way could you bring home a black guy to your family?” Her friend nodded. “Oh bitch please! You know damn well you can’t bring no black guy to your house! Your parents would have the only shit fit!”

Sweet mother of reason did this chick just say what I thought she said? Oh for the love of God the heffa is an idiot. Granted a really pretty idiot, but an idiot none the less. Que pendeja! (what a fool)

I couldn't help but look up at the pendeja. She inclined her head at me and shot me a look that spoke volumes. In her eyes gleamed the implication that because we were both minorities we had shared racial experiences in common. Her eyes pleaded with mine as if to say, “Come on sister help me out here with this crazy white girl you know what I’m talking about!” I stared back at her and shook my head in disgust. Uh uh my Nubian sister I do not know what you’re talking about. I’m an equal opportunity dater; color, race, religion means jack to me and my family. As long as the guy isn’t a married cross dressing necrophiliac serial killer with a penchant for bestiality all is cool with my parents. I shifted in my seat and went back to my notes.

The white girl waited for her friend to take the comment back and when she didn’t she leaned over the table and into her friend’s face. She raised her voice while slapping her chest with her open palm, “Excuse me but you’re talking about my family! WTF yo are you calling my family racist?!” “Well if the noose fits…” “What the hell are you talking about nooses for bitch?” She let the comment wash over her not understanding what Ebony meant by the remark. Then a light went on over her head and her eyes got real wide, “Oh my god you are calling my family racist!” Heads snapped to attention and people started to drift over to our table to watch the argument that was starting to take shape. I scanned the room for another table but none were available. I slipped on my head phones hoping to drown them out and went back to studying.

So help me Jesus if they start swinging near me I’m going to repeatedly heffa slap whoever lands on me until the cows come home and tap dance on the porch.

While I couldn’t make out what they were saying because of the music blasting in my ears I could clearly read their body language, fists all balled up at their sides, faces all contorted, even "heard" the rumble of anger in their voices. It wasn’t pretty. I wished that the ugliness would move away from me. A few minutes later they moved their argument out into the hallway but they could still be heard in the library. The argument raged on for several more minutes before they stormed off away from each other. Ebony and Ivory would not be living in perfect harmony well at least on this day. I sat there and thought how idiotic it was that in this day and age people were still letting something as insignificant as skin color come between them and love.

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