Mia: Shaken Not Stirred


The true life stories of a NYC female.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

One of life’s many mysteries


This is something that totally amazes me, one of life's many mysteries as my mother is fond of saying. File it under things that makes you scratch your head and say wtf? My mother is a light sleeper. A feather gently cascading on plush carpeting will wake the woman up from the deepest of slumbers. I call it "mommy hearing". I guess it comes from years of being a mom and listening for:

::1:: Babies fussing in the pre-dawn hours

::2::Toddlers climbing out of their beds

::3:: Grade schoolers “quietly” cooking in the kitchen

::4:: Teenagers trying to sneak into the house past their curfew

::5:: Drunken college students coming home at the break of dawn bearing stolen fruit.

My pops on the other hand can sleep through anything which explains why has never been put on curfew patrol. The man has been known to fall asleep standing up. He’s even been known to sleep with his eyes open; something that scared the shit out of my mom when they first got married. The other night we had a slight plumbing emergency and mom asked me to wake dad up and let him know what was going on. “Don’t jostle him you’ll scare him and he throws punches!”, she called out to me as I entered their bedroom. I stood over my father and in my best indoor voice began the call to revelry…

“Pa” I said, and got no response from him. “Pa….Paaaaa…Papi !” I hissed.

Zzzzzzzzzzzz

Uh huh…better try it in English now.

“Dad… oh dad… daddy…psssst daddy… hey father…oh father of mine…. Dad…daddy-o…daddy-kinte…dada…da-ha-ha-deeeee daddyyyyyy….pssssttt…hey daddy amin dada.”

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

“Pssstttttttt pa, papi” “Hey mister… pssstttt father.”

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

“Hey you!"

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz

“Mira tu senor, psssttt papi, padre, father, dad, daddy, husband of Magda. Father of Steven, Caity and Mia, owner of Kane…child of William senior and Fefi. Psstttt William…Willie, Bill, Pa!...Kane is eating your slippers! Pa we can’t find Kane! Wild pitbull on the loose!....Dad? Pizz-ops?"

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Time to call in for back up “Ma he’s not waking up!” “What do you mean he’s not waking up? Is he breathing?!” giggling “Yeah ma, he’s snoring.” “Hold on I’m coming. He does this all the time.” “Yeah ma you know this. I don’t know why you sent me to wake him. It never works.” “Hope springs eternal nena…carajo... I'm a freaking optimist, sue me.”

Ma stood at the door to their room I tried again, “Papi”

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

She raised her hand for me to stop, “watch this.” she didn’t even make an attempt to cross over to their bed she stood right there at on the threshold. In a gentle voice barely above a freaking whisper she said, “Honey, babe…?” and just like Dracula rising from his coffin at the hint of night my father shot straight up in bed. “Yea baby wassup?!” he said rubbing the sleep from his eyes and smiling at my mom. I was stupefied! She explained the problem to him and he quickly got out of bed tousling my hair as he walked by me, “Hey boogie you just got home?” “Pa I’ve been trying to wake you for the longest!” “Oh I’m sorry boogie I didn’t hear you.” I looked at my mom, “Woman how the hell?” she shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know kid let’s chalk it up to one of life’s many mysteries.”

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Posted by @ 5:31 PM
8 comment from: Blogger DannieS72, Blogger Ritardo, Blogger phoenix, Blogger The Krispy Dixie, Blogger Jane, Anonymous DiiGMaa, Blogger Emory, Blogger Mia,