Wednesday, April 12, 2006

If only she had read my post on body adhesive.



I was standing outside of Jimmy’s Restaurant reflecting on the day, waiting for the light to change when this lady emerged from a cab looking kind of lost and started walking in my direction. Her attire was what I’d call the standard wannabe video vixen outfit.

Here in The Bronx not only do the robins emerge at the first hint of spring but the common chicken headed pigeon emerges from its nest as well in search of a baby’s daddy. The common chicken headed pigeon is a sight to behold with their ultra long acrylic garishly painted talons, perfect for snatching up an unsuspecting man's wallet. Their eyebrows waxed and tweezed into an arch that would shame "The Rock" and their hair dyed and highlighted in colors not found in nature.These girls are ready for the mating call of spring.


She was sporting mega tight jeans and teetering on ridiculously high heels. Her spandex tube top thingy looked a little too small for her and every few steps she’d pull on her top because it kept riding up on her. This was going to go down bad for her I could smell it in the air. It was obvious she had not done a test run on the outfit before hitting the streets. I was worried for her.

As I was saying you didn’t have to be psychic to see what was going to happen. It was like a bad car wreck you don’t wanna look but you just can’t turn your head the other way. After one pull too many she had a wardrobe malfunction and her boobs popped out. I was mortified for her and said to myself “Oh man it sucks to be her right now”. I slid out of my blazer offering it to her as she wrestled with her uncooperative boobs trying to stuff them back into her tube top with no success because the top had become a twisted up mess. By this time more than a few people had noticed what was going on and were pointing and laughing at the lady. She pushed my blazer back at me and ran into the Old Navy Store next door hands unsuccessfully trying to cover her boobs. I assumed she headed to the dressing room to fix herself up. I can only hope she brought herself a new top while she was there.

Poor lady if only she had read my post on body adhesive.

Labels: advice

Posted by @ 10:06 PM
5 comment from:  Mica,  Mica,  Mica,  Goggles Piasano Ritardo,  Aisha,