Friday, March 10, 2006

Impromptu Therapy Session


The topic of conversation yesterday in Group Dynamics was sex. Various group members took talking about sexual preferences, positions, sex toys, bondage, and S&M. Then the session started sliding into sort of impromptu group therapy session as one by one the females of the group began opening up and revealing painful details of their lives.

One girl had been raped at the age of 16 by a male acquaintance at a party. She was scared to go to the police and of her then friends advised her to forget about. Sometime later she bumped into her attacker on the beach and just basically crashed. She’s been in therapy ever since. The trauma of the rapes has left her with sexual issues in regards to men to the point where she is unable to sustain a relationship.

Another girl said, “I’m that girl in high school that in 80 degree weather would be wearing long sleeve shirts to hide the bruises.” She had been with a boy since she was 14 until the age of 18 and he would beat her. She never said anything to anyone; she kept it all to herself. I’ve known a few girls like that. They love the guy, believe his promises of change, and believe he is genuinely sorry, sometimes they even blame themselves. Oh he’s just looking out for me trying to make me a better person. They think to themselves.


There was one girl whose story affected my friend on a personal level. The woman had been married to this guy for 5 years. They got hitched straight out of high school. She thought they were happy, she thought they had a good marriage. Then one morning he woke up and told her he didn’t love her. He told her he had never loved her. He packed his bags and left her that same day. Just like that.

That particular story struck a note with my friend and she began opening up about her past to our group members. With venomous force she announced that all men were bastards, and spewed out epithets and theories on men that shocked me. I held my hand up and stopped her and told her,” it’s not all men it’s just the men you choose and when someone tries to tell you about them, and the mistake you’re about to make you don’t want to hear it. Instead you choose the garbage over your friends.” My friend looked hurt and nodded her head.


By the time the professor launched into the topic of the day we were all exhausted. The session we’d had amongst our selves has been emotionally draining. I did notice the girls seemed to look better, relieved all except my friend. She is holding so much in, poor girl. After class I thought about everything she has gone through in her life in terms with her parents, and I feel this has a lot to do with the choices she makes in men. I told her I really think she would benefit by getting into therapy my professor feels the same way. Now the trick is to convince her.

Labels: education

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