Thursday, March 02, 2006

Becoming My Mother


I’m worried about my friend, nothing new I know. But while Angela has climbed out of the darkness Reina seems to be wallowing in it, loving it and abusing all those she comes in contact with as a result of it.

It seems I was right about the married guy, he dumped her. He's probably macking to his next victim as I write this. I saw Grinch The Broken Hearted looking kind of dejected.She finally told me what happened omitting the painful details. Somehow saying “I told you so” and doing the "happy, happy, joy, joy dance" didn’t seem appropriate. Rather than chalking it up to one of life’s lessons and moving on she’s holding it in and driving the rest of us to the point where we want to beat her senseless, revive her and beat her senseless all over again. Bets are being placed on who is going to be first to snap. My money is on the chick who serves us our coffee and bagels every morning. I was pretty sure she was going to put Reina in a head lock this morning and beat her down with a stale bear claw. Good thing the coffee machine is right out there in the open otherwise I’m sure Reina would have been sipping on mocha saliva latte.

Once upon a time Grinch The Broken Hearted was a happy, carefree, giddy chick. However as the years have passed and relationships have taken their toll on her she has become an increasingly bitter, and pessimistic shrew. It’s getting hard to be around her she is so cranky and obnoxious. In short she’s becoming her mother right down to the bulimia. I shudder at the thought, it fills me with dread. Meanwhile much to my dismay I find myself becoming my mother, granted a much smaller, tan version of my mother but my mother none the less. See the thing is my mother told me this would happen but I refused to believe her. Imagine my shock when in a moment of anger I seemed to be channeling her, right down to the smart ass comments after losing my temper with Grinch The Broken Hearted during one of her more obnoxious moments with a sales clerk. I keep warning her she has to tone it down because one day someone is going to reach over and slap the fillings out of her teeth. I was so shocked by my behavior that I had to call my mother...

Mom: Hello …

Mia: I just want you to know I blame you for this woman.

Mom: Who is this?

Mia: Your child.

Mom: Mia?!

Mia: Yeah ma, I just want you to know I blame you for this. It’s your fault mother.

Mom: You're damn skippy it is baby, that and Jimmy Hoffa, and global warming. Maybe a few holes in the ozone layer over Brooklyn too. No, no wait I take that back your grandmother is responsible for those. So what the hell did I do now pookie lips?

I explained to her what had happened

Mom: (laughing) Oh … I don’t know what to say. Good for you!

Mia: But ma I lost it with Reina. You didn’t see her face ma she got scared.

Mom: About time. Look she needs to learn if she’s going to dish it out she better be prepared to take it. If she had come out like that to me I would have knocked her on her ass. Don’t stress the turning into me thing. You’re a good person mija far better than me that’s for sure.

Mia: Oh no ma, don’t get me wrong I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. I just saying you said it would happen…how did you know? You even predicted the age when it would happen. How did you know?

Mom: Mother’s intuition kid. Actually I thought you would break out at 22 but then again you were always a late bloomer. I blame it on you being born 3 months premature.

Mia: Anything else I can expect to happen to me ma?

Mom: Depends baby girl …how do you feel about dating a Korean med student whose family has ties to the Yakuza?

Mia: What?!!
Mom: Honey I gotta go. your aunt is on the other line. Bye, love you!


I really need to have a talk with that woman when I get home

Labels: about me

Posted by @ 5:35 PM
3 comment from:  Aisha,  christina/ohio,  Just Jane,