Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Best Part of Waking Up


Sometimes the best part of waking up isn’t the Folgers’s in your cup. Sometimes it’s your hard of hearing neighbor. It was early morning when I zombie walked my way into the dining room in search of coffee.

I was startled by the tiny elderly lady sitting at our table. I’m sure I’d startled her too but she was too polite to mention my appearance, my mother was not. I’d fallen asleep the night before while my hair was still damp from the shower. Nilda’s eyes swept over the origami like sculpture my ‘fro of curls had formed while I slept. My mother looked up and winced, “Jesus Mia run a brush or a pitch fork through that thing. You look like an escaped mental patient.” She said. “Good morning Mia!” Nilda chirped. No one should be that cheerful that early in the early morning. I mumbled my greetings at Nilda, flipped my mom the bird and headed straight for the carafe of coffee on the table.

The television was on to the local morning news so I decided to join the ladies at the table while I drank my coffee and waited for the weather report. I didn’t have long to wait. Mike Woods, the weather guy was half way through the forecast when Nilda let out a gasp.

“Ay Dios mio did you hear that? What a racist thing to say! ” Nilda was incensed. “How could that Moreno (black man) say something like that?!”

“Huh?” I mumbled, I wasn’t fully awake yet.

“Didn't you hear what he said?” she asked.

“Huh?” I repeated for those who’d failed to hear me the first time. I had no idea what she was talking about…I wasn’t alone neither did my mother.

“Nilda, what are you talking about?” mom asked.

“That Moreno he said to watch out for the black guys! That’s not a nice thing to say.”

“Huh?” yeah it was me again.

"Oh!” my mother said before she started giggling, “Nilda, he didn’t say watch out for the black guys…he said watch out for the BLACK ICE, the roads are slippery!”

I nearly choked on my coffee. I was awake now.

Labels: Embarassing Moments, morning people, racism

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Posted by @ 9:14 AM
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Thursday, May 03, 2007

Morning People

My uncle Chino is a morning person…I hate him. Every morning he literally wakes up at the crack of dawn happy as a kid hopped up on Pixie Stix and cherry Kool-Aid. He’s always been this way even as a kid. My mother his sister by the way is also a morning person which makes me suspect that this deliriously happy as miser with a pile of gold type of morning behavior is inherited.

This morning around 6:30 my uncle came into my room in search of a battery for his MP3 player. The sun was cascading into my room, a nice breeze carrying the faint scent of spring flowers through my window, my pillows were just right, my bed comfy and my burgundy sheets were clean and crisp in short I was in sleep nirvana. My beloved uncle knowing full well that I'm a light sleeper cheerfully yelled out, “Good morning Mia!” as soon as he saw me stir. I wanted to fling something at him.


“Mia …Mia why did the chicken cross the road?” he asked. I slowly opened one eye and tried to focus on him… “Why did the chicken cross the road?” he asked again. “To stab the bastard that woke her up.” I replied arching my eyebrow hoping he'd take the hint.

Don’t get me wrong I have nothing against morning or morning people. The world is a much better place for them. Just let me shower and have a cup of tea before you enter my room singing this song and dancing as if you were a contestant on American Idol.

Labels: family, good morning, kool-aid, morning people, pixie stix, uncle.pixie stix

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Posted by @ 9:41 AM
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