Mia: Shaken Not Stirred

The true life stories of a NYC female.

Friday, April 18, 2008

The Pope Is In Town

All I’m saying is that banging your hip really hard into the sharp corner of a dresser does things to a person. Certain allowances should be made and moms who werethisclose to becoming a nun should realize this.

As the throbbing white hot burning pain radiated throughout my hip I let out a few choice words…

-Holy Monkey that hurts!

--Are you okay nena?

-No.Dammit…carajo… God flipping dammit!


--Ayyyyy God dammit! Holy Monkey!


--Oh for the love of flipping Jesus and all the saints in heaven. Crap, crap, oh freaking crap!


--Ay Dios Mio! In the name of the flipping Father, the Son, and the god damn Holy Ghost ma I think I just saw Jesus Christ run by in his fruit of the looms! God Damn that sucker is fast!


-What ma?!

--Don’t take The Lord’s name in vain! The Pope is in town!

-What is the Pope going to do ma revoke my baptismal certificate, make me pay restitution for that stale assed communion wafer Father Pepe Le Pew fed me during my first holy communion? Is the Pope going to take back my rosary beads?!

You know for a 45 year old left handed stroke survivor my mom has pretty quick reflexes.
I never even saw the balled up tube socks leave her hand but I sure as hell felt them when they thudded against the side of my head.

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