Mia: Shaken Not Stirred

The true life stories of a NYC female.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Dijonaise the child not the condiment...

My cousin Heavenly Angel

Several blocks away from my house near the projects there was this beautiful little girl running away from her mom. Dijonaise! Dijonaise get ova here right now! However the woman wasn’t yelling for the condiment, Dijonaise was her daughter’s name. The current generation of ghetto fabulous  project chicks are very unique when it comes to naming their children. A lot of thought goes into the naming of their children. They want it to be as unique as possible. They don’t want to find at least four other kids in their child’s daycare center with the same name.

My parents’ generation of ghetto fabulous project chicks turned to African and Swahili names for their children to signify their ethnic pride. Or they’d take an ordinary name and make it extraordinary by dividing it, adding an accent mark or changing its spelling. For example Janet became Ja’net, and John became Jhan.

My generation has trumped the generation before us. We’ve climbed much higher on the evolutionary naming ladder. We’re just been naming our kids after hip hop artists, luxury items, booze and crap we don’t have. Hence the kids I’ve seen kids that are named Porsche, Lexus, Hennessy, Alize, Chardonnay, Merlot, Gucci, Fendi and Versace.  I’m anxiously waiting the day when I come across a kid named College.

I’m telling you project chicks in my generation are no joke, especially in the naming department.   My cousin Christina and yeah she’s a hard core ghetto fabulous project chick in every sense of the word, named her baby Heavenly Angel. Sound like a porn star or a stripper doesn’t it?  See a name like that is tempting the hand of fate. I can only pray to god that she grows up to be drop dead gorgeous because anything less is going to cause some smart ass kid to crack jokes. Then I’m going to have to roll up my sleeves and snuff a kid.  So far so good she’s still adorable looking at the age of 2, hopefully she’ll take after her mother.

My sister goes to school with group of siblings named after precious stones. There’s Diamond, Emerald, Topaz and Zirconia the boy is named Onyx.  I often wondered if Zirconia felt less loved or if she was an unwanted pregnancy seeing that she was named for a synthetic stone.  The way things are going in terms of naming babies I fully expect to be coming across a few kids named Flonaise, Claritin, Zyprexia,  and Ambien in another 5 years.

Posted by @ 11:32 PM
5 comment from: Blogger Obese Girl, Blogger Mia, Blogger Jane, Blogger Boyd, Blogger Emory,