Mia: Shaken Not Stirred


The true life stories of a NYC female.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Just say NO!



LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (Oct. 13) - Michelle Duggar just delivered her 16th child, and she's already thinking about doing it again. Johannah Faith Duggar was born at 6:30 a.m. Tuesday and weighed 7 pounds, 6.5 ounces. Arkansas Mother Gives Birth to 16th Child
For the love of Kannaki, Goddess of Fertility, why????!!!   At this point Mrs. Duggar's not even given birth anymore they’re just falling out of her. All of her children have names that begin with the letter “J” which is cool because this way anything that is monogrammed can be handed down to each new arrival. However I noticed she’s running out of “J” names one of her kids is named “Jinger” I may not be the world’s greatest speller but even I know that Jinger begins with a G. I know this because I double checked it by looking at mom’s spice rack and even Microsoft Word keeps correcting me when I type in "Jinger". Pretty soon she's going to have to start making up names!

I like kids, love them, in fact  hope to have a few myself one day, but 16 crumb crushers and she’s only 39? What is this the old country?? Back in the day when dinosaurs roamed the earth and booze was illegal my great grandma Rosa had 15 kids. But that’s because birth control implied a chastity belt and a whip and she was raised a strict Roman Catholic.I’m sure Rosa trembled in fear every time my great grandfather Gilo had an erection. Even though she loved all of her children I‘m sure my Rosa had a party, piñatas and all the day that grand dame called Menopause knocked on her uterus’s door.

So back to the Duggar’s, I remember watching a documentary on these people last year. Very nice people and they have the money to support their kids which is fantastic! My question however is : what the hell is wrong with this woman? She just gave birth to her 16th child and is already talking about her next one. For the love of God woman do you start eating lunch while you're finishing your morning coffee? When my mom had me the doctors asked her jokingly about having another one. My mom shot back, “Shit once those labor pains hit I wasn’t too sure I wanted this one. The hell with another one, I want my tubes tied!”

For the first 6 years of my life I was an only child. When I was 6 my parents wanted to enroll me in communion classes and went to our local church. The priest asked if I had any siblings and my mom told him I was an only child. He assumed my mother was using birth control because I was an only child and admonished her about it. He told her, “You know Maggie that using birth control is against the church’s teachings” and went on to quote scriptures and all that good stuff. My mom’s hackles were raised and she told him. “father no disrespect intended but I’d rather have one child and be able to provide well for her than have a whole bunch of kids and struggle to clothe and feed them.” The priest continued lecturing my mother. Unfortunately for him he had no clue as to whom he was dealing with, “Father let me ask you this. If I were to have 7 or 8 kids right now and my kids were hungry and needed clothes would you dig into the collection plate and give me money? If I came to you every month do you think the church would support my kids?” He then told my mother that it was her responsibility to provide for her children. And my mom said, “my point exactly, my children,and it’s my responsibility to provide for them you’re telling me I cant count on the church to help me out if I have a passle of kids. So if it’s like that then what gives the church the right to dictate to my womb? Why all the kids so that the church can have more little Catholics running around to support the church and be available to the pedophile priests?  When the pope has a womb and a uterus then he can tell me what to do with mine.” I love that woman….lol

The Duggars see children as God's blessing and I agree children are a blessing, unless they’re neighbor’s kids. Those children are the spawn of Satan. Heaven won’t take them and the minions of hell have been warned about letting them in. The devil cowers in fear at the mention of their names. I can tell whenever they’re around the temperature shoots up at least 10 degrees when they walk by. Personally I think Mr. Duggar should just say NO when it comes to a 17th kid and wrap his sucker up next time he's in the need of some lovin'.

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