Mia: Shaken Not Stirred

The true life stories of a NYC female.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Ask Mia...

People have been googling me again in an effort to find answers to their most vexing questions. So I’ve decided to do a weekly “Ask Mia” post.

Athens, Attiki wants to know “ suitable ring for fat finger?”

I’m thinking an even fatter diamond. Not practical you say? Fine here ya go. A marquise diamond can make her hands and fingers look more elongated. Stay away from square diamonds; You can't go wrong with a round; and rectangular diamonds will add the appearance of length.

Tucson, Arizona wants to know ‘how can I stop the room from spinning when I’m drunk?”

As a proud member in good standing of The Drunken Fairy Coven I’ve been the victim of the spinning room more times than I care to admit 3 out of 5 times it ends up barf bad...really bad if you get my drift. Nothing and I do mean nada can make the room stop spinning. No matter how hard you grip onto something/someone or pray to sweet baby Jesus the room will not stop spinning. I know I’ve tried all of those methods and more.

Let me tell you why the room spins when you’re drunk. It won’t help you one bit but it’s good to know stuff like this. You never know when you’re going to appear on a game show or something. I had to look this up by the way: “Alcohol changes the density of some of the bits of your balance system. Your balance sensors are in each inner ear on each side of your head. There is a small blob of jelly, attached to the VIIIth Cranial Nerve.

The blob of jelly normally has exactly the same density as the liquid (endolymph) which surrounds it. So the little blob of jelly in the liquid will neither sink nor float - but it will move if there's any acceleration going on. When it moves it stimulates the VIIIth Cranial Nerve, which then sends signals to your balance centres in your brain.

When alcohol gets into the blood stream, it slowly diffuses into the endolymph, and makes it more dense. So the little blobs of jelly begins to float, and this stimulates the VIIIth Cranial Nerve, giving you the impression that your bed is spinning.

As the night wears on, the alcohol gradually diffuses into the blob of jelly as well, making it as dense as the liquid it floats in - so the spinning sensation lessens. After a few more hours, the alcohol begins to leave the endolymph, so now the blob of jelly is slightly denser, and you get the impression of spinning in the opposite direction. “

In other words Tucson there’s nothing you can do about it except sleep it off . Oh yeah and check this out you could go to sleep with the room spinning one way, and wake up with it spinning the other way. So pray to the great god of booze, Bacchus, I believe would be the head cheese in that department that you sleep through the entire night.

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