Mia: Shaken Not Stirred

The true life stories of a NYC female.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Fat Santa

Somewhere in an unknown part of the universe exists the secret head quarters of The Political Correctness Gestapo Squad. The squad is comprised of all forms of human society. Most likely picked on as children for one thing or another and unable to forget the past the adult members of the squad are easily identified in public because of their dour faces and ramrod stiff walk thanks to the stick permanently embedded up their asses. Every now and then they issue a PC degree so idiotic it boggles the mind and makes me wish that through the power of telekinesis I could remove said stick out of their asses.

The latest decree from the PC squad has been issued by their England branch with an active interest in a shopping mall in England. No fat Santas allowed. According to them Santa Claus yes THE Santa Claus the very same guy who used to feed my addiction to all things Barbie back in the day is too fat and because of this he will be banned from setting up shop at their mall unless he slims down. They seem to feel that his jelly belly is a poor example to children and have set up a boot camp of him and his helpers.

WTF?! Come on people get a life... what next are they going to wash his mouth out with soap because when he laughs it comes out “‘Ho-Ho-Ho”? Is PETA going to run up on his ass and accuse him of reindeer abuse because he keeps them out all night pulling his sleigh? When is the madness going to stop? Maybe the next step will be to go after Buddha and his rotound belly.

(Sigh) The world was sure a nicer place when I was eight years old. I hope he leaves them a lump of coal in their stockings.

Link:Stores to Santa: Slim Down or Else

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