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Thursday, November 10, 2005Hope is a 4 letter word...
What is it about women that makes us cling to the hope and belief that jerk ass lovers are capable of change? Is it part of our DNA? We’ll stand by them through thick and thin all the while waiting on the next pile of manure to be dumped on us.
We say,"that’s it no more I’ve had enough” only to come back when called. To forgive it all just because he gives us the standard,"Babe I know i'm messed up but I love you and I don't want to lose you." speech. Incidentally I believe that the speech is standard issued to them once puberty hits. It's a part of their DNA and set for time release.
Once they start showing signs of having entered puberty the “I know I’m messed up speech but I love you so much” along with the “It’s me not you" speech are automatically released into their blood stream. The speeches then become embedded into the male subconscious, ready to be put into use when the right moment presents itself. Spewing out of the male’s mouth automatically and with such conviction that even the male is amazed! He never he knew he had these speeches in him. He didn’t even know he could be so articulate! He is shocked and amazed! He then files the speeches away in the file cabinet of his memory to be used over and over again in his life.
I have a friend in school and she has one of those jerk ass unemployed and not even attempting to look for a job boy friend that uses her money like he’s earned it. I guess he figures why he should work when she is employed and well off and he can suck the life force out of her ass. He cheats on her, takes advantage of her kindness and love for him. But then it’s her that has to prove to him that she loves him etcra. You know the drill we all have at least one friend like this I call her the Pendeja (fool)
Everyday I listen to her talk about her troubled relationship. Everyday I tell her dump him, you deserve better but does she listen? Nope. I’m sure there’s a bunch of issues and insecurities going on with her that we haven’t touched upon yet which make her cling to this bastard as if he were the last life preserver on a sinking ship.
My best friend Reina has just gotten to the point that when the Pendeja starts to expound on her latest jerk ass boy friend drama Reina tunes her out and says,"I don’t care, I don’t want to hear it”. I’ll just sit there nodding my head listening to what she says and let her unburden herself. She needs someone to listen to her and I’ve been elected to fill that position.
I am a very blunt person and prone to smart ass commentary. My friends know this and accept it, they even encourage it. However I know that not everyone can handle my bluntness and at times I have to tailor it to the individual. The Pendeja is one of those people you have to sugar coat things for. I’m not really good at that. I prefer to give it to you straight. So usually I will keep my smart ass comments to myself out of regard for her feelings. Not last night. I choose to blame it on the fact that I was tired and had been hearing the laundry list of complaints all day…and now she was “talking” about the same crap via the internet on my AIM … she was telling me that he had just called her after not hearing from him for several days to tell her he loved her and to remind her of all the things he does for her. WTF?! I quickly surmised his phone bill must be due and he needs money.
Mia: What makes you thing he’s going to change?
The Pendeja: HOPE
Mia: (sigh) Well you know what? HOPE is a four letter word just like FUCK and he is FUCK…ing you over!
The Pendeja: (dead silence)
Just then Reina called me and I told her what I said, and she started laughing hysterically saying, "I bow down to you, I bow down to you!”
I was in one of those stupid relationships for many years… although my ex makes her man seem like a king among princes. I walked away from the relationship out of respect for myself and never turned back. I can only hope that my friend one day opens her eyes and does the same because she deserves better. In the meantime she clings to that four letter word, “Hope”.
11 comment from: Aisha, Jane, jen, sadiq, Emory, christina/ohio, sadiq, JaCLyN, Mia, oleg, nasser,