Tuesday, April 26, 2005

It ain't that serious....I'm outta here...

I did it I quit my job at the restaurant... or is it diner? I still haven’t found out the answer to that question. It was a spur of the moment thing. I walked in to start my shift on Sunday and something just came over me I walked up to the manager and told her I was quitting and thanked her for the opportunity of working her. When I left I felt the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. I then headed out to the mall and went job hunting.

I should tell you what made me finally quit. I liked the job, hated the work atmosphere. It all came to a head on Saturday night just before my shift ended.The manager approached me and tells me,” Maria I need to tell you something. I don’t want you to hate me.” Now I’m intrigued … “this is coming from me not the boss.” Ahhhaaa go ahead sister lay it on me….. “I want you to change the way you dress” “what’s wrong with the way I dress? Jimmy (the boss) told me this was fine no one has ever complained.” “You and I are the face of this restaurant when people come in we are the first thing they see.” … a huh go on I say to myself…. “I want you to dress more like me.” I look at her out fit, pants so tight they look painted on, and a shirt cut so low I’m pretty anyone a little bit taller than her can see the top of her navel; her cleavage being the main attraction of her shirt. My eyes popped wide open, “You want me to dress like a porn star? What the hell this ain’t Hooters!” I tell her, “ I have clothes some what like yours, actually I have a very nice wardrobe but Jimmy doesn’t want me to show my tattoos, and if I wear anything low cut it’s going to show the top of my tattoo.” She then suggested I wear an open shirt over something low cut again I remind her of the tat on my chest. She then tells me she wants me to start wearing makeup to work. I’ve been known to wear makeup every now and then but it’s not my thing and with my allergies in the spring the thought of mascara and eyeliner is frightening.

She then tells me she knows I like my job here and that I shouldn’t take my cue on how to dress from the girls behind the counter that work the late shift. I take it as kind of a threat you know bend to her wishes or I’m out. I tell her that when I started working there I asked specifically if there was a uniform that I should wear. Jimmy's wife saw what I had on and said that what I was wearing was fine; just to wear comfy shoes/ sneakers since I was going to be on my feet for 10 hrs a day. I looked down at what I was wearing…. Nice plain short sleeved white cotton dress t-shirt from old navy with a round neck. Dark plain PePe jeans pressed and hemmed, black sneakers, black sweat shirt jacket since it was cold outside and I’m standing next to an open door all during my shift. My hair was slicked back and in a pony tail because it was a rainy day. One pair large silver hoop earrings and 3 very small hoops in descending order in the other piercing in my ears, my white gold name plate, and a few rings. My nails long and well manicured. No make up today just a touch of lip gloss… I barely was able to get my contacts in that morning my allergies were so severe. She made me feel so “damn un- pretty” to quote a TLC song from a few years back. I felt ugly. My mood turned from curious to wanting to slap the taste out of her mouth. I guess she saw this and backed down and tells me,”Maria I like you I don’t want you to hate me. Please don’t hate me. I tell her, “relax it’s not that serious.”, and go about my business. That’s my mantra in life whenever something goes wrong or my friends are losing their marbles over one of life’s little dramas, “it’s not that serious.”

I looked around the place and saw what she was getting at. All the women there tend to dress like they're going clubbing, very sexual. They flirt with the male customers. I understand they do this in order to get tips. In order to keep the men coming in. But that’s not me I’m not there to flirt, or push up my breasts in a mans face, no where in my job description does it say I’m to wear the tightest jeans possible and wiggle my butt for the men that come in. That’s not me it’s not who I am I don’t believe in using my sexuality to advance myself especially for no 15 percent tip. I’m not even getting tips so why do I need to look all “hoochified??” I realize I don’t fit in here.

When I got home I spoke with my parents about what had happened they were both pissed off. My dad went on one his funny rants. My mom sensed that this woman had hurt my feelings that she had made me insecure about my looks. My father said that this was nonsense that I didn’t need to feel insecure that if I was ugly Jimmy would have never hired me. He’s known for actually turning away qualified women because he doesn’t find them physically attractive. My dad told me that when he first saw me he remarked to my dad that I was pretty and had beautiful eyes my dad’s response to that was for him to calm himself down and remember that I was his (my dad’s) daughter and the same age as his own daughter. It didn’t make me feel any better.

I thought about what the manager had said all night meanwhile this is a woman who last week had worn a see through mesh shirt with a fabric insert only in the front covering her boobs everything else was open to the eye. Several women customers had commented to me that they felt the shirt was inappropriate for a family place perfectly acceptable for a bar or strip club but that it wasn’t kosher for a this place. I shrugged it off and said “to each his own.” I thought to myself this is the way she wants me to dress. I’m supposed to emulate her style. I couldn’t do it and that’s what spurred my decision to quit.
So now I am unemployed… but at least I did what felt right for me…i thought about it long and hard and decided it ain't that serious I can find another job and i'm outta here...

Labels: careers

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