Monday, December 31, 2007

stick to sir and m’am you’re better off that way


My parent’s generation of Nuyoricans is old school Latino. They were raised with the traditions and sense of moral etiquette of their immigrant parents that at times seems lost on Americanized Latinos and Americans. A common pet peeve among old school Latinos is having strangers address them as “mami” or “papi”.“Mami” and “papi” means mommy and daddy however among couples it is a common term of affection meaning “baby”. In our culture it is considered lecherous and disrespectful to have someone you are not in a relationship with address you with this term. However here in NY the words have become part of the urban slang and used freely by non-Latinos and let me tell you something old school Latinos are less than thrilled. Especially old timers like my grandfather…

My grandfather was just finishing his lunch at a local diner with my mother when the waiter approached my mother, “Mami do you want anything else?” My mother cringed and shook her head no while trying to catch her father’s eye. He was glaring at the waiter. Mom shifted in her seat. The waiter turned his attention towards her father, “Papi what about you? Would you like another cup of coffee with your dessert?” Mom reached out and put her hand on top of her father’s hoping to stop what she knew was coming. My grandfather looked at my mother, he was irked but he caught the hint. “No thank you. We’ll take the check as soon as you have a minute.” Several minutes later the waiter came back and handed the check to my grandfather, my grandfather handed him the amount of the check plus a generous tip because even though he had breached etiquette until then the service had been excellent. The waiter smiled at my grandfather, “Gracias papi!” Grandpa looked at him as if he wanted to kill him.


The waiter looked at my mom’s plate and saw she had not touched her apple pie, “Mami would you like me to wrap that up for you?” My mom shook her head no; her father stood up and leaned his mouth down towards the waiter’s ear so no one around them could hear what he was going to say.“Young man do not call my daughter Mami. It is very disrespectful for a man to call a woman mami, especially in front of her father. It implies you have been intimate with my daughter.” The waiter look dumbstruck, “I-I’m sorry papi I didn’t know. “My grandfather crossed his arms over his chest, leaned back and looked the waiter in the eye, “Can I ask you something?” he asked. The waiter smiled at my grandfather and said, “Sure papi.” “You’re NOT my son and I’ve never been into men so obviously you and I have never had sex. So why do you keep calling me papi?”The waiter all red faced apologized to my grandfather. My mother looked at him with pity in her eyes and then turned to her father, “Papi! Stop picking on the poor guy he doesn’t know.” The waiter nodded his head in agreement.

My grandfather looked at him and smiled putting his hand on the waiter’s shoulder, “If he’s going to act like he knows my language then he it’s good for him to learn what’s proper and what’s not. See she can call me papi, she’s my little girl. My wife when she was alive used to call me papi but she could do that because she was the love of my life. But you my man no way.” The waiter smiled at grandpa as mom shook her head, “Ay papi!” “No mija I tell him this for his own good heaven forbid he comes across one of those macho crazy Latinos and calls him “papi” or worse calls his woman “mami.” You know the drama that will be up in here?! What if your husband or one of your brothers was here and this man called you mami?” My mom contemplated what was said and then looked at the waiter, “Look from now on stick to sir and m’am you’re better off that way.” The waiter agreed.

Labels: a day in the life, etiquette, latino, old school, spanish

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Posted by @ 2:46 AM
6 comment from:  DannieS72,  Anonymous,  Goggles Piasano Ritardo,  Mia,  don_veto,  Mia,

Thursday, November 01, 2007

A Lesson

WTF is wrong with kids today? Yeah I know I sound like my grandmother now but seriously when the hell did good manners and respect become obsolete? I’m not talking about remembering to put your napkin on your lap and keeping elbows off the table.I’m talking about common courtesy towards each other.

I was on my way home from school the other night when a high school student boarded the bus and as she walked by bumped into me nearly knocking me over. I looked back at her to make sure she was okay, because the messenger bag that she had nearly knocked off my shoulder with my laptop and assorted thick ass heavy text books weighs a ton and I wanted to assure myself that she had not been hurt by it. See an accident can happen to anyone it’s what you do afterwards that defines you. Instead of apologizing as she should have she stopped, rolled her eyes at me and sucked her teeth...and said, “What?!”

OH HELL to the freaking No this heffa didnt just nearly separate my shoulder and then cop an attitude with me. I not in the mother flipping mood for this. I‘d just been through a rough time in class and wasn’t in the best of moods to begin with (that’s a story for another day) and now this kid wanted to piss me off more. Oh Hell to the freaking no uh uh no freaking way..I was so not in the mood for this....

Mia: What the hell do you mean WHAT?! You just bumped into ME not the other way around. For future reference the words you should be using in place of “what?!” are as follows EXCUSE ME, PARDON ME, or the ever popular and classic I'M SORRY . As a matter of fact even OOPS MY BAD is acceptable yeah I’m willing to accept an oops my bad. .

she sucked her teeth again and gave me the patented ghetto girl half head roll waving her hand in the air for emphasis....I expected her to do the trashy talk show spiel...” what eva what eva I do what I want I do what I want you don’t know meeeeee!”all eyes were on us.....

Girl: Whatever... what you gonna do about it.

Then she got in my face. Girl must've been out of her damn mind. She was several inches taller than me and from her stance and attitude I got the impression that she was under the illusion that I was also a high school student. I get that a lot from truant officers they always try to take me in for playing hooky and then get embarrassed when I should them my ID . Obviously this chick needed someone to teach her respect for her elders and tonight the chore of teaching fell on me. I looked up at her and thrust my upper body towards her readying myself to slap the snot out of her if she stepped up to me again. She crossed her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes at me again as if she was challenging me. I let out a sigh and got into her face with the killer stare and my voice deepening with anger...

Mia: I’m not in the mood for your crap little girl. Seriously I am not. There’s no need for all this so stop your nonsense because you’re irking the crap out of me. Right now I’m not caring that i'm 24 years old and can get locked up for beating up on you. I seriously don’t give a shit by the time the cops get here to slap the cuffs on me your ass will be ready for traction so don’t play yourself kid. You’re messing with an adult not a kid. If you want to act grown I will beat your ass down like you’re grown. So fill me in on what you wanna do.


The girl was dumbstruck. Yup she had mistaken me for a high school student. Damn my lack of stature I should’ve paid attention when ma said, "eat your veggies Mia they will make you tall and strong". Especially the tall part. Her friends started laughing and one of them said, “ ohhhh snap!” I glared at them and said, “Hey peanut gallery nobody likes an instigator.This is between me and her.” I looked into her eyes and said, “Now little girl unless you’ve got something else you want to say you better apologize and go sit your ass down.” The girl stared at me for a second mumbled a half-assed apology and took a seat next to her friends. A woman who’d been sitting down looked up at me and said, “Are you really 24? “ Yes m’am I am.” She shook her head and said, “Oh my god you like a baby!” I smiled at her and replied, “That’s what they tell me m’am.”

As the bus continued it's route I caught the girl sneaking looks at me every now and then looking quite contrite. I hope she learned something that evening.

Labels: bus stories, etiquette, kids, manners

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Posted by @ 5:23 PM
6 comment from:  Just Jane,  Goggles Piasano Ritardo,  Mia,  Mia,  Mia,  DannieS72,

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Movie Etiquette

I’m a movie person. I don't discriminate when it comes to movie genres. From foreign to historical I love them all. Nothing compares with the thrill of watching a good flick for the first time on a huge movie screen the size of brownstone building. While some would argue that you can get the same thrill watching at home on a big screen TV I say uh uh…no way José. It’s not the same. There’s something about sitting in the dark with a hundred other people in a theater that makes the experience just more enjoyable. You sit there with your snack and beverage of choice for about 90 minutes and if you’re lucky enough that everything in the movie falls into place time flies by and at the end of it you don't regret shelling out the bucks to have seen the flick.

However there’s also something about sitting in the dark with 100 other people that makes you want to smack fire out of some of them. You know who I’m talking about the ones who talk throughout … or the ones who read the book and want to compare the movie to the book on the spot. STFU putos! I’m trying to get into the flick…. The couple right next to you groping each other and doing lord knows what with the jumping jacket thrown over their laps. Get a room people! Oh yeah and the tall guy who swears he’s made out of glass and stands in front of you blocking the screen while he s out his wedgie. Cut the crap out man!

Here’s a little clip on movie etiquette Aqua Teen Hunger Force style ….

Labels: etiquette, Mia Explains..., movies

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Posted by @ 2:33 AM
3 comment from:  DannieS72,  Mia,  DannieS72,