Monday, November 26, 2007

Rapunzel Cuts Her Hair


A couple of nights ago I witnessed an act so self-less so rooted in love it amazed me. The fact that my 16 year old hell spawn,devil’s minion baby sister was behind it shattered me; the fact that it revolved around something as superficial as hair rendered me speechless.

My sister’s best friend Nyesha the victim of too many dye jobs had a problem. Her brittle hair was falling out and breaking off. There was no getting around it she needed a hair cut. Even though the Guay stuck to the plan and tried to cut off as little as possible the finished look was drastic, up to her earlobes in length even though it should’ve been shorter in order to totally even it out. It looked great on her of Native American descent Nyesha is so beautiful she can carry any look off but is so filled with insecurities she is blind to her natural beauty. Regardless of how nice we all thought she looked Nyesha was miserable in fact she was actually crying big bucket o' tears over the hair cut. I knew all too well how she felt. Been there, done that, and bought the crappy t-shirt on sale thank you very mucho. We all tried to comfort her but nothing seemed to be working. In fact the more we tried the more she cried.

Finally my little sister Caitlin stepped up and held out a section of her beautiful Rapunzel like hair. Hair that extended several inches beyond her waist, sixteen years worth of beautiful bone straight dark blonde growth. She stepped up to Guay and said, “Cut it. Just like hers.” We all gasped because even though Caity had been planning to cut it for awhile now it wasn’t going to be that drastic of a cut.“It’s only hair; it will grow back, stronger even.” She used the same words on us that we’d been using to comfort Nyesha. Nyesha looked up at my sister and said, “Caity no don’t do it.” But my sister waved her away, “It’s going to a good cause Pantene is collecting hair to make into wigs for cancer patients.” Guay hesitated hoping mom would invoke her mommy privileges and forbid it. Instead mom gathered Caity's hair into a pony tail and secured it."Go ahead Guay chop it off.” Mom ran her fingers through Caity’s hair one last time and sighed. She had resigned herself to Caity’s wish, “Do it it’s what she wants.” As she made the first cut Guay seemed on the verge of tears. My mother looked away she couldn’t bear to see our little Rapunzel cutting off her hair. The brief look of panic on Caity’s face was heart breaking. Her eyes met mine and she quickly put her game face on holding her chin up in that regal manner she has.

One hour later it was finished. Caity’s hair was the same length as Nyesha’s, they had identical hair styles. Caity ran her fingers through her hair fluffing it out; she touched her neck and remarked that she felt cold. It was the first time since she’d been a toddler that her long hair didn’t act as a buffer between her neck and the air. She kept saying, “I love it! This is so cool!” over and over again but I wasn’t convinced she wasn’t putting up a front for her friend. When she looked in the mirror I stood behind her and saw the look of shock in her face. Tears started welling up in her eyes making her amber eyes shimmer and I felt my heart break a little. Yeah it had all been a front. Nyesha couldn’t believe her eyes,“Oh my God Caity, oh my God! You look so adorable!” Caity reached out to her hugging her and giggling, “Hey now we’re twins!” Nyesha looked at her with nothing but love in her eyes hugging Caity tight to her chest her tall body dwarfing over Caity’s petite frame. After Nyesha was gone we sat down and talked about it. Caitlin ran her fingers through her hair she looked so sad. “Do you regret it?” I asked knowing full well she did. She let out a sigh and wrapped a strand around her finger trying to see it out of the corner of her eye, “Yeah I do but I don’t. I couldn’t let Nyesha go through it alone. You know how self conscious she is about her looks. Now she really knows she's not alone.”

Nyesha’s been pretty much alone for several years now. After her father died unexpectedly her family just fell apart emotionally, financially, and it’s been going down hill ever since. Her mom’s not a strong woman and there are some mental health issues there with the mom and an older sister so it falls on Nyesha despite being the youngest to look out for her family the effect it's had on her is evident. Nyesha doesn’t trust easily she’s been through too much in her life she’s been let down too often to put her faith in people. Yet somehow Caity managed to break through Nyesha's defenses when they met in school two years ago and they’ve been inseparable ever since. Despite the fact that Caity is a year younger Nyesha looks up to Caity. In turn Caity is very over protective of her always acting as a buffer between the world and Nyesha when it all gets too much for her. As I listened to Caity and watched her play with her hair it finally dawned on me what Caity meant, the actual why of Caity’s haircut. Caitlin’s sacrifice meant something to Nyesha that had eluded me at first. It was genuine and tangible proof that she was loved, she was treasured and above all she wasn’t alone; Caity would always have her back. Caity had understood what was needed when none of us had picked up on it.

My heart swelled with pride and love for my baby sister. When did she stop being the spoiled self-centered little brat that made me wish I was an only child at times? When the hell did this happen and why hadn’t I been informed? The least the powers that be could’ve done is text message me about the change. Holy monkey I had to do something; I had to show her how much she meant to me at that moment, something only a little fashionista diva like her would understand. I went into my closet and reached up into the shelves where I keep her holy grail, my boot collection. I scanned the boxes stacked up on top of each other and quickly found the ones she’d been dying to borrow but had been afraid to ask after “borrowing” a really expensive pair last year and ruining them. I pulled them out the box yeah those were the ones she’d been drooling over; the leg hugging cocoa colored suede knee high ones. I’d only worn them twice since buying them last year so they were in mint condition. I pulled out the matching at waist suede jacket and the matching messenger bag. I ran back into the living room, “Caity” I said and held the treasures out towards her. She gasped and said, “Mia I can borrow them?!” I gave her a big smile and shook my head, “Na chick you can have them.” She let out a ear piercing shriek only teenage girls seem capable of emitting. Then she jumped up and down like a rabbit on uppers “Oh Mia, Mia! You’re the BESTEST big sister ever! I LOVE YOU!”, and threw herself into my arms crushing all the precious booty in between our bodies. Man she was killing me.

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Posted by @ 1:40 PM
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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Rapunzel's Days Are Numbered

My family has this tradition about hair of all things. It started back in Spain generations ago no one knows who started it exactly only that it the tradition has been a part of our family's documented history for as long as anyone can recall and the tradition albeit modified still continues today. The tradition was born out of religion. My mother recalls as a child her great-great grandmother telling her it was a “promesa” a promise an offering to God as proof of their devotion and faith. The women of the family were not allowed to cut their hair until they married and had their first daughter and then the daughter would continue the promesa . The boys of the family kept their hair long until they hit puberty. Once they got to this country the tradition was changed for the men because of intolerance. They got their first haircut when they started school.

My great-grandmother despite having four daughters never ever cut her hair in her life time . The day she died her hair was actually longer than her in length and at 5ft 10 a short woman she was not. When they were older her daughters would take turns helping her wash and plait it every day putting in her tortoise shell combs to keep the braids they wrapped several times around her head in place. It was only at night right before she went to bed when she unwrapped the full length of her hair to brush it 100 times that one could really appreciate the beauty of her hair. It it cascaded down her shoulders and ended at the floor covering her feet. With her white blonde hair and ice blue eyes my mother used to imagine that her grandmother had actually been Rapunzel and that her grandfather had been the one that rescued her from the tower she had been locked in.

The tradition has been modified since my mom was a kid but the important thing is that it still lives on. The girls are now allowed to cut it when their in their teens. My own mom's hair was down to her calves when she first got it cut when she was 18 . Mines was past my waist when I got my first hair cut at 13. The other day my 16 year old sister came to my mom and said she wanted to get her hair cut. I could tell my mom was saddened by her request and really didn't want her to cut it yet. Caitlin’s hair is down to her waist and a beautiful dark blonde with shimmering high lights . She’s been pestering ma to cut it for the longest. Ma told her she’d have to think about it. Caitlin of course went running to daddy so he’d take her side. Well she didn’t have to actually run because we were all sitting at the dinner table together. My dad was visibly uncomfortable at being put in the middle of the situation and its only for that reason that I think he picked up his cell phone when it rang in the middle of dinner. Usually he’ll let it go to voice mail and return the call after we have all eaten. This time it was different the phone call came just in the nick of time....

Dad: Hey little brother what’s up?

Mom glared at dad knowing full well why he answered the phone and dad shrugged his shoulders at mom as if to say , “What can I do? It’s my little brother on the phone.” One would swear that my dad and uncle rarely speak on the phone. Nothing could be further from the truth. They talk to each other every day , several times a day. After catching pa up on the latest doings of my 7 month old cousin uncle Mike asked about us...

Dad: Oh they’re fine Caity wants to cut her hair. Yeah Mike but you know Maggie’s family has this tradition...

Uncle Mike sided with Caity and then went on to add that at least she didn’t want to dye her hair in colors not available in nature and do a mohawk like a certain lady he knew...My dad started laughing and leaned over to mom and held the phone to her ear...

Mike: Oh man remember when she had it pink and yellow and it was shaved on the sides and she had that 3 foot rat tail hanging down her back? At least she doesn’t want to do all them piercings and shit. Ha ha at least Caity isn’t like that.

Mom: You talking shit about me Michael Angelo ?


He froze when he heard ma call him by his full name.


Mike: Na na na na Mags im just saying at least well you know you used to rock those crazy hair styles in your punk rock days and ummm all those piercings you had . At least Caity doesn’t want to do that.

Mom: Oh you remember my crazy hair styles huh Michael Angelo? What was wrong with a checker board pattern shaved into my hair? What was wrong with blue hair huh Michael A ngelo ? Stressing each syllable in his name. Huh mike-al an-jello? Then she started laughing it’s okay Mike I understand what your saying its cool. I’m going to let her cut it. I’m just going to take her in to the city and do it at one of those locks for love places that way it can be put to good use.

Uncle Mike relaxed while my dad giggled like the village idiot while mom handed him the phone. Then she looked up at an ecstatic Caitlin and said, “ well baby girl it looks like your Rapunzel days are numbered.

My sister and I both agree that when we have our own daughters just like our cousins we will continue the tradition. while my mom and her cousins have continued the tradition in honor of their grandmother my sister and I intend to continue it in honor of our mother.

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Posted by @ 10:17 PM
4 comment from:  Mia,  Crankster,  Mia,  DannieS72,

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

In celebration of lovely lady lumps

Someone once told me that walking into my house is like walking into a sitcom. I’m starting to think they were right. This morning at 8:00 am my baby sister 14 yr old Caitlin was getting ready for school…

Caity: Mommy have my boobs grown?

My mother walks over to Caity and stares at her little mosquito bites.

Mom: I dunno kiddo they look the same to me but then again I don’t stare at your boobies very often. They got laws against that stuff you know.

Caity: Ma for real I think they grew. This shirt used to fit me looser in the front.

Mom: Maybe it shrank?

Caity: It fits the same everywhere else.

Mom: Mmmm … come here let me see.

She stares at the mini diva’s chest as she sips her morning coffee.

Mom: You know what Caity-Bird I think you are right. Your lovely lady lumps look like they’ve grown a bit. Have you been spraying miracle grow on your chest?

With that my sister point to her chest and begins to sing the Black Eyed Peas “My Hump” and starts belly dancing, mom joined in singing and dancing as well….I just stood there staring at them laughing. It was too early for this…

Mom: ¡Mia ven aca nena! Come dance with us we’re celebrating Caity-Bird’s lovely lady lumps!

Of course I can’t resist a celebration and I jump in and start dancing as well. My little bro Steven who is 16 ½ walks by ….

Stevie: What the heck?

Caity: We’re celebrating my lumps!

Stevie: What?

Mom: Caity’s boobies grew so we’re celebrating. Come on and dance!

Stevie: Woman that ain’t nothing to celebrate. It just makes my job harder.

Mom: C’mon baby dance for mommy…

Just then we all start singing in unison, “What you gon' do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I'ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps.”

My brother joins in and starts doing the booty hop making all of us crack up. My mom’s younger brother walked into the living room to see what the commotion was all about with my little cousin Pico in tow…

Uncle: WTF are you doing?

Mom: Celebrating Caity’s boobs growing

My uncle started laughing…

Uncle: Should we really be celebrating that? I miss the days when she was in diapers.

Stevie: See that’s what I’m saying tio!

Mia: Hey man we all gotta grow up sometime!

Uncle: Be quiet I still haven’t forgiven you for growing up.

Mom: Shhh dance with us.

Uncle: No…

Mom: Ayyyy party pooper come on Pico dance with titi.


My cousin ran into the living room and started doing the booty hop with my brother sending his father into a fit of laughter. After watching us for a few seconds my uncle joined us. He did a quickie standing still version of the cabbage patch. The dancing went on for less than a minute everyone had to dash off to school but not before my uncle proclaimed, "God the women in this family are crazy."

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Posted by @ 12:22 AM
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Sunday, March 05, 2006

Sexual Harassment

According to a national survey conducted 85% of girls (11-18) have been sexually harassed at school. Last week my 14 year old sister Caitlin was the victim of sexual harassment. I wish I could say that with the overly PC attitude that is prevalent in society today that the situation was handled to my family’s satisfaction but it wasn’t. The school touched upon the subject of calling the police, my mother felt that it was uncalled for. However she did want the boy suspended from school, his parents brought in, as well as a few sessions with the school counselor so that he could learn about sexual harassment and what constitutes as sexual harassment. Instead nothing was done.

The first incident occurred in the morning. Caitlin had just entered the school and this 16 yr old boy approached her wanting to “holla” at her. Caitlin chose to be polite, she told him she was not interested and attempted to walk away from him. He then grabbed her wrist trying to prevent her departure. A short time later the same guy approached Caity in the cafeteria as she was bending over fixing her boot, he came up behind her and groped her buttocks. She straightened up and went ballistic on the guy then he grabbed her arm. Just then one of my brother’s friends saw what was going on and ran towards Caitlin and my sister yelled for him to get her brother. When the perv in training, Julio Beltran realized that my brother was on his way he let go and left. My brother then tracked the bastard down and for 5 minutes beat the stuffing out of him uninterrupted. It was all caught on camera.

Once the fight was broken up The Dean began interviewing everyone involved trying to find the cause of the drama. He refused to believe my sister, practically calling her a liar. In his words it was impossible that Julio Beltran had harassed her because he was a “good boy”. The Dean then attempted to convince my sister that it had been a case of mistaken identity. Even showing her photos of boys who had been standing behind her in line in an attempt to shake her story, my sister stuck to her guns. My brother was suspended from school for a week as a result. The perv got off scott- free, despite responding, “Hmm I have to think about that” when asked if he had groped my sister and also adding “that’s the way I play with girls”. My brother added, “Well that’s the way I play with guys who grab on my sister and if you touch her again I’m going to play dentist and knock out all your teeth.”

Another Dean whom I remember very well from when I attended that school as a mega bitch from hell, she never spoke to the students she always yelled at them and put words in their mouths. She tried to do the same with my sister and couldn’t handle it when faced with my angry sister walking out on their meeting after refusing to back down from her story. She even had the nerve to ask how was my sister dressed that day! WTF?!! As if to suggest that it was her own fault that she was harassed! First of all it doesn't matter how she was dressed, respect is respect is respect. My sister doesn't wear low riders, or baby belly t-shirts, or skin tight clothing. She dresses very modestly and the issue should not be as to how she was dressed that day. When my sister left the meeting protesting The Deans attitude The Dean yelled at my sister,”OH GROW UP!!”… Unfortunately she didn’t realize that the lady who had just walked into the room was Caitlin’s mother. My mom looked at The Dean and told her. “Hold on a second lady are you okay, do you need some hormone pills why are you talking to that child like that? She is growing up…one year at a time and right now she is up to year number 14 do you mind? I think she is perfect as she is I don’t need a 14 yr old acting like a 20 yr old. By the way I’m Caitlin’s mother.” And my mother then proceeded to rip the lady a new one from everything from their bungling of this whole matter to the way my mother had witnessed her talking to my siblings. My mother pointed out to them that while Julio Beltran had told the deans that he had never seen Caitlin or Steven before Steven was in his gym class and Caitlin was an acquaintance of his former girlfriend. Unfortunately for The Deans they’ve never met anyone like my mother and she has taken this over their heads. So far my mother has spoken to five other girls that say that the “good boy” has groped them and harassed them as well. One girl said that after she befriended him he went as far as to spread sexual rumors about her. She has a written statement (with their parents consent) from each of these girls.

I hate playing the ethnic card; I like to think that we as people are above all that nonsense but I can’t front, I did notice a difference in attitude in different ethnic backgrounds to the beating. The white people were shocked and outraged that my brother had beaten the boy. They acted as if he should be lynched. They felt that my sister and he should have gone to the Deans and filed a report against the boy. I would like to point out that my sister did file a statement with The Dean that kept saying, “he’s a good boy” but that when my mother asked to see the statement they were not able to locate it. The Arabs, Muslims, and Latino teachers/guidance counselors/deans/ assistant deans of the school applauded what my brother did (not to the whites faces though). They all said they understood why he did it and many of the men said that if it had been their sister they would have done the same. My brother’s guidance counselor even closed her door and gave my brother a standing ovation she told him and my mother that she has 2 daughters and 3 sons and if someone groped her daughter she would expect that her sons do the same.


My mother (as do I) feel that if we let this go by Caitlin may be intimidated about standing up for herself if an incident like this should ever happen again because in a matter of seconds The Deans managed to convey to her that in the real world a woman’s voice does not matter, it is what the man says that is valued and perceived to be as true.

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Posted by @ 11:44 AM
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