Thursday, October 27, 2005

Bratty kids...






I was watching TV the other night and I saw a blurb about a show involving some nanny. She goes into peoples homes and like Mary Poppins tames their little spawns of Satan.
Here’s the thing though in this blurb I saw; the little girl is yelling, hitting and spitting at the nanny. At one point the little hellion climbs over a table to rake her little demonic claws across the nanny’s forearm. Maybe it was me but at that point I’m thinking this kid is beyond the help of the nanny she needs a young priest, an old priest, and a gallon of holy water.

I’m a very patient person when it comes to kids but even I at the point would have told the camera man to stop the cameras so I could’ve flucked that kid up. Maybe even taken her to the park and stuck my foot out a few times as she ran by me causing her to bust her ass.

I don’t know if it’s just me but I’ve noticed that the new generations of kids are off the hook.  They get away with things that if I had even attempted as a child I wouldn’t be alive to write this blog today. For example when I was a kid and my mom would take our tribe out we knew how to behave. If we went to a person’s home, we sat down and didn’t move from our spots unless my mom gave permission.  We could be thirsty and hungry as all hell but when offered something to drink or eat we’d say no unless my mom said it was okay.  If we ate dinner at someone’s house after dinner we’d help clear the table and wash the dishes.   We may have not done that at home unless it was our dish night; but we weren’t at home were we? If we went shopping we didn’t stray from my mother’s side, acting like inmates let out of an asylum. We knew how to act in public.  This all came to mind the other day when my mom nipped what look like was going to be a routine of our neighbor’s in the bud.


We have a new family on our floor, well they’ve been in our complex for over 30 years but they’ve just been transferred to our floor. This family has always been known for their terrible kids. The thing is now the terrible kids have spawned a new generation of kids that make the parents look like angels. The other day said anti-Christ’s are running up and down the hallways bouncing basketballs against the neighbors’ doors, screaming like banshees.  They kept running by my door hitting it with the ball and sometimes kicking it, this would make my dog go crazy. My mom opens the door…. She sees the hallway strewn with toys and an open toy chest. Our neighbor‘s door is open a whole bunch of little kids spilling out of it. Christian rock music blasting, and a few of the kids jumping up and down as if they were in a Jesus mosh pit.

Mom: Yo, yo! What the heck are you doing?

Kid : We’re playing!

Mom: Who keeps hitting my door? You know there’s a playground downstairs. Where’s your mother?

Kid: Inside, she’s talking to her friends.


Mom: Please ask her to come outside sweetie.

The kid’s mother heard my mom and stepped out of her apartment.

Kids Mom: What is it?

Mom: Look your kids keep hitting my door bouncing the ball off the wall and it’s driving my dog nuts.

Kid’s mom: And how is that my problem? I pay rent here my kids can play. I got a lease.

Mom:  Oh crud we’re going to have to do this the hard way aren’t we? Well ummm as far as I know you pay rent for your apartment you’re not actually renting the hallway.  This has always been a quiet and clean floor until you moved up here. Last month I had to talk to you about your kids eating and throwing their chicken bones on the floor out here. About you  putting out your garbage in front of the door when the compactor is a few feet away from your door. Then I had to talk to you about actually throwing the garbage down the compactor and not leaving it on the floor of the compactor room. We don’t need this crap. Come on man we all live here together we should be able to respect some rules.  We have a playground downstairs for a reason.

Kid’s mom: Yeah whatever Maggie. Okay kids don’t bounce the ball near her door stay here in this section in front of my door. Shit this is my apartment I pay rent here.  Look Maggie I can keep my door open if I want and if the kids want to play here they can.

Mom: Don’t whatever me!  I’m speaking to you in a respectful manner, don’t try to cross the line with me girl. It is not going to go down good for you if you try to play yourself again, and actually your kids can not play in the hallway. Read the rider on your lease.

The kid’s mom just stared at my mother as if she were speaking a foreign language.

Mom:  You know what? Forget it, you’re absolutely right. You do pay rent and if you want to keep your door open and let your kids play in the hallway it’s your right. But that means I have the same right, correct? Never mind that it’s disturbing to the neighbors.

Kid’s mom: You can do whatever you want I don’t give a fuck

Mom: Hmmm okay cool. I got ya.  Do me a favor and tell your kids to stop hitting my door with their ball and to stop using my door as base in their tag game.

Mom closes our door and waits… she knows that in a few minutes it’s all going to start up again.  I should mention at this point that we have a dog. He is a red nosed pit bull who standing on his hind legs is about 4ft 9; tall. He also weighs in at over 100 lbs. he’s a gentle giant he loves kids.  When people first meet him they are intimidated by his size and breed but once they get to know him they realize how gentle he is and lose their fear of him. When my cousin was younger he’d climb on Kane’s back like horse and Kane would ride him all over the house. The thing with Kane is he doesn’t own a mirror so he has no idea how big he is. In his mind he is a tea cup yorkie.  So keep that in mind he’s an intimidating dog but he’s really a gentle mush.

The kids start up again once again our door is being used as base. A few times they slam their little bodies into our door.  All of a sudden my mom opens the door holding on to Kane’s   harness so he won’t get out. She calls out to the kids’ mother, she comes out looking annoyed.

Kid’s mom: What is it now?

Mom: Your kids… you need to do something with them. They’re doing it again.

Kid’s mom: What you want me to do? Like I said they’re playing, get over it.

The kids continue to bounce their ball against the walls. Walls which my father wipes down on a regular basis to keep them clean.  The kids’ mom says nothing. Kane is going crazy he wants the ball.

Mom: Well I figure since you can leave your door open and let your kids out to play so can I, and since your kids hyped the dog up he needs to go out and play.

And with that my mom lets Kane loose. Kane immediately jumps in the air trying to catch the ball. Kids are screaming running all over the place like scattering roaches when the lights are turned on.

Kids’ mom: MAGGIE!!

Mom: What?  I pay rent; he’s just playing in front of my door. What you want me to do? Get over it. From now on when if they get to play in the hallway so does he. Call management if you have a problem with it.

The kid’s mom rolled her eyes and told her kids to pick up their toys and get inside. They haven’t played in the hallways since.

Labels: kids

Posted by @ 11:54 AM
6 comment from:  Boyd,  christina/ohio,  Aisha,  Just Jane,  Mia,  Emory Mayne,